Good manners or am I anal?

[MrsPatrickDempsey]

Is it me or is it the norm these days that people just don't acknowledge or say thank you for gifts? I have 3 nephews and nieces all in their teens - they are my husbands side of family. We are not especially close so I don't have much clue regarding their likes/dislikes so I always send a voucher or money for birthdays. Never get a thank you or acknowledgement. I actually suspended gift giving for this reason a couple if years ago but felt guilty that they sent my two children a gift one year. (Mind you - they don't regularly remember birthdays. Don't expect gifts -btw).

Are my expectations too high? I don't expect a 3 page letter; a face book message would be fine. Do I ignore or send a 'worried about the reliability of the post - did you get it - email'?

Every year I sent cards and money to my now adult nieces and nephew for Christmas and birthdays. Never received a single thank you so stopped sending anything last year. It's their loss if they can't be bothered to say a quick thank you.

I found thank-you letter writing to be such a godawful chore when I was little that I haven't inflicted it upon my children; however they are taught to say thank you for any gifts they receive, either in person or via Skype or the telephone.

What I mostly do though, is video them opening their presents, tell them who they are from and then get them to say thank you on video, which can then be sent to the relevant people. The problems of living overseas from family!

I suspect that youngsters imagine they have to send a whole three pager telling about eg their holidays and how they're doing at school as well as a thankyou. In reality, a text or email saying 'Thanks for my X' is probably sufficient these days. (And when I think how many texts they send daily............)

Refuse to let mine do a thank you by text or Facebook. Every Christmas they write a thank you to people who have given them gifts. They are now 23,21 and 12 and still do it. Nowadays they divide the pile of thank you cards up and each write a message and then the other two sign it.
Just not acceptable not to send thank yous.
Interestingly, at work we just hosted a dinner for several guests and recieved only two thank yous. One an email, one a hand written note. Both were from military personnel. Do they have good manners drummed into them as part of their training?

I agree; however, I don't think it is necessary to write a thank-you note for a present when you receive it and thank the giver in person.

YANBU. I recall hating writing thank you letters. My mum would write them out and I would copy them. However now i understand why she did it. As an adult I am annoyed not to ever have had any acknowledgement of gifts sent to teenage nieces and nephews. I too blame the parents.

My mother still nags reminds me to send thank you notes and I'm nearly 40!