To let out loads of smelly farts

[xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv]

On underground next to idiot man with legs spread wide. Had bean soup last night. It's even making me gag. Enjoy it prick.

But everyone receives those, not just the plonker beside you.

only if they are silent and you can glare at him and perhaps even make a sort of tutting sound.

Only if you are a toddler or a dog.

Fart away. If you can make them very loud, and then exclaim "Sew a button on that!" or "I'll name that tune in one!" afterwards, then you'd be very welcome in our house.

Lol at bean soup

Actual lols at 'sew a button on that!'

Go for it! make sure to wrinkle your nose in his direction though, muttering 'strewth' as you do.

As long as you do it while cocking your hip to one side while saying loudly "get out and walk".

As long as you do it while cocking your hip to one side while saying loudly "get out and walk".

Oops

Good on ya!

If you get off the tube before him, just leave one in your place for him to enjoy.

only if they are silent and you can glare at him and perhaps even make a sort of tutting sound.

What hecate said. You must look properly disgusted.