Grrr!! Grrr!! bloomin unwanted phone calls......WARNING RANTY!!!

[phantomnamechanger]

what's your most recent/most annoying one and how do we deal with them?

Just now, making pastry (homemade meat pie), just about finished the rubbing in phase. phone rings. I HAVE to pick up because its the time that DDs would ring if their school bus had not turned up. Also DS is at a sports club and may have got hurt.
But no, its someone offering me a free service on my dyson I DON'T HAVE A BLOODY DYSON & NEVER HAVE! I have lived here 14 years, there is no dyson registerd at this number in my name, she expressed surprise that their data as wrong and said "so what brand do you have instead then?" and I said "NOT INTERESTED, GOOD BYE"

cheeky sods, they are chancers and trying to sell me one. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Ah that's better!

[steam coming out of ears emoticon]

As soon as I realise it's sales I leave the phone on the side and wander off. I don't say anything or hang up even.

3 always ring me "as a valued customer we would like to offer you averaged price additional contract"

Me "I already have a contract"

Them "but it would be a fantastic deal for any friends or family

Me: "I don't have any friends or family"

Them "well do you need an emergency phone?"

An emergency phone??? What for? In case my network goes down...in which case the other sim wouldn't work. And if I broke my phone a cheap one would do. I wouldn't be paying an additional expensive monthly contract just in case

I get one of these every single month.

We got a Panasonic phone that allows you to block numbers from the phone itself. No good if they withhold though

I had a massive rant to virgin a bit ago.

I got a new sim with a new number for my dd age 10 to use in my old phone.

The only people to have the number were me and DH.

Then the ppi calls started on it which totally confused my dd at first - virgin eventually admitted they gave the number to them.

I was pressed for time when someone called asking if I had 5 minutes. I said I had 5 minutes and 5 minutes only so they were to get on with it.

At 7.5 minutes I told them they'd had the 5 minutes, and half again as much. I now had to leave the house for an appointment, and hung up against the sounds of protest that there was only one more question.

I like to think I saved a nuisance call to someone else on that caller's shift. I'm not even sure he'd managed to get the questions around to his point. Oh and I answered all of the calls with the answers that a character from a story I wrote for an OU creative writing module would have given. She lived in a rented flat (I don't). She's late 20s, single, no kids, while I'm none of those. It was quite good fun.

I have had 7 calls today and I answer them because both DH and DS have withheld work numbers. One of them was a real person so I said "No I'm not interested in Green deal, please take me off your list" and he said "I can't do that unless you answer my questions first" WTAF???

When I was living at my previous address I was pestered at least three times a week for many months by a company selling conservatories.

In the end I decided I'd had enough and made an appointment for them to come round and quote me on their most expensive model.

One problem; the house I lived in then was surrounded on three sides by the pavement. The other side was joined to the house next door - these are Victorian semis. There was no garden at all.

Oddly enough I never heard from them again. :)

If I'm in the mood I will play with them to get the ID of the local company that has commissioned them. As the calls come from outside the UK they cannot be traced and are not subject to TPS. But if it's a UK company they are illegally breaking the TPS agreement. I have got to a few ambulance-chasers this way and reported them.

Otherwise I amuse myself in various ways - gurning or speaking in tongues is quite good fun. Asking them lots of personal questions. Saying (after 20 minutes) that their loft insulation would do me no good as I live in a tent. The microsoft-we-will-fix-your-computer one, go as far as you can before saying,I dont think this will work as I dont have a phone (creates an existential crisis). Pretending you believe that yes they are calling from Enfield, is it a good job, can you get a job there for my son, he could meet you after work. I do this, usually while doing the washing up etc at the same time, as I figure I'm blocking the time they could be harassing someone vulnerable.

One person I know wins the prize though - she got one to cry. She got him to chat and asked what his mother would think of him doing such a disgusting job. He wept.

I hate the Microsoft scam ones - someone was on Radio 4 the other day who had lost their entire life savings to these criminals. I have done the following:

Said I don't really understand computers but my son does, could they talk to him? Son is 8 years old and can string them along like a good 'un until they realize.

Keep them hanging on the phone whilst I pretend to wait for the laptop to boot up (can keep this going for 20 minutes) and then tell them I'm on dial up, can they call my (fictitious) mobile number?

Tell them that Kenneth is really not the kind of name that British people have any more, they should really choose a more modern name like Aloysious or Ptolemy and then they'd be more believable.

Pretend that I'm a policeman and lean away from the handset loudly saying "bingo, got another one on the line, you get the trace going and I'll keep him talking long enough to get the number."

We installed a new boiler last year and now we get constant calls offering us one in a government scheme. Are they doing this to torment me?

