Madeleine McCann related

[CiderLover]

Just came across a post about MM on here and it got me thinking.

AIBU to think that if MM was found alive, she would be terrified being returned to her parents? After all they would be nothing but strangers to her now surely?

Also there is the Stockholm syndrome.

They are searching a wasteland, I somehow don't think this is to find a live child.

I would love for her to be found alive. I feel it is very unlikely. I wish for her parents and family to have closure either way, I really do.

Adsy calm down.

It is an interesting question, the few times people who've been abducted have turned up alive as far as I'm aware they have all been older children or adults when abducted so memories already formed.

Sorry,
I thought it was an interesting question and the question/ accusation of neglect was shoehorned in.
Anyway.... as pp say, I guess it would be treated like an adoption. Having said that, with adoptions the child is usually with foster carers that they know and go back to after an adoptive parent visit. That's not going to be the case that they gradually let her get to know her real parents and she goes back to the abductors in the mean time.
Maybe she would go straight home and there's be lots of help from counsellors etc. If you were the parent you'd go mad if you couldn't have her straight back,

If you were the parent you'd go mad if you couldn't have her straight back

thankfully most of us will never know that feeling. But I would liken it to the experiences of another friend, whose baby was very prem and in SCBU - desperate as she was to hug and hold and take her baby home to settle into the life they had planned and looked forward to, she knew they had to take it very slowly, because the baby's needs trumped hers.

Hello everyone,

Thanks to those who brought the thread to our attention. We're happy to folk to discuss the McCann case in general, but we'd like to remind everyone firstly of our talk guidelines, and secondly, that there is a grieving family involved in this case, so we'd really appreciate it if everyone could bear this in mind when posting.

If we feel this thread has gone beyond the pale, we may remove it. If there's anything you think we should see, please do report it.

It depends on where she is (if she's alive) and what has happened to her. Best case scenario (and the one we're probably all hoping for) is that she's with some kind family who have adopted her unaware of how she was abducted. But it's so unlikely really.
Her parents love her and their lives are obviously in limbo without her. So I would love to see some kind of ending where they would still have her in their lives, however slowly and carefully that would have to happen.

Any negative comments about her distraught parents are pretty disgusting.

MNHQ ALWAYS delete a thread which paints the McCanns in a poor light. The McCanns must have damn good lawyers imo.

FFS broken - way over the line.

Or, brokenhearted, it could be that they are a grieving family who don't need a load of strangers making defamatory comments about them. Like yours.

MN is a website for parents - all parents.

It would not be appropriate for MN to have threads blaming and accusing MM's parents.

And of course they will have good lawyers. For goodness sake, if it was your child - wouldn't you?!?!

Interesting point OP.
If MM has been raised by a loving "family" how would a child cope for example if they spoke a different language or the culture was completely different,what if she hadn't been educated,had had a totally different life to what we know in developed europe ?

It also raises the question of how parents would cope in that situation - does nurture or nature prevail ?
Taking the example of the McCanns,an educated.MC couple from western Europe,how would you cope with a child coming back into your family who had spent the majority of their life with a completely different set of values,lifestyle,perhaps uneducated,even simple things such as table manners etc are all indicators of how we've been raised and identify us as part of a family. Although every parent loves their child unconditionally,the child they once "knew" would undoubtedly cease to exist.

Very sad scenario fluffy and, unfortunately, the best one possible. There's just no happy ending whatever may happen.

Really dislike the unpleasant finger pointing and gloating and really hope that if those posters ever make a mistake and have to live with the consequences for the rest of their lives they realise there are compassionate and forgiving people in the world, who know loving parents aren't necessarily perfect.

Also, could MNHQ please dignify Madeleine with changing the title of this thread to include her correct name?

But how could she have been raised by a loving family Fluffy when either they abducted her or have wilfully kept her from her family. Because surely there's no chance she's with anyone that doesn't know who she is.

If she were found I think the McCann's would find a way, however long it took to re-envelope her into their family. I was listening to the radio today about the US Hostage released from Afganistan and would imagine professionals would be there to help with what they were likening to decompression and re-entry issues.

Like Sparkling above I wish the McCann family well. I hope their little girl is found soon. She was lost just a few weeks before my PFB was born and to think that is 7 years is breathtaking. My prayers are with them x

I remember a mini series from the 80s called 'I know my first name is Steven', based on the true story of a boy who was abducted when he was 7. When he escaped as a 14 year old, he wasn't sure of his real last name, and had forgotten a lot of stuff about his family. An 11-y-o MM could easily have forgotten pretty much everything.

Quite honestly whilst the question is interesting from an academic view point if it happens I'm sure there will be plenty of people far better qualified than us to deal with it.

As for her not being the girl they knew I expect even if she had been indoctrinated into something vehemently at odds with what they believe and/or refused to have anything to do with them they'd still just be pleased she was alive.

Some adopted children, when they grow up, are so eager to find their biological parents, they spend years and years on searches with no guarantee that the person, who gave them up for adoption was to be welcoming them back into their lives.

Here, a small child was taken from the loving family, what an odd question to post.

TSS obviously nobody knows but I suppose it's possible that a child could be abducted and then adopted/taken in by a different family or set of people. The whole world doesn't get UK news, or it could have been so long past the time they were taken that any child wasn't easily recognisable.

For example, there are stories of rich American Christian fundamentalists taking on children from overseas adoption agencies who were taken from their parents under false pretences (saying "We'll give you a break" "We will send this child abroad to be educated but he'll still be yours" "We know you can't feed all of your children so we'll feed some of them for you") - in short because the Western couples can pay and these are poor countries. The child is raised by the Western family (who think they are orphans) and in some cases the truth never comes out. In others they don't want to know because they don't want to lose their child, either. It's a really sad situation. Of course in this scenario, the adoptive parents have the political and financial power.

It is a very interesting question, and one I admit I have pondered occasionally. I can only think that it would have to be some kind of phased and gradual process to return her to her real family after so long. I actually hope it does have to be addressed, because that would mean she had been found, though I am realistic about the prospects of that.

It is perfectly possible that if MM is alive (and I do hope she is) that she does have memories dating from before and during the time she was taken. I have fairly clear memories of the house my parents lived in until I was 3, and I am 47 now. An almost 4 year old such as Madeleine was on an exciting holiday abroad, during which the trauma of the abduction happened. That could well be the type of thing that would sear itself into the memory even of such a young child.

I really feel for the McCanns. I cannot imagine how on earth they have got through the last 7 years (other than that they have simply had to for their twins). I hope they eventually get closure, and that Madeleine is returned to them alive, however unlikely that may now seem.