To think that some posters have literally no idea what life is like for those with a family member who has disabilities?...

[Perspective21]

Just to say thanks to all those posters who have responded generously, kindly and empathetically to recent bunfights on here. To those who have bandied about ridiculous advice, ill informed opinions on the financial payments our family members are recognised to need (by an official, independent body) and generally upsetting nonsense, I direct you to the This Is My Child MN campaign. Thank you all

if only I had a pound for the comments in the playground.. you ought to...

Indeed...until you've walked in our shoes....

Sorry, off to do bedtime for a small boy, check back later x

YANBU.

I can understand that people who have no experience of disability might not see things unless they are pointed out to them, but I don't understand when people wilfully shut their eyes to it and don't try to think about these things.

We'll of course some of us have no idea.... Not all of us have a disabled family member!

I wonder if people know what the divorce rate is like in a family with a child with a disability. I believe I've read it's something like 8 in 10 isn't it? We have 4 families in our church with children who have disabilities (that I know of). All of them are still married - for now. That's nothing short of miraculous I think and we TOTALLY take that for granted.

No, joules, but as the op says - thankyou to all the posters who have responded generously, kindly and empathetically... it is possible to have empathy even if you have no actual experience.

YANBU. I have no idea what life is like as a family with a disabled child, though. My closest experience comes from having a brother with child onset schizophrenia- which originally appeared to be like autism until the positive symptoms appeared later. I didn't even live with him full time but it was hard for his foster parents and it was hard for us (and of course, mainly for him), so I do try and be as aware as possible, having experienced the misinformation and insults thrown at him, and the every day difficulties which most people will never see.

Yes Joules, I understand that you may not have an idea and so it's very polite of you to not wade in with a lot of nonsense which has been written on here lately.

I thank you for your neutral and perfectly acceptable stance.

I wish others would also think, I don't really know about this, so I shan't post goady rubbish.

It's good to know ones' limits...

I actually think the majority of MN is made up of empathetic, generously gracious posters and only a tiny minority hold out moded and unsubstantiated views about disability.

YANBU. I don't have experience, but from friends and on here I can see that it's a hard road to travel.

YY, I don't have experience but am grateful to posters who do and who remain so patient with queries (daft and not daft).

I've been horrified by some things on these threads recently.

and for everyone x

I would suggest that posters unhide the special needs section and have a read. It wont take long to get a bit of an insight into what their lives are like.

Thank you all, it restores the faith after reading such depressing responses on some threads lately

Perspective

I have zero knowledge first or even second hand and I wouldn't dream of posting anything. I do have the utmost respect though.

Of course many of us don't really know what it's like.
We can empathise but that's the best we can manage.

Oh god I saw a thread about the cost of having a child with disabilities, so glad I didnt read it. I havent read (fortunately) any disablist views on MN all I can say is that I am having to cut down work next academic year as its getting impossible to juggle the needs of DS2 with working everyday and every week I have to buy him a new uniform as he eats his uniform (due to his autism)... Thats two examples of less income and more expenditure due to his SN

Samartie that is all anyone asks

a lot of people don't know what it is like, but a lot of people take time to care and be supportive,
then you have the ones who don't........ and just don't care.

even mn hq think disability ends at 18 (no place for adults in their campaign)

I didn't even bother to click on some the threads I've seen recently.

The first huge assumption is that how one disability affects and individual and their family is how all disabilities affect individuals and their families - completely insane

Have been at a complete loss for words in recent bun fights.
YANBU

Yanbu. I have no direct experience, I can only imagine what it would be like. However, I know enough not to question what benefits someone else is entitled to, and not to assume that everyone could work if only they made the effort.

People aren't going to have any idea if they don't have to live it. In the same way that I really don't understand what it's like to have a disabled child and those with a disabled child don't really understand what it's like to be a disabled adult.

The thing is though, imo, is that some people are more open to listening and trying to understand, even a tiny bit, than others.