to expect the dc to get on well together?

[CocktailQueen]

God. I can't remember the last time the two of them played something nice together. On holiday last week they got on well, shared a bedroom etc., but back home? Totally different. It's so depressing. They don't say hello or goodbye to each other, don't support or help each other, and dd age 10 just nitpicks at ds all the time, criticising him for everything.

Have just asked dd to get ds's medicine from the kitchen and she made a huge fuss, couldn't find it. It was right there. She just CBA looking. She's so sulky and stroppy at times, it's depressing.

I feel like banning all laptop and ipad and TV until they can show me they can behave better.

AIBU??? (I know I have asked a couple of questions here)

I expect (demand) civility but friendship can't be forced. My 2 oscillate from being best friends to mortal enemies and back again faster than I can keep up with. It's normal, and personally I think they probably get on a lot better than db1 and I did, and whilst I wouldn't say db1 and I are exactly friends now, I would be slightly reluctantly fetching a bucket rather than adding kindling - so there is hope for my 2

To be fair, you don't ask to be thrown together with your sibling(s) and forced to live in the same house and expected to get on. What if you just don't get on?

I always felt pressurized by my mum to like and play with my younger sister, and tbh, I not only disliked my sister, I also hated my mum continually saying we had to be friends. We are very different and I'm sorry but I found her a PITA then and I still do now.

I now have 2 DC and while it's lovely if and when they get on well, I try to be aware of how I felt as a child, and respect their wishes. If someone wants to be left alone, I facilitate that and I would never tell them they have to be friends. Why should they? You get to choose your friends.

I have made the decision to go NC with my older brother since December 2011. There is a difference of 21 months, and we used to fight most days. He is my only sibling, and although I am a little sad in principle, I don't miss his smug, twatty face one bit.

He was abusive to me - verbally, emotionally, physically and on two occasions, sexually.

My parents really had no clue about his behaviour, even though Mum went through a spell of marking the calendar if we didn't fight. She gave up because it was so infrequent.

It came as no shock at all to me that when his first wife requested a divorce, she stated that he had been abusive in a multitude of ways. My dad was shocked, and I'm still not sure he believes her.

I know my situation is extreme, but I wanted to show you that sometimes observing a relationship, even one as close to you as your own children, can be very different than living it.

Meow. Awful. I don't blame you.

When my DS1(15) and DS2(14) get on well, it is absolutely fantastic but sadly quite rare. I keep having to take sanctions against DS2 as he causes most of the problems between them and can be a bully but it doesn't help that DS1 won't stand up for himself and tries to ensure that it's me that sorts things out (which I will only do as a last resort).