Friend of mine got a call at work offering to sell her a will making service at a price that allegedly couldn't possibly be beaten. They were mystified when she pointed out that she could certainly beat the price, given that she worked for a firm of solicitors. You'd think they'd set up their software to keep obvious rivals off the list, wouldn't you?

I get annoyed at automated phone calls generally. Those few seconds of silence you get before someone comes on the line always seem to me to signify that they think their operators' time is more important than mine. So I generally waste it by denying that I'm me, saying that I'll go and find me, and leaving the phone off the hook.

I had a variation on the Microsoft one yesterday. Virus in your computer blah blah blah. I told him I didn't have a computer (I do) and he said I had to pay £100 or they would keep phoning. Erm I don't think so.

I had the Dyson service one the other day. I explained to the nice chap on the other end that I am married to a highly qualified engineer who is more than happy to take apart domestic appliances that have broken down and get them working again.

He still tried to sell me their service package - so I asked him if his engineer would also do my ironing for me, and whip up supper too - because the one I currently have does all of that and more. He laughed, agreed that they probably wouldn't, and agreed to take me off his list.

I just don't answer the phone. However let's not forget as annoying as they are. They are only doing a job. Putting food on the table and a roof over their children's head. x

Scarlett, that's surely demanding money with menaces, isn't it? I'd be tempted to ask for the name and address of the person to whom I should send the £100 and pass the details straight on to the police.

but lifehas they are putting my elderly parents at significant risk by doing so. Every time they struggle out of their chair to reach the phone , only to get there and discover that its only a cold caller (yes, I know, they should keep the phone nearby, but they are old, they forget where they left it) they are risking a fall, or a dizzy spell, for no other reason than because someone feels its an acceptable way for them to try to make money. I have no sympathy for them at all, even the legitimate ones. They prey on the vulnerable, trying to pressurise them into parting with their money, and its shocking to me that it is even legal.

The best 1 I had was someone claiming to know that i didn't have life insurance. I roared down the phone asking exactly how they would know this, did they have access to my financial affairs or bank accounts?

Its never the same number though, so blocking tends not to work.
Its also numbers like 0303, 6006 etc, never full on telephone numbers you can google.
I usually tell them they have the wrong number, working on the basis that anyone important will write or email me instead.

I got hung up on today

I answered the phone and was asked "Is that Mrs there. I said that Mr 's wife.

He then asked, "So you're Mrs

I can see why some people get left in the system! So rude, id have left you there too!

more rude than ringing someone in the first place and disturbing them when they don't want to be rung and don't want to be disturbed?

Exactly treaclesoda - I'm fed up of cold calling.

And if they are genuinely ringing to canvas, then they should ensure that they have the correct names. There has never been a Mrs

They were lucky they got that far with me - normally I put the phone down straight away without saying anything . If they are rude enough to cold-call when we have stated we do not want to be cold-called, then I do not need to be polite.

Unfortunately, because our home phone number is also used for business purposes, I do have to be sure it's a cold call first.

The Microsoft one caught out a relation of mine. The rest are mostly scams. So now I play. :-D

My two favourite ones to do so far were the PPI one where they phoned about my car accident ( turns out it must have been the shark attack - I wasn't sure whether the lifeboat colliding with the shark counted, after all) and the one where I was shocked to find out about unauthorised transactions from my computer, which was riddled with viruses. It took ten minutes of ranting about the untrustworthy machine shopping without me before I grounded it in the garage so it couldn't eat my electricity and buy any more clothes before they made their excuses. I was moderately impressed that they kept on the line so long though.

With luck the more time I waste, the less people they will get to scam.

I've been working for a hospital trust for a couple of months, ringing patients to remind them of their upcoming appointments, and to ask them to confirm they will attend. Quite a few people lose their appointment cards, or take the details down wrongly, just forget, or sometimes just don't turn up. However, I am so aware of how IRATE I get when I am called during the day by nuisance callers that it kind of impacts on me making these calls out. I know my call is a genuine one, and can be quite helpful, but to be met with a deep sigh each time someone picks up before they hear who I'm calling from is very depressing. Then some just obviously don't listen so when I say it's about your hospital appointment they just say 'no thank you, not interested' and hang up on me. Or they yell. Sigh. It's no life for a grown up.

raises hand
Twas me that died in the fatal accident
I've been through a name change (owing to the trauma of resurrection obviously) since then.

I've not had any calls for ages, the last one I had was about two months ago and I was actually polite and asked where they were getting my details (it was my mobile they had called). They actually gave me the details of the company who had sold them my info and I contacted them and said 'remove me from your databases now'. Credit to them, they promised to do it and it has been VERY quiet so I'm hopeful.
Either that or my file says deceased anyway

get rid of your landlines!