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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was incredibly unreasonable, inconsiderate behaviour?

24 replies

WaywardOn3 · 03/06/2014 11:19

Went to the petrol station with ds, filled up and as we were looking round the shop for essential chocolates and magazines a man brought in his chicken pox ridden child Shock He'd been filling up next to us and could easily have left this child in the car with the other child and adult passenger.

But no he let this child run all over the store and touch everything including ds! Ds hasn't had it yet and I would rather him not have it when we are meant to be going on holiday. The child even ran into several other very unimpressed customers and woman on the till was pregnant. He just laughed it off with 'he's not infectious any more'... Well he certainly looks highly infectious and that behaviour is unacceptable ill or not >_>

Probably being pfb but if I was able to leave my child in the car when they had chicken pox I would and I would never allow ds to run amock like that!

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 03/06/2014 11:28

YANBU and YABU. I had both my DDs come down with it recently and I know it's because a parent at their school had ignored their child's symptoms. It's one of those things...they have to get it some time...it's not usualyl fatal anymore!

EmmanuelWoganberry · 03/06/2014 11:30

YANBU purely because there was another adult in the car so absolutely no need to take him in the shop.

FrenchJunebug · 03/06/2014 11:35

one the spots are out kids are not infectious, so YABU in this instance but YANBU in that chicken pox or not a kid shouldn't run around the shop and touch everything.

grocklebox · 03/06/2014 11:37

Its not one of those things, it could seriously harm my immunocompromised child.
And they are still infectious with the spots, ffs!

mismylinford · 03/06/2014 11:38

YANBU chicken pox or not !!
when ever i am out with dd and see a child misbehaving i usually say to her quite loudly
"im so glad you know how to behave dd"
that's if she dosnt say about it first.
not forgetting child is in a petrol station a dangerous place for many reasons.

WooWooOwl · 03/06/2014 11:39

If the child wasn't infectious, YABU.

The spots last much longer than the contagious period, which is mostly before the spots appear anyway.

capsium · 03/06/2014 11:39

The advice our doctor gave us was that once the spots are scabbed over the child is no longer infectious. Life goes on. This man did say the child was no longer infectious. I'm afraid it is impossible to avoid all infectious disease. I think the children are contagious before the spots even come out, during the incubation period, when a child might have not even been diagnosed.

slartybartfast · 03/06/2014 11:42

i spect his child was getting over chicken pox, the dad said he wasnt infectious. he probably took advice regarding that. and the Child had Cabin Fever! rsulting in his running amok

soverylucky · 03/06/2014 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

softlysoftly · 03/06/2014 11:44

French incorrect they are infectious into the spots have ALL scabbed over. Blister spots period is highly infectious.

OP were they blistered or scabby? DDs both have CP currently we are on day 10 (argh). DD1 is totally scabbed DD2 is also totally scabbed but the ones in her nappy won't dry up so still stuck in though I think I might be being over cautious.

However DD2 will be done in a couple of days and will be going out but WILL still look scabby as she has picked so infected all the ones on her face so they will take ages to heal :(

deakymom · 03/06/2014 11:54

even if they have scabbed they still ooze and they pick at them which brings up the whole blood tainted fingers etc why didn't he leave the child in the car with the other person?? Tennis (because i can)

WaywardOn3 · 03/06/2014 12:03

They looked red and very sore :-(

I had chicken pox, shingles and impetigo as a child, being kept at home was just one of those things. Mum and the tv entertained me and dad had to do the shopping after work as mum wouldn't risk me out in public if possible. We had quite a few elderly, pregnant or neighbours with young children in our small village.

OP posts:
Runesigil · 03/06/2014 12:07

one the spots are out kids are not infectious

Sorry, but it's once the spots have scabbed over that the child is no longer infectious.

" I think the children are contagious before the spots even come out, during the incubation period, when a child might have not even been diagnosed."

Absolutely!

But it is scary to see a spotty kid running around unsupervised, that parent could have left their child in the car with the other adult.

isabellavine · 03/06/2014 12:27

YANBU. I would be cross too.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 03/06/2014 12:38

It sounds like he was behaving like a brat, but YABU about the chicken pox. He probably WAS over the infectious stage and has a right to be out and about without PFB people screaming ' DON'T INFECT US!'

dawndonnaagain · 03/06/2014 12:47

Not just PFB people, actually. If, and yes, I am aware it is IF, he were still infectious, he may put people with damaged or weakened immune systems in jeopardy. Not funny, not pfb, damned dangerous and damned selfish of the parents.

McButtonwillow · 03/06/2014 12:54

My 4 year old has c.pox at the mo, he's back at school as the spots are scabbed over. Current medical guidance is that in the spots are crusted over its not longer contagious. As they can take a couple of weeks to fade completely and assuming this boys spots were scabbed over YABU about him being in the shop but YANBU about him running around.

isabellavine · 03/06/2014 13:01

I think context matters here. This was not a lone parent with a child out doing essential errands, but a family trip. The OP made it clear that the child could have stayed in the car, because another adult and another child were out there. Instead, this father chose to bring him indoors, completely unnecessarily.

Now, it sounds like there IS a risk that the child could be infectious, given that the OP reports spots that were still raw. So why take the risk of bringing him into a public place, when it would be so easy to leave him in the car?

OnlyLovers · 03/06/2014 13:03

Chicken pox or not, why was he allowed to run around the shop touching everything anyway?

FrenchJunebug · 04/06/2014 13:29

I know about the scabbed over spots btw. Just saying

limetictacs · 04/06/2014 15:12

YABU and a little bit paranoid. If the child was no longer contagious then you're not at risk. As for the behaviour I think a lot of people are being a bit intolerant. It didn't sound as though the child were being naughty- kids run around and have lots of energy.

missmylinford making loud remarks about other children's behaviour doesn't help anybody and is actually quite rude. You don't know if that child could have special needs which affect their behaviour or even if they are just having a bad day. It's a shame because all parents deal with the same crap and most people are just trying to do their best. If my children act up in public I find it very embarrassing and sometimes telling off/time outs/count downs etc don't work so dirty looks or loud comments would only make an the situation more uncomfortable for everyone.

creamteas · 04/06/2014 16:13

I had a friend at school who got a secondary infection at the same time as chicken pox. This meant her spots have never gone away.

They remained red and angry looking for her entire childhood, they eventually faded more to skin colour and she also had some plastic surgery on her face.

Having to put up with a succession of snide comments and people trying to ban her from activities such as swimming made her life very unpleasant and was probably a contributing factor in serious mental health issues, including a suicide attempt at 15.

So please don't judge unless you know the facts.

grocklebox · 04/06/2014 16:15

She doesn't know if he wasn't contagious, just that the man said he wasn't. Not the same thing, especially as we can see here that a lot of people don't know shit about what is contagious and not!

MrsBungle · 04/06/2014 16:17

My dc's had cp 2 months ago and you can still see their spots. The dad said they weren't infectious anymore so it seems as if he'd thought about it.

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