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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think dh is being selfish

55 replies

medic78 · 04/06/2014 13:41

So ds who is 10 is in the school play. It is a non spesking part but he is still excited. It is a secondary school style play where you have to buy tickets (probably 1 and a half hours long.). Dh has indicated that he doesn't want to go. He went to the Christmas one and thought it was too long and boring.
Aibu to think he should put himself out for the sake of his sons feelings.

OP posts:
AllDirections · 04/06/2014 18:43

I used to have a friend whose DH refused to watch their DS in a tennis tournament.........because he wanted to play with his trains Shock

He was off work for 3 weeks at the time so he could have played with his trains anytime. My friend wanted him to go and their DS wanted him to go. She also had to take their younger DS. I was Shock Shock Shock

happycamper80 · 04/06/2014 18:56

It would be nice if he made the effort op.

elfycat · 04/06/2014 19:09

DH couldn't go to DD1's Xmas thing and was very sad about it all. He works away a lot of the time and it coincided with a work period. When he's home he's very present as a parent. It doesn't take much.

AnyFucker · 04/06/2014 19:15

What is he, a parent or a sperm donor ?

Ridiculous man. Kids grow up so quickly.

NotEnoughTime · 04/06/2014 19:51

I think he is being very selfish Sad

I must be honest I would be very upset if my DH had this attitude.

There are loads of boring bits that you have to do/see when you are a parent-watching the fimbles live in concert was a particular personal highlight Grin but that is part and parcel of being a (good) parent.

As previous poster's have pointed out if a parent can't make it due to other genuine commitments then that is fair enough but if it is a case of CBA then that is a different matter.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 04/06/2014 19:57

Yup, school plays are long and boring.

So is making the effort to go and see your old retired dad when all he does is repeat the same conversation about the garden and the annoying neighbour...

So your DH sows, so shall he reap. Smile

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 04/06/2014 20:07

Tbh I'd maybe leave him for his brother....

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 04/06/2014 20:14

He's BU. I've always gone to the plays and it's lovely to see their faces light up when they see you. I can never usually make out a word the ones with a speaking parts are saying as there's always a cougher/sneezer/whingy child but I'd never not go as I'd feel bad if I didn't.

Sports Days are not what they used to be but I still go along. If it keeps them happy then it's worth. There isn't that many adults I put myself out for.

DocDaneeka · 04/06/2014 20:23

bruno nails it once again

(Love the username too)

WhoDaresWins · 04/06/2014 20:42

I would not tolerate this from my DH at all.

There are loads of parenting things that are tedious and boring. We ALL find them tedious and boring - why does he think he's so special that he doesn't have to do it?

hugoagogo · 04/06/2014 20:48

Oh god I hate going to school plays, I am so glad both mine are at secondary now and I am free of such crap.

I remember being in them when I was at school, but have no idea if my dm or dd came to see me or not.

Fathertedfan · 04/06/2014 21:11

Your DH is definitely BU. but I don't blame him. School productions are dreadful. Especially if they are singing songs from the lion king. Or Adele. Or recorders are played.

NorksAreMesssy · 04/06/2014 21:15

The cats in the cradle, and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.....

:(

GoblinLittleOwl · 04/06/2014 21:19

Yes he should go; it's not about him , it is about his son. Can't believe parents don't want to go but know that it happens all the time, and that children really care.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 04/06/2014 21:33

He is a knob.

I had to move in with my df and and sm and neither of them came to anything. My best friends Dm used to wave to us both :-(

ThePinkOcelot · 04/06/2014 22:41

My DH doesn't like going to school plays etc. Tough! Its all part and parcel of being a parent! He comes!

Jinsei · 04/06/2014 22:56

I love school plays! Blush

DH finds them quite a chore, but he doesn't try to get out of going. 'Tis a parental duty!

MrRedAndBlue · 04/06/2014 23:15

I went to every play/show I could - some of them were okay, some were boring, but I consider it part of being a dad to be there whenever possible.

princessconsuelobananahammock · 04/06/2014 23:20

My dad used to make it very clear he didn't want to come to stuff like this so I used to pretend I wasn't bothered whether he was there or not. I was though. Parents evenings were the same. I'd have really liked it if he'd kept on coming.

DollyPS · 04/06/2014 23:55

Whomever is free goes as sometimes we both can't and yup they can be crap and boring but the look on their faces says it all really. My own mother and step father couldn't be arsed for such nonsense they said.

teenagetantrums · 05/06/2014 00:10

I hated school plays, but despite working full from when my kids were tiny i was always there, their dad went to one when we were together and one after we split up, so in 13 years of schooling one event per child, do you know what the kids remember these things, they have very little respect for him as a father now obviously there is way more to my that than coming to school plays, but the do mention how he never came to any school things.

wheresthelight · 05/06/2014 00:42

I guess it depends if your ds wants his dad there. If does then your dh is being incredibly selfish but if your ds isn't bothered then I don't see why it matters.

AllDirections · 05/06/2014 15:38

So is making the effort to go and see your old retired dad when all he does is repeat the same conversation about the garden and the annoying neighbour...

Yup, what goes around comes around Wink

Some school productions are really good, others not so much. Did someone mention recorders? Think I'll take ear plugs in future so I can read my magazines in peace

MummyLuce · 05/06/2014 15:42

Your DH sounds horrid! I would be livid if it was my DH.

LadyNexus · 05/06/2014 15:47

School plays are a trial any good parent must endure, it is so we can earn the right to reparations ourselves endlessly in our dotage.

Besides you are a partnership aren't you? If you have to go to hell dp should go with you.

Ooh I got all zen on that one. Grin