To feel bloody cursed...

[DancingtheTittyTango]

In last 15 months...

Had miscarriage at 14 weeks
D&C under GA
Beloved cat run down by car and killed
Numerous chest infections resulting in being on a nebuliser
Happily a second pregnancy but very ill, lost a lot of weight
Developed liver condition resulting in horrible itching and early induction
Failed induction resulting in traumatic C section
Readmission to hospital after developing spinal headache
Epidural blood patch to fix headache hitting a nerve and causing painful back spasms
Painful breastfeeding for 4 months solid
Client of 4 years decides to cancel contract while I'm on maternity leave leaving me jobless
Had retinoblastoma scare with DD resulting in lots of tears and stress, thankfully all ok
Put my back out 3 times in 4 months
Had severe heart palputations and racing heart which now needs investigating at hospital
Developed a liver cyst during pregnancy and its still there 3 months later but the hospital lost the measurements so I have to wait another 3 months to compare
Husbands office deciding to close leaving us with the possibility of him being made redundant
Numerous illnesses and sick children
Currently have chest infection and conjunctivitis so feeling rather miserable!

I know I'm wallowing but it feels like its one thing after another. My one sunbeam is my lovely DD but she is very much hard work and some days I just feel physically and mentally exhausted (also have a 3 year old and 5 year old)

The last 15 months or so has drained me of every resource and my health is now suffering :(

Bloody hell. Thats about five lifetimes worth of crapness. No wonder you are feeling the way you are. Its perfectly normal given all youve been through.
Wallow away! Youre bloody well entitled to!

No wonder you are fed up, you must be so drained and exhausted. But...no, you aren't cursed. Look at your beautiful children, and remember how very lucky you are. Think of how much worse things could be, for example if your child's health scare really had turned out to be retinablastoma. Remember the good things and tell yourself that you are blessed not cursed. So sorry you are going through such a horrible time though.

Thank you for the support! I just feel like a walking disaster. There have been lots of other little things along the way too, it's like everything is a constant drama and I hate drama! I love a nice quiet life.

You are both right though my beautiful children (and lovely husband) have kept me going. I just feel so bad when my 3 year old comes up to me and asks why I'm sad or crying. Mummy being poorly seems to be a constant state of affairs at the moment for them. I'm so frustrated with myself, just want to get back to being normal!

and after all of that you are still here :)

i tend to try to look at things differently

Mommy is so right.
How strong are YOU? To have weathered all that? You have a massive amount of strength that has seen you through.

I'm sorry for all you have gone through. That is an awful lot. I had a couple of years like this 3 years ago. It nearly broke me, but as suddenly as it started. It stopped. And everything was calm again.

You have done so well getting through it all and you are still standing. The end is in sight I'm sure.

going through a similar life here you have my sympathies everything hits you then a respite then BOOM got you again (just when you're feeling positive about things) its shit but you're strong enough to cope with is you have been coping with it

at the moment ive a great idea for a business im so terrified i will fail i get chest pains just thinking about it and im not going to bother doing it because the thought of more stress is just too much! pathetic isn't it

you will get better things will be fine one day you will look back and wonder how the hell you managed but you have and you will xx