To put in a death slide to get across the road?

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

I know, I know, I'm sure legally it's impossible, and safety-wise it's impractical, but we own a field that is across a back road. We have a balcony that looks out over it, and dh and I were discussing last night over a glass of wine, how much better this place would be with a death slide rigged up to get us over there.

We could wake up in the morning, walk onto the balcony and then woooosh we'd be in the middle of a meadow where a campfire would have tea already brewing in my dreams

What additions would you add to your house to make it that little bit better?

I always quite fancied a Tomb Raider style obstacle course to get to my front door. If the caller can get past the spike pits, swinging axes and lava moat, they are quite welcome to knock on the door (to be greeted with half a dozen trained dobermans, naturally). Might also stop next door's spawn kids playing knock-a-door-run too.

It would have to be key operated so me and the kids could get in, obviously.

Nice, Dwerf. I think the door should be opened by stepping on certain stones in your intricately mosaiced garden path.

Yes to Velcro walls! Dh thinks bedrooms should be ball pools, but I'm not convinced.

In the meantime I'm pondering on growing nettles along the boundary...

Will you charge 50p a go on the Death Slide at FYF?

I live across a valley from my parents, we've often talked about putting in some kind of cable-car system to pop over to each toher.

Alpaca, mners will get to ride free :)

I think it's practical. Even to the point of discussing winches and safety harnesses

Miaow, that was a good commute. But you'd get wet. I recommend death slides. Long ones, short ones, here there and everywhere.

I see no downsides.

I want bouncy floors, like the ones in the advert where they bounce bottles if beer to each other. It'd put a spring in my step as soon as I get up.
Oh and if my house was bigger I'd like a garden room with fake grass to play games in when it's raining.

If we can anything, then I would like a huge pair of wings on the sides of our house to transport us to anywhere we want to be in the world. So all our possessions and our own comfy beds can come with us. And free parking everywhere for houses.

I would also like another bedroom and a bit more garden.

When I was about 10 friends moved up to a huge house near Inverness. It had a massive garden. Across the top of the garden was a row of about 6 big trees.
The first tree had a ladder going up to a tree house. Then there was a rope bridge to the next one which had a platform, then a zip wire to the next one which had a tree house. There were further rope bridges to the final tree which had platform and rope ladder down.

Also the house over the road from where I grew up had a zip wire going from the tree in the front garden to the tree in the field behind the house.

I know someone who built a big death slide in their back garden. Great fun after a few drinks.

Eatshitderek You need one of these: metro.co.uk/2014/05/21/prepare-for-more-exciting-mornings-sliderider-will-turn-your-stairs-into-a-slide-4735117/

A front door that unlocks like a car, just push a button and it swings open.

A Shute to chuck washing laundry downstairs into kitchen by the washing machine. They have these in canada for real!

A lazy man lift to take stuff upstairs, like breakfast on a tray etc.

I don't have many stairs in my house, it's only two storeys.

Lazy man lift? I meant a dumb waiter! Wtf is a lazy man lift?!

I'll have a lazy man lift :o

What I'd really like is a transporter pod (with a fly zapper)

What's a death slide?

I think it sounds fun.

I'd love a sensory room, a treehouse and some privacy from being overlooked on all sides.

We often talk about putting up a zip wire from our house to a place we often go on the other side of the valley. A cable car might be safer, though.

It's a zip wire, although I am aware it can mean a steep slide

Like this

Treehouses and treetop paths would be brilliant too.