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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think next door's teenager's boyfriend should bugger off and smoke somewhere else?

29 replies

Xihha · 02/06/2014 08:55

Every morning before school the boyfriend (year 10, i think) comes round to meet the teenager so they can walk to school together and leans on the wall between our front doors having a cigarette then drops his fag butt by my front door, then after school he walks back with her and stands there smoking before going into her flat. We live in a block of flats, the stairs have signs up saying no smoking and there is next to no ventilation on the stairs so the smell lingers.

To be fair to the teenagers mum she has told him not to do it, quite a few times and did tell him before half term that he wasn't to come round anymore but she works shifts so isn't always home and he's not listening to her. I've heard her argue with her daughter about it, so I know she's trying and she did make her daughter clean all the fag butts up a few weeks ago.

I know his first name and what school he's at (he's in uniform when he's stood out there) wibu to mention it to the school? is there even anything they could do? i know at my school we used to get detention if anyone saw us smoking in uniform.

They are HA flats and the housing officer is coming round on Wednesday anyway (routine check as I've been here a year) so i could mention it to them but that seems pointless as it would be the girlfriends mum that would get told off and, as i said, I know she is trying.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/06/2014 09:01

Why don't you politely ask the boy to stop doing it?

AnyFucker · 02/06/2014 09:02

Speak to the lad directly ?

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 09:04

What they just said ask him to move im sure he will

BrianTheMole · 02/06/2014 09:05

Speak to him directly.

claraschu · 02/06/2014 09:08

Put this picture on your door?

To think next door's teenager's boyfriend should bugger off and smoke somewhere else?
Original poster
Xihha · 02/06/2014 09:10

I have, as has the girls mum, he calls me a miserable old bag, moves to the railing at the top of the stairs a couple of feet away, which isn't much better, then next time he comes round hes by the door again.

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 02/06/2014 09:12

Put something in his way. A large planter...heavy.

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 09:14

Be a miserable old bag give him something to moan about just keep telling him, or put a fan on to blow the smoke away Grin I would mention it to the housing officer too

AnyFucker · 02/06/2014 09:16

Shoot him with a water pistol ? Smile

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2014 09:18

Oh yesdo that do you have a toddler with a super soaker

Original poster
Xihha · 02/06/2014 09:23

I have a 5 year old and a 9 year old, so yeah, I have a selection of water pistols. DS is a pretty good shot too so could probably soak the cigarette. Grin

A planters a good idea, that might make the hallway look a bit prettier too.

OP posts:
scouseontheinside · 02/06/2014 09:25

That is some cheek after you've spoken to him!

Bucket o' water out the window.

scouseontheinside · 02/06/2014 09:26

On a serious note, call the school. He's in uniform, it will definitely not be allowed.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 02/06/2014 09:41

Actually, if he's not on school property or outside the school, there is nothing the school can or would do. He's smoking in a public place, which is perfectly allowed. It's not like he's cooking meth or anything Smile

Original poster
Xihha · 02/06/2014 09:49

Oh really InSpace Sad I thought because hes in uniform they might, I know they can get in trouble for bad behaviour at the bus stop if they are in uniform, because of it damaging the schools reputation, and I know my school were quite hot on it 10 years ago.

OP posts:
Original poster
Xihha · 02/06/2014 09:50

plus he's only 14/15 so shouldn't be smoking anyway.

OP posts:
InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 02/06/2014 09:51

Yes but if he's 16 and not at or outside school then technically he's not doing anything wrong.

AnyFucker · 02/06/2014 09:52

Good luck with the "shouldn't be smoking anyway" Smile (although I agree)

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 02/06/2014 09:52

If he's underage then the school might be willing to have a word, but teenagers do tend to do what they like, don't they?

Original poster
Xihha · 02/06/2014 09:54

its 18 to buy cigarettes and he'd be year 11 if he was 16 wouldn't he? so he wouldn't have been in uniform during study leave.

OP posts:
Original poster
Xihha · 02/06/2014 09:57

Well yeah AnyFucker, it never worked when people said it to me as a teenager either but the detentions i got at least made me think about where I was smoking so no one would tell the school.

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 02/06/2014 09:58

We have a planter outside the communal entrance to our flats...it's a big one with plain ferns in it. They seem to thrive on neglect! Get something that won't need a lot of care.

5madthings · 02/06/2014 09:59

The school may well care and try and talk to him about it. Smoking in school uniform is not allowed, at my boys high school whilst in uniform they are representing the school and the school will tell them off for bad behaviour.

Anyway he is smoking somewhere he isn't allowed, in the hallway? To the flats? You mention no smoking signs so though he isn't in the flats he is in the building?

I think the kids and water pistols is a good idea.

AElfgifu · 02/06/2014 09:59

If he is in school uniform, the school should respond. Pragmatically, however, they may not have the time, staff, resources, etc to follow up every child smoking on the way to school.

sezamcgregor · 02/06/2014 10:07

If you've tried being polite about it and gotten no where, my approach would be to provide something for him to put the fag ends in so that they are in one place and easily disposed of rather than you having to pick them up and bin them.