AIBU to think that actually, yes parents can be partly held responsible for this?

[realitygone]

There has been a very sad murder in the city I live in, the person murdered was very young and was brutally beaten and murdered by people who are much younger (teens) I grew up in the area and it has actually made me feel quite sick about what the world is coming to

I posted a link to the story and a tribute to the person on my Facebook page, with a comment that something needs to be done about this yob culture we seem to be living in. My friend replied that she knew the person and the families of the murderers and that the families were awful in the area, I replied saying that the parents need to have some responsibility for their children who have murdered someone as something has gone seriously wrong with their upbringing.

Well, someone I know from school commented saying parents can't be responsible as some kids just go off the rails and they have no control over them.

It started to decend into a bit of a back and forth where she believed she was 100% right in what she was saying, and also commented that the murderers families probably feel just as devastated as the victims family, I deleted the whole post when she put this as its a bit of an insult to compare the two.

so aibu to think she is wrong, parents do have responsibility for their children and their upbringing?

I do think a lot of these sort of cases are due to upbringing. In your area you tend to know certain families are trouble, where the rough areas are etc. That's not to say it the parents fault. As much as you can seek to nurture your child there will always be external influences, school friends, gangs, drug/alcohol clouding judgement. If up to that point you have a solid relationship with your child they are more likely to be confident enough not to deviate from social norms. At the end of the day they are people with their own minds and will decide for themselves who they want to be.

Please go and visit the teen section, I've posted on there numerous times under a different name. As I didn't want to be linked with it all the time.

You will read parents desperate for help In supporting there waywould teen.

How do you want these parents to show they are taking responsibility? How do you know they aren't?

Oh dear I'm on the fence. I've seen families where there's no discipline and it's no surprise when the kids go off the rails. On the other hand I've seen families of 2 or more children where the does seem to be discipline and they've all been parented the same yet one goes off the rails. I guess sometimes it's the parents' fault but not always.

bochead

that's one of the best posts I have read on here. Thank you for replying.

The lines fall at the feet of many, children and families are most definitely being failed by the system which is supposed to protect them. All of our sure start centres are being closed meaning parents have less places to go for help and advice.

Our social services are horrendously over stretched.

birds certain areas here havr been given curfews and police presence after a certain time due to the out of control kids hanging around. One area here it is the norm to see 5 / 6 year olds out at 10pm at night.

I posted a link to the story and a tribute to the person on my Facebook page

Why? To what point?

Why? Because it struck a cord with me, it made me feel sick to the stomach to what has become of the area.

Very very well said Bochead

I was completely different as a teen/young adult to my 3 DB'S raised in same house by same parents in exactly the same way. Won't go into detail but I was far from and angel.