to not like being told I look tired when I'm not!

[popmimiboo]

Ok, have sore eyes from hayfever and on days I don't work I see no reason to slap on a load of make up to do the school run.
However when picking up DD, wearing jeans and t-shirt, pony tailed and make up free, I was looked up and down at by another mum (who doesn't work but was looking immaculate in beautifully chic clothes and heels, perfect make up and straight out of the salon hair) that I looked "really tired!" Just that, "Oh hi, you look really tired."

AIBU to have taken this to heart and think I should never leave the house without the war paint again?!

I wasn't tired either!

sorry but you did look her up and down too... you could have said "hi, bit much for the school run? are you off to a party?"

leave the house with as little or as much war paint as you like.

i don't think i have put on any make-up since i fell pregnant in march last year. I don't give a fuck wether i look tired or not.

i am extremely pale and i get 'you look ill' 'you look tired' 'are you aneamic?' on what is often a daily basis. i used to take it to heart but not anymore. its really not worth dwelling on.

Oh dear, I know I've said this very thing to someone in the past and I know I meant it well. I meant it in a concerned way, as in, is everything OK? But reading your post made me realise it was actually not a very nice thing to have said....that's really not how I meant it though...Oooopps!

Gah! I hate this too! Is like saying "oooooh, you look rough today!"

YANBU however I know that when I don't wear my under-eye concealer I look tired at best and ill at worst!

I hate this, it's just another way of saying you look like shit.

I think it's on a par with "cheer up it might never happen" on the irritating scale! I don't know why but I usually find it tends to be women who say to me "you like tired" and men who say "cheer up/smile"...and usually I'm neither tired nor miserable lol!

Well I wear a bit of makeup every day and a woman I see once a month for book group always says in a concerned voice 'are you alright, you look so tired!'. I know she's genuinely concerned for me, not being mean, its embarrassing! One day I will say 'yes, i just look this shit all the time'

I say this all the time. Most people seem fine with it and it can often give opportunity to off load.
I don't get offended if people say this to me.
The things you learn on mumsnet.

Whoops.... I said this to someone yesterday. I did think they looked tired - or perhaps were coming down with something - I was concerned. But apparently they just didn't have make up on. They weren't offended though! I'm not offended when people say it to me. Nice to know people care.

Some people do say it because they're concerned, which if you know someone well is fine. Some because they're not thinking properly or it's a throwaway comment.

Some (annoying) people use it as a power play to see if it will upset you. or as a prop to their own insecurities. If you think you look fine, what anyone else thinks is not important.

Gah! I hate this too! Is like saying "oooooh, you look rough today!"

I get this when I don't wear makeup too. I used to work in cosmetics and wore tons of it every day so whenever I don't wear it people think i'm ill, especially my mum.

Sometimes now I actually tell her in advance that I'm fine I'm just not wearing make up if I know she is coming round!

I wouldn't worry.

I get told the same when I don't put as much make up on.

You ok? You look - pale / tired / stressed / different / upset etc.

No, I'm just a lot better looking with a full face on.

YaNBU.

Naffs me right off when people say this, I never understand what response they want "oh thanks for reminding me I look shit" ?

"Did you mean to be so rude?" works too.

OR
Ignore the comment and give them a full-on slow, toe to top stare with a half smile before saying, "must run, I'm busy!"

Oh yes, (bangs forehead), I forgot the great mn "did you mean to be so rude?!" How could I have not used this opportunity ;-)

I think in the right context, it could have been a kind, caring thing to say. Just the breezy, throwaway comment when she had obviously gone to a lot of trouble to look marvellous herself, really riled me

I read a similar thread on here recently & the best reply was from a poster who said she always says the same back to the person. "Gosh I was just about to say the same thing to you. Are you feeling ok?"