To feel 'enough with the collections'

[Upwiththelark]

I work with a woman who is forever organising collections for this, that and the other. I have no problem giving to collections for people leaving, or for a major event like a wedding.
But her latest is a collection for our boss's 40th birthday. Lots of people in here have had big birthdays over the last couple of years and, apart from a cake, there was no communal present.
A couple of months ago she organised a collection to buy a present for a colleague's new grandchild.
I know I can refuse to contribute but it can be a bit awkward. However, like a lot of people I'm on a tight budget and just can't afford to be handing over a few quid her and a few quid there every couple of weeks on top of the presents I already have to buy for family and friends.
I know at least two other people that I'm friendly with feel the same. WWBU to suggest, in a general way, a general guide as to what is and isn't appropriate to office wide collections?

I imagine it's difficult to "say no" when it's the boss in question, which is why the boss really ought to get involved in promoting the policy from HR. Otherwise, the people who are already "on board" will find it difficult to step down, and the fact that some have already contributed will leave those "left out" feeling uncomfortable, too. The whole lot needs to be returned, in some fashion, and this person who takes it upon herself to do all these collections has got to be talked to, as this is already creating awkwardness. People go to work to work, not to be made to feel awkward!

I once experienced a "three-line whip", from the boss, to attend a very unpleasant colleague's leaving do. My normal colleagues and I were very resentful, mostly against the boss, and it put a hole in my day that I rather needed to... um... WORK. Twat, and enabling Twat!

YANBU - it all gets a bit much doesn't it. It would be good if HR sorted this out.

I think a card and a bunch of flowers, bottle of wine or similar are more than enough for most occasions. It should just be a token gift no more.

Your HR department should handle this area and give advice. They should talk to the colleague directly.

Someone has to make a call on it. I recently found out that my DH's company only sends flowers for the first baby. Not the second. It was decided they had to draw a line somewhere.
And yes, my DH is the company HR manager and I'm pregnant with our second DC.
(Bastard for thinking up that rule!)

We have £3 per birthday and £5 per special birthday (I.e 21st, 30th etc). No one is obliged to be in birthday club and one person in our team opted out. If there is a baby, leaving etc then an enveloping goes round but it's anonymous who gives anything and how much. At my last work it was bloody sponsor forms I hated, 6 people running in certain races wanting money. One woman brought in her husbands form and I passed it on and she came to my desk asking why I hadn't put anything down and I said 'I have never met your husband why would I sponsor him over my best friend?' She didn't speak to me after that-her loss.

I've passed on leaving cards for people I hardly knew too.

It has gotten really out of hand in my work over the years. Some one, usually a close friend of the person receiving the gift, would go around with an envelope with everyone's name on it and put the amount given by their name. Then the envelope would be hung up just to remind those that hadn't given.

I worked nights in a large unit and very often didn't know the person whose present I was donating for, or indeed didn't particularly like, but you were made to feel obliged. I know I'll get flamed for this, but you had some members of staff who would get almost yearly gifts, get engaged two or three times before getting married then there's the babies. I don't mind giving for the first but one girl has had five babies in nearly as many years! Then you have the odd one that you're supposed to give more for a larger gift because they're MORE worthy! I have my own family to look after. I miss the old days when your friends each bought a small gift.