to think parents should supervise their bloody kids at soft play centres

[wheresthelight]

Sorry I know I will get told I am bu for going to one in the first place but dd is only 9 months and the weather was too rubbish to go for a walk but...

The one local to me has a specific under 18 month section which is great as it means dd cam crawl round without me worrying about her hurting herself and as she is starting to walk it is a great place for her to practice. However today it was invaded by kids who were probably 3-4 years old, no parents in sight, who took great delight in throwing balls deliberately at the babies heads (was there with a friend and his dd), jumping about and landing millimetres from them and on one occasion landing on my dd.

I spoke to one little boy who was about 3 a couple of times and asked him nicely to be a bit more careful but then he landed on dd's leg. So I sternly told him to be careful as it was the baby area. A gentleman was there with his baby grandson and he was quite rude to me over me telling the little boy off.

Did I do wrong? I didn't shout, wasn't nasty or rude just firm.

Surely parents should supervise their kids??

LOL at the poster who said it's fine for kids of around 9-10 or older to run around unsupervised! When they get to the age of 11 or so they tend to have outgrown such places, both literally and figuratively. A lot of them will have exceeded the height limit and still others wouldn't be seen dead in a place for "babies". You do have to let kids of school age (so 5-6 and up) run around unsupervised otherwise you'd look ridiculous. Nowt wrong with that as long as they know they aren't allowed in the toddler area and that if they injure themselves and start crying you have a rough idea of where the crying is coming from!

When mine were little I had no qualms at all at telling boisterous older kids off for being in toddler areas. It's very easy to do if there's a sign on the wall - just point to it and say that the sign says blah blah so they need to play elsewhere. I also had no time for parents who let their kids play there: if they were playing roughly I'd just say "excuse me, this area is just for toddlers" and if they didn't remove their child I'd report them to the staff.

it was me curly but i am new to this whole sp stuff so have no idea at what age they are capable of running round it without me! i just assumed that up to then they need help getting around it or at least parents to be watching them constantly to see where they are etc.

if they kids had been older then pointing out the sign would be fine, however at 3 or 4 years old they can't read the signs so i would expect parents to be fairly close by to monitor and make sure they aren't in the baby areas or on things that are too big for them.

That's my point though, you point to the sign and them what it says BECAUSE they can't read. They may not know they're not allowed in there, or need a gentle reminder. I don't think it has to come from the parent necessarily.

but it should come from the parents curly strangers shouldn't have to parent other people's kids!

I do understand your point of view though, OP. When you go to those places when your child is a baby then the older kids of 4 and above just seem rowdy and boisterous and annoying next to your own precious little baby. But then by the time your baby grows up to that age then they don't WANT mummy running round after them constantly, they want to play independently with their mates or make friends with the other kids there. And you will understand this and let them do it! And you'll be so fed up of 3 years of following them round those places that you will be grateful they don't want your helicoptering anymore so you can have a cup of tea and a chat in peace!

fair enough but it is still their responsibility to make sure that their kids are in the correct areas. It is my job to look after my daughter and not have to watch out for other people's kids just because they are too bone idle to do it themselves!

"strangers shouldn't have to parent other people's kids!"

I disagree actually. It takes a village.... and all that. And What if the parent is sitting near the bigger kids play area so they can keep a better eye on them (every now and again). It would only take a few seconds for an older child to run across to the toddler area and the parental not have noticed immediately. Which is where you come in, in reminding the child of the age limits. Persistent disruption and flouting of the rules is a whole different matter though. Report to staff.

Sorry i disagree - the village attitude is a massive cop out

I don't and will never trail DD1 (4) around soft play equipment sorry, it's there for them to have freedom. But I do check on her regularly and she's generally well behaved.

Every Child can be a monkey sometimes though so I have no qualms about telling others kids gently how to behave.

so YABU to expect all parents to helicopter their children but YANBU to boot out the older kids.

its not about trailing them round but it is about supervising them and keeping them under control

I can't help finding it slightly amusing that you started this thread because you were judged by an adult at soft play and you wanted validation for what you said, then proceeded to judge a variety of other people whilst admitting you have very limited experience of such places.

You didn't like it when you were judged op.

Another thing to remember is that children come in all shapes, sizes and abilities. A judgy parent told my dd off for being in the toddler section last week, quite harshly, saying 'this area isn't for YOU, it's for under THREE'S! You Go play over THERE!' waggling her hand in the direction of the older section.

My dd is 2.5 - she's tall for her age, and may look older, she wears 3-4 yrs and they're getting short, but she is 2.5 and was in the right section for her age.

Luckily for the woman I'm polite, and just said 'She's in the right section, she's 2.5' - what I was saying in my head was slightly less polite.

