I have a particularly up and down relationship with my parents, or rather I have a difficult relationship with my parents where I am accepted into the fold if I do as they tell me and I am ostracised if I dare stand up for myself or disagree with them. Of late I've been rather compliant but got into a bit of a bicker with my mother (where she was insisting I was in the wrong about something inconsequential but I'd had enough and wouldn't back down) and she slammed the phone down on me. The next time I rang when I said it was me my father slammed the phone down on me too.
I've always been the black sheep of the family, from what I can gather for being too independent as a teenager, and everything I do will be looked upon as wrong. Conversely my idiot sister can do no wrong in spite of causing a lot of drama stealing/lying/drinking/gambling etc. History will be re-written to say I was abusing my mother hence I am unreasonable to not accommodate all their wishes. I could go into the instances where my parents have ruined things/caused friction but I'd be writing until Christmas. Both my engagement and my wedding were ruined by them and my birthday is always forgotten (three days after my sister, and hers is always remembered).
Anyway, I digress. I've now had a message saying my father needs (needs, not wants) to come to my home for an evening as my mother has been invited to an event nearby and wants him to drive her there and back. Given that they've both slammed the phone down on me for daring to have my own opinion in the last weeks, and daring to think it was a misunderstanding so calling to catch up, I'm minded to say no he can't come. I'll be expected to entertain him in my home as "it's family" which I understand to mean they can treat me like crap and I have to bend over backwards to accept them.
AIBU to say no and finally stand up for myself? Am terrified of the fireworks if I do.