AIBU to request a female doctor after the experience I had?

[charliexcy]

I had my first smear test at the age of 25 and it came back with severe cell change, CIN 3. A few weeks later, I went for a colposcopy, which was carried out by a female consultant who was very gentle with me and took a biopsy. Obviously, it wasn't a pleasant experience but I felt fine after and she was very understanding.

I was asked to attend for another colposcopy to have the CIN removed, this time with a male consultant. It couldn't have been more different to my previous experience. From the moment he put the clamp inside me, I felt this awful searing pain. He was quite careless when carrying out internal procedures and I just remember him roughly shoving loads of medical gauze inside of me, then putting his whole fist up there to pull it out, completely blood soaked. It was horrible and I was in pain the whole way through.

I burst into tears as soon as I climbed off of the chair. The nurses were lovely but he was completely uncaring, just said "oh, it's just because she's relieved it's over" while standing in the corner changing his gloves, not even looking at me. I was actually crying out of pain and distress. It took me a while to stop thinking about it and I was bleeding for 9 weeks after. This emotional reaction isn't normal for me. I have a high pain threshold and have never felt so awful after an internal examination before.

A letter came through this week asking me to attend another colposcopy for a 6 month check up - with the same male consultant. I don't want him anywhere near me again because he hurt me so much and was very rough.

AIBU if I phone up and request the female consultant I saw before, even though the male one seems to be handling my case and all correspondence is from him?

I went for a colopscopy apt some years ago, only to find out that it was meant to be with a male doctor.

I said that I'd rather a female, and they let me hang around in the waiting room until a woman doctor became available.

You should definitely ask for a female doctor and explain how distressed and in pain you were last time.

.

I phoned and asked. Receptionist said 'can I ask why?' in a bit of a funny tone. I explained the woman was more gentle and she got quite funny then. Said I was booked in with a different female and said 'well you've got dr x and she's lovely. They're ALL lovely.'

I felt like they closed ranks tbh. I doubt if I did a real complaint I'd get very far. She seemed shocked that I would ever suggest he wasn't gentle.

The male consultant sounds like a very arrogant chap. YANBU to ask for another consultant, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a female one. I'd certainly refuse to see him again.

Please don't take any notice of snotty nhs admin.

I'm speaking as one in a former life, and there's some funny buggers lurking in the back offices of the nhs. Some of them latch on to dr's because it makes them feel important or whatever, but it's all a bit skeezy and desperate in my experience.

If you do decide to speak to pals and perhaps make a complaint then include that woman in it. She had no right to probe your request, a simple yes or no would have been adequate. She may find all the doctors lovely over a cup of tea in the office, she doesn't get to dictate to patients what they aren't happy with.

For all she knows there are some deeply personal and upsetting reasons you requested a female, and just fobbed her off with an excuse when she questioned you.

It's actually made me quite angry that she thought she had the right to correct you - silly cow should have far more sensitivity working in sodding gynae of all places. Your not booking in for a haircut.

Just wanted to add that if you raised a complaint it wouldn't be dealt with by the same people who answer the phones - don't take her fucking awful attitude as an indication of how you'd be treated.

She was an unprofessional knob.

YANBU. Please consider making a complaint, and specifically requesting not to see that particular doctor.

The nurses in the room may have been hiding their emotions. He sounds awful.

Just read about your phone call. Yikes. Can you use a different doctor's office? Sounds like they're not very interesting in looking after patient's best interests.

YANBU. I had both and it was not painful but not enjoyable.

If you're uncomfortable before you even go in there, it's going to make the whole thing worse.

Bollocks to what the other nurses think, they're not the ones going through it.

Absolutely ask for another consultant and complain via PALS.

I recently had a male gynaecologist who was extremely caring and gentle more so than a female one I have had before but def request a female if this is something that makes you more comfortable.

I hope all goes well.