to think there's no suitable childcare available to me?

[Andanotherthing123]

I have 3 DC and my maternity leave ends in sept when baby will be 8 months. For the last 6 years we've used a combination of daycare and breakfast/afterschool clubs to allow me to work 4 days per week. DC 1 & 2 both have a disability. Eldest needs regular medication via injection which school are trained to give while DC2 has autism and started a special needs school in Jan which doesn't have after school clubs.

A nanny would wipe out what I earn and a childminder couldn't be an option as my kids need quite a bit of extra support and I don't think they'd be willing to take them on as I know they have to look after a few kids at once to make a decent wage.

DS3 can go to daycare but they don't offer school only hours so paying for a whole day but working school hours leaves me out of pocket.

DS 1's afterschool club has agreed to take him and DS2 in sept.dh and I feel that DS2 will struggle to cope and the other kids will struggle with him too.He blows raspberries spits all the time and he can be physically challenging violent when he's frustrated.

AIBU to think I've looked at all childcare options and if this one doesn't work out, I have to walk away from a job I love? I'm scared not to work and worried about how we'll cope financially, although dh recently got a promotion which helps.

I like being on mat leave and I have between 1-3 appointments p.w for the kids so it would be good not to have to juggle them and a job. I just feel frightened that I'll be permanently sucked into the role of carer and any other skills I've got will never be used again. But the flip side is that I will have 2 kids in childcare which doesn't really meet their needs.

I can't seem to make a decision either way but hate it hanging over me all the time.

It sounds like a really difficult situation.

You could see paying for a nanny now as a sort of investment for the future in that, possibly, at some point, your childcare needs will be less and you will have kept your career.

This is what I did but having said that my children didn't have special needs and even now I feel like its hard work juggling a career and kids. Contrary to what everyone says, the demand of children don't always get less as they get older, just different.

Is there a way that you could use your work skills in another way that fits in better with your families needs than a conventional job. If it is cost neutral the main issue is everyone's happiness.

Nanny is by far cheapest option for x3. TAs are a great option for school aged kids, then they can work during term hours too if they like. YY to Ofsted registration and childcare vouchers.

Just to point out you can always get another job. Nobody dies wishing they spent more time at work.

If you feel you can love your job while actually earning nothing AND have your kids looked after by someone else then do so and live your life.

Yes your a unit. It's family money. But dh money appears to be bills so yours is childcare. Doesn't matter how you split it really if that's still the outcome. If you enjoy working for 'free' do so.

But I'm guessing you don't. So either get a job that pays more or cut down. Or stop.

Whilst a nanny may be an option, it needs to be carefully costed out. Children who need 1:1 care or care in small group is always in my view going to cost more than an after-school club with a 1:8 adult:child ratio.

Not all mainstream schools have wraparound childcare facilities. The school in the village I work in has none and we are in a quite high populated part of Surrey.

I would wonder if having DC1 at after-school club, DC2 and DC3 with a childminder would work? It might if the DC2 fits in with the childminder's existing children. Some will offer term-time only contracts if that is what you are seeking.

i think that taking a year out might be the solution. i dont think looking at it as walking away from the world of paid work is helpful. if you have thought it through, and feel that dc2 particularly would find afterschool club hard, then decide to opt out for a year. you could even use this time to try dc2 in afterschool, whilst knowing you are just round the corner to see how it goes. in a years time, baby will be older, dc2 may or may not have got used to school etc.

I referred to splitting childcare costs as a thorny issue because it's caused some debate on here. It's not an issue in our house.

chesterberry there's some useful things to explore there thanks. I will talk to DS2 school. I've been meaning to look into direct payments for a while too so I will get onto that.

this has been useful in helping me step back and think about some other options, so thanks all.

If you love your job then I would find a way to make it work if you can, but it might involve being a bit creative to make it pay/cost neutral. Even if it is cost neutral it gives you a fall back should your dh be unable to support you for any reason (ill health, redundancy etc)

Would compressed hours be an option for you/dh? To make it a bit more cost effective at least. Could your dh start later and you start earlier and finish earlier (I appreciate that's not an option in all jobs)?

minnie the 'nobody dies wishing they'd spent more time at work' is a bit of a nonsense I think. Might apply to some people but I certainly know my mum wishes she had gone back to work sooner after children and was much happier once she did

Why are childcare costs a thorny issue?

I'm a SAHM so not familiar with all this but curious.

Aren't your finances joint? Jointly earned and jointly spent?

Anyway, can you manage on one income? If so it might be worth hiring a nanny and just accepting that you are not making much out of it but you are preserving your career for the future?

Ok I see, not an issue.

I know a fantastic special needs nanny looking for work in london at the moment... Just saying!