As they get older it DOES take a village, it's not a copy out, because you won't always be in the immediate vicinity, or at least I would hope that you aren't, and so will your dd, it won't be long before she's saying 'go away mum!'

I'm sorry, but I disagree with you now op, as I believe that it does take a village.
My boys are older now, which is why I'm sat in the soft play working, but when they were younger I was in there with them, trailing about. I played with other people's children when they wanted to join in our games and I told off other people's children when they were too rough, and other people did the same thing for my children. It makes life a lot simpler and pleasanter I think, if we're all a bit community minded.

I am with you on 'it takes a community to raise a child'. I have been in childcare all my life and I have no problem 'guiding' children. If the parents don't like it... tough...but I have 'told off', supervised, and generally told children that what they are doing is wrong. I talk nicely to them and explain and I have never had an irate parent have a go at me. Never (in fact most are pleased that I stepped in as they weren't listening to the parent!) ...I also work in a small soft play centre...And to answer the poster who says 'where are the staff'....We are running around like headless chickens...working very hard for minimum wage!! It is amazing that when you are busy, how you don't even hear the noise, let alone notice anything. If parents tell me that any child is doing something they shouldn't,(climbing up slide, throwing balls, in under 5 area) I will watch a while then have a quiet word with that child...It is difficult because our area is under 5s but I will still tell older children to watch and be gentle with the babies. I also take children there and tho I watch well, it is impossible to see everything. My own baby, now 17, was jumped on by an older child, thankfully not seriously hurt and I'm afraid it is life and if you really cant cope, you should avoid soft play....

I have no qualms about telling off kids who are being aggressive/threatening at soft play or reckless in the babies area etc. Stern voice (with parent and child) usually works.

If a parent doesn't want their child to be told off by a stranger they need to monitor them properly.

Soft play isn't childcare.

After getting into a disagreement with another parent after I told her son that he might hurt himself if he climbed up the slide, I now tell staff if children are misbehaving rather than involve myself directly.

The last time I was at soft play the staff had to ask a group of 4 and 5 year olds to get out of the under 4's section. I know how old they were because they're DS1's classmates. Unfortunately they also threw out the 3 year old brother of one of them as he's very tall. I don't think he minded too much as he could then play with his big brother.

People are entitled to their beliefs but I am also entitled to mine. And the fact remains that's is not my responsibility to have to monitor other people's kids.

I should not have to be telling someone else's 4 year old to be mindful of the baby or that they shouldn't be in that section. Their parents should be watching them more closely and not relying on other parents to do their job for them

I don't expect helicopter parents but I do expect them to pay aattention and not ignore their kids because they are of the opinion that someone else will pick up their slack

Well clearly Miaow you and I shouldn't be at soft play, or should get childcare for 1 of our children.

OP I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and am 37 weeks pregnant. How would you propose I keep absolute sight on both of them at all times in one of the large soft play areas where there are separate sections for different ages?

For a start I no longer fit through the tunnels

fairylightsintheloft if your comment about working in the softplay area was directed at me (and I'm assuming it was as I am the only person who mentioned working), then please note that I also said that I keep an eye on my kids to prevent them from going in the baby area. I am perfectly capable of getting a bit of "filing" type work done whilst also keeping an eye of the kids.

Wheresthelight: Nope. Still disagreeing with you. I think you might feel differently about the whole thing in a few years' time. At the moment you are in "my precious lickle baby - all you horrible snotty 4 year old ruffians, get away from her!" mode.

In a few years' time then I REALLY hope that you will be actively encouraging your child to be go off and explore their play ennvironment on their own, not wandering up and down at the side of the structure like a linesman at a football match, peering manically through the mesh for your child. Because if so, you would look like a loon.

Look, it does kids good to be left to their own devices a bit in places like that - not only are they exploring the structure but they're exploring social boundaries and etiquette. They need to learn to make their own decisions about the right way to behave. Part of that comes about by them getting a telling off from adults other than their parents, whether it's the staff, another parent, or an older child. Honestly if you really think that no-one else but you should be in charge of making sure your child behaves well in public places, then your child is going to get an awful shock when they are at a party on their own and get told off for something. They'd end up the type of kid who goes running to mummy later complaining that such and such shouted at them and what are you going to do? Be one of those awful parents that rushes over to said doler-out of discipline and shout "oi -no-one but me tells my child off, ok?" while brushing 6 yr old's sweetikins' cheek consolingly?

I'm not denying there are awful, entitled and ill-mannered, parents out there who expect their precious 5yr old to be allowed in every section of soft play that they want to roam in, or who are so neglectful that the ambulance has arrived before they've even realised their child has injured themselves but the majority of kids are decent, ordinary, well-mannered kids who get a bit hyped up in those places and need a gentle reminder by the nearest adult that they are in the wrong section.