To feel bad that I have upset my MIL

[Changedmynametospillthebeans]

So I will probably be told I am being PFB, or U to have facebook in the first place.

I do upload pics of DS on facebook because I have family scattered all over the place, however my profile is very secure and I am careful about what I upload.

I sent a picture of DS in the bath to my MIL by private message (She does not use email) his penis is covered but I did not want it to be public, hence the PM.

Today I have seen that my MIL has put this picture on her own wall, I told DH who wasn't happy either and he has asked her to take it down, which she has.

I feel really bad because I reckon it probably has upset her as she only want's to show of her GC, however I wouldn't want a picture of myself in the bath even with bits covered on someone's wall so I wouldn't do that to DS, also I do not know most of her friends so I don't want that picture shared with them. She has taken it down now, but AIBU to think that if you send someone a picture by PM you don't then post it on your own page?

Also AIBU to feel bad that we have called her up on it and possibly upset her?

Does she normally put up pictures of her her GC on FB?

And if so, did you specify this one was for her personal viewing only?

Plenty of people, especially older generations, don't understand FB etiquette and just won't 'get' why you wanted it taken down. Could you send her another (fully clothed!) photo of DS for her wall? Of course she just wants to show him off, but you can explain how you feel about FB and why. If you don't want any photos of him on her FB, then get her a nice framed one for her house. Just explain nicely.

YANBU and YABU. You're totally reasonable to want to restrict how your DC is shown online, however once you send a picture out, anything can happen to it. Did you make it clear to MIL not to post the picture or forward it on anywhere?

YANBU at all. Maybe message or call her and explain that you hope she hasn't been upset by it.

It depends how you did it. The fact that you said "called her up on it" suggests to me that you might have been confrontational about it.

If you said "I'm really sorry, but we don't want pictures of ds naked to be seen by anyone but family- I should have explained. Would you mind taking it down, please?" I don't see how anyone could be upset by that.

Yes she does post pictures of him from time to time, but this one I wanted to keep fairly private because he is in the bath and his bits are only covered by strategic bubbles. If I post pictures of him to my wall I will tag her in them so she gets a notification, I didn't tell her that the picture was just for her but I would have thought it would have been obvious given that I sent it to her only as a message and didn't post it publicly.

Sorry to drip feed, no DH was not confrontational, he said it pretty much how you typed it Hakluyt

I'd send her another nice one with a message saying 'here you go - this one will be great of FB. It's lovely that you love showing off ***'.
Maybe?

I would send her a fully clothed picture to her and say "feel free to share this one on your page. Sorry about the last one, but we just don't want pictures of him in the buff on show I hope you understand."
I can't see her being upset TBH.
Maybe in future only send photos you are happy for her to share with the world, and only show her the others when you see her in person - so she shares the joy with you, but can't show others.
Or invite her to take pics of her own of your son (fully clothed) that she can share to you.

I don't really get the problem with this picture. I do agree with the general principle of what you are saying but i don't understand why you are applying it to this picture

Yanbu. You also seem considerate to others' feelings which is lovely. She may feel a bit upset so I'd just give her a call and explain how you feel about FB etc. and that photos sent via private message are private and she'll probably understand.

I have to say it really annoys me when I send my photos to people who then use them as if they are their own. Not sure why it just grates on me!

Thanks for the advice, I have sent her a different pic with a message, it hasn't shown that she has read it yet.

It was a really cute picture, but I think the fact that he is in the bath makes me feel like I should keep it private

Such a shame that you feel like that, but sadly the world has changed (no pun intended!!) and we all have to think twice about what would once be treated as cute pictures of our babies.