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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Glaring at someone with a crying baby in a baby friendly performance

47 replies

CruCru · 30/05/2014 20:16

I recently went to a baby friendly performance at my local children's theatre (usually the kids have to be 3+). When the lights went out, DD (7 mo) and a lot of other kids started crying.

The man in front kept turning round to glare at me whenever DD made any noise. In the end we left after ten minutes (the staff said babies were allowed to make noise in the baby friendly performance but she wasn't having that much fun).

There wasn't anywhere else to sit as the performance was fully booked. AIBU to think that, if you don't want babies to be there, you should avoid the baby friendly performance?

OP posts:
dietcokefan · 30/05/2014 20:20

Hmmm. I'd say that in a baby friendly performance you should expect general fidgeting, giggling, whispering and maybe brief crying. If my child cried and didn't stop after a few minutes I'd take them out.

AElfgifu · 30/05/2014 20:21

Hopefully he wasn't glaring. When babies cry a lot, I quite often try to catch the mum's eye and smile, but if she is avoiding eye contact, it might come across as a glare.

TruJay · 30/05/2014 20:22

Definitely, what did they expect at such a performance. The clue is in the wording really, "baby friendly".
I'd have told him where to go everytime he turned around!

when we take DS and DD to the kids showing at the cinema, I'm always walking in and out with DD as she's only 6 months so i just give her a change of scenery if she gets antsy but by choice not because some idiot who pretends his own children never did it tuts at me!

onetiredmummy · 30/05/2014 20:23

It depends on the kind of noise she was making cru.

If it wasn't that bad then yanbu but if it was sustained & was spoiling the performance that other had paid for then I'd have left.

Original poster
CruCru · 30/05/2014 20:23

Well he wasn't looking round to be nice.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 30/05/2014 20:24

I don't think family friendly means anything goes. If a child is crying and doesn't stop after a few moments then you'd hope the parents would take her/him out. I can't see the point of taking a baby to a theatre.

TruJay · 30/05/2014 20:24

But yeh like diet coke says if DD was howling the place down i'd take her outside to settle her but babbling, laughing, shouting, talking etc is all to be expected.

Original poster
CruCru · 30/05/2014 20:24

The noise wasn't dreadful but she wasn't having fun so we left after ten minutes.

OP posts:
pianodoodle · 30/05/2014 20:25

When the lights went out, DD (7 mo) and a lot of other kids started crying.

That sounds grim Grin

However - YANBU did he think the babies would be quietly reading their programmes and clapping politely at the end?

DanaBarrett · 30/05/2014 20:29

I used to love the baby showings at the cinema as I figured it would be my turn next when baby's started to cry! If it said baby friendly then he WBU!

I had a great time in the paediatric surgical day unit yesterday when the drug mix turned my 18mo into a cross between a Tazmanian Devil and a howling banshee! The couple with the kid in the next bed exchanging foul looks every minute or so, plus rolling of eye ect., while I tried to stop her eating the nurses!

MistressDeeCee · 30/05/2014 21:23

YANBU. Its horrible to actually turn around and stare at a mum every time her baby makes a sound. Its an aim to intimidate. Im quite sure most mums would take their crying baby out and wouldn't need the hard stare. Especially in a baby-friendly performance. Then again I find it pretty easy to screen out babies' crying. I don't much like the way a baby's cry tends to cue much intolerant eyerolling. There are far worse noises than that to get the rage about but I think its acceptable here to actually voice & show displeasure about it

mercibucket · 30/05/2014 21:36

What on earth does 'baby friendly' mean in this context? Who takes a baby to the theatre? Who thinks turning lights off is going to be friendly to babies? Baffled on all counts

Unexpected · 30/05/2014 22:06

I think "baby-friendly" just means things like being actually encouraged to bring small children who mightn't usually be allowed and the sound is usually turned down from the normal levels. Having said that, I thought part of the adjustments for these performances also meant that the lights were only dimmed and not reduced to the levels usual for the performance. That way it's less likely to disturb the babies and easier and safer for adults to leave with them if necessary.

Hissy · 30/05/2014 22:10

I went to see films with baby DS. The Electric Scream it was called, in Portobello. Some of the films had subtitles in case there were crying babies.

Krishnan Guru-wotsit was in there once, moaning about the noise..

Erm... the clue was there matey!

Ignore, the glaring fool can always leave/move if they want to.

Joules68 · 30/05/2014 22:49

Was it advertised as 'baby friendly'? I've never seen that wording used..

AllAboveBroad · 30/05/2014 22:56

Isn't this rather like the "family friendly" restaurant debates? Yes, children are accommodated for but that doesn't mean consideration for others is left at the door. Consistent crying would irritate, although he was rude to glare. You did right in taking your DD out OP, especially as she wasn't having fun.

mercibucket · 30/05/2014 22:56

Just googled and found this

Baby Friendly performances (where all ages are admitted) are provided for many productions. These are intended for the convenience of families who have children of the recommended age and also have babies or younger children. The performance is not adapted. Babies under one are admitted free

So performance is not suitable or adapted but they let you bring a babe in arms to accompany an older child

I would expect babies to be fairly unnoticeable (no screaming etc) tbh

wobblyweebles · 31/05/2014 02:06

Well... if my baby was crying I would take him/her outside rather than disturb everyone. People are still there to see the show. I just wouldn't be so stressed if say my toddler kept wandering around or occasionally chatting.

I imagine the guy felt the same way...

80sMum · 31/05/2014 02:11

Ten minutes is quite a long time to be sitting in front of a crying baby in a theatre.

Sleepysheepsleeping · 31/05/2014 02:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sleepysheepsleeping · 31/05/2014 02:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 31/05/2014 07:18

why shouldn't you take a baby to the theatre? it's a good idea imo, an opportunity to do something you wouldn't usually be able to do with a small child...

anyway, I agree with you OP - you did the right thing by leaving if she wasn't enjoying herself but he was being an arse.

Original poster
CruCru · 31/05/2014 10:07

I also had my 2.5 year old DS and my nanny. So when I left, DS stayed with the nanny.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 31/05/2014 10:28

It's just manners to take outside a crying baby surely? I too would have been glaring at you

pebblyshit · 31/05/2014 10:33

I would expect baby friendly to mean adults may be getting up and down during the performance to take babies in and out and there may be a bit more disturbance than normal, noise and arising about with bottles etc. not babies aren't expected to go out if they cry for ten minutes.

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