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Original poster

Help settle X box disagreement between DS and me

28 replies

AElfgifu · 30/05/2014 20:15

My son has asked me to start this thread!

He is 14, and has an X box. I let him play some 15 and 16 rated games. I'm not keen on anything resembling modern warfare, as I don't really think it is suitable to use such scenarios as entertainment when so many people have fought and died in Afghanistan and Iraq in recent years. So these are banned. I don't mind the fantasy zombie/ robot ones quite so much. I also ban anything rated 18, or anything too gory.

I ban 18 rated games, and ask him to record how long he spends playing, and make a sensible judgement about limiting himself.

Of course, in his opinion I am the strictest mother that has ever lived, and everyone else in his class is allowed to play anything!

( he has just added that most primary school children he knows watch 18 films and play 18 rated games!)

Which of us is right?

OP posts:
Doshusallie · 30/05/2014 20:16

Do you really need to ask?

I totally agree with you.

Original poster
AElfgifu · 30/05/2014 20:18

Thank you Doshusallie!

OP posts:
popmimiboo · 30/05/2014 20:24

Same here. DS is 14, def no 18 rated films or xbox games.

He snuck a COD one in once, borrowed from a friend. When I found it, he was banned from xbox for a week and the xbox was brought downstairs. It's back in his room now but he's admitted defeat and sticks to Need for Speed and FIFA.

Bluestocking · 30/05/2014 20:25

Of course you are right!
Having said that, I know that my Year 5 DS has classmates who are allowed to play Black Ops and the like, mainly because they have older siblings, I think. He has managed to browbeat me into letting him have Halo which is a 16 but I don't mind it too much because it's not explicit violence. He certainly isn't allowed any 18s. But then, I probably rival you as the other strictest mother who ever lived!

Fairenuff · 30/05/2014 20:28

Ds is 14 - no 18 games here. He will be 15 in a few weeks and still won't be allowed 18 games.

Original poster
AElfgifu · 30/05/2014 20:32

Thank you Popmimiboo, Bluestocking and Fairenuff. DS is watching this with interest!

OP posts:
queenofthepirates · 30/05/2014 20:33

Course not, I still can't swim in deep water because my parents let me see Jaws at an early age.

Scarred for life I tell you.

HicDraconis · 30/05/2014 20:35

You can't be the strictest mother that ever lived because apparently I am. Everyone else is allowed to play on iPads and computers for as long as they want and only my children have screen time restrictions. They're primary school age and don't play 16 or 18 rated games.

Was embarrassing when DS2 (6) recognised a pic of Florence in a book at school and said "that's Florence - it looks like that in Assassin's Creed".. Much explaining that DH also likes games and only allowed the boys to watch the walking around cities bits. All games over pegi12 are now banned until boys in bed!

YANBU - I doubt your DS will get any supporters from this thread!

mercibucket · 30/05/2014 20:35

He is right - most primary boys here have COD and other 18 rated games
Up to you what your rules are

OwlCapone · 30/05/2014 20:36

My DS1 is 15, DS2 is 13. They are only allowed games rated 16 and are not allowed to play Xbox during the week.

Mabelface · 30/05/2014 20:36

You're right, because you're his mother and these are your rules, and you don't give a stuff about what other parents allow/disallow.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 30/05/2014 20:37

No 18 cert games til working and able to buy them.

ILikeWarmHugs · 30/05/2014 20:38

He is partially right in that some (not most) primary aged children are allowed to play 18 rated games. That doesn't make it right though.

You are doing the right thing by protecting him. My DC is very little still but I will be joining the ranks of 'strictest mum that has ever lived' when my time comes.

sunbathe · 30/05/2014 20:38

Unlimited screen time here.
Age restrictions strictly applied.

karalime · 30/05/2014 20:39

I think you're right. I'm a gamer and it annoys me no end when people complain about how violent video games are damaging children when they all have age ratings, reviews and screenshots easily available. They are not for children, they are for adults. When he is an adult with a job he can buy all the games he wants.

Still, video games aren't rocket science so if you get the chance I would recommend having a go yourself. That way you know exactly what they contain and your kids can't lie about not being able to save yet.

Pooka · 30/05/2014 20:40

I have primary aged dcs, including one in year 6. No to the 18 films and xbox games.

Yes, some kids do play ridiculously inappropriate games when they're younger (call of duty for a 7 year old in dd's class a few years ago??!!)

But they're not my children, and I am not their parent. And there seemed to be a correlation between general misbehaving at school, bing in trouble or the "naughty" kid, and that child being the one watching things that were far too old for them for it to be good for them.

FunkyBoldRibena · 30/05/2014 20:46

I say enjoy that period of innocence young man. You will soon enough be 18 and able to do what you want [well, that's what they tell you]. Enjoy it whilst you still can and be grateful you have a mother that gives a shit.

MrsTaraPlumbing · 30/05/2014 20:47

Your son is right - in as much that there will be a number of kids who were allowed to play and watch anything, every since primary school, in his class.
But that is not the sort of family he lives in - he is lucky.

My son is 12 and we are similarly as strict.
His dad has bought and played one 16 rated game with him - the same game and they have played it many years much to my disapproval. It is a warfare game.

Films - at rare times my son has seen 15 rated films but after I have checked them out and we discuss them (Troy and 300 - relevant to discussions we have had about Ancient & Classical Greece (History).
These films were rated for violence but I have felt it appropriate to the film. People are violent with a bloody history.

I would not generally want him (even if he were 14 of 15) to be watching/playing mindless films /games that had a lot of the content that has given them those 18 certificates.

Also computer game time is limited in our house. I have become aware though that in other peoples homes kids are playing with technology into the early hours - perhaps without their parents realising.

drivingmisslazy · 30/05/2014 20:53

DS14 does not have any 18 games, and only in the last year let him have 15 games.

Limited xbox time to 2 hours a night, and 3 hours at the weekend.

I am sure he is right and the majority of his friends watch and play 18 games, but I don't what they do in their house, my house my rules.

Preciousbane · 30/05/2014 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecretNutellaFix · 30/05/2014 21:15

When he is 18, earning his own cash and has his own place he can play all the 18 rated games he wants.

Until then, you make the rules.

PrincessBabyCat · 30/05/2014 21:42

You're the parent. He is the child. When he is the adult he can make his own rules.

On a personal note though, I really haven't seen video games make kids violent. The majority of teens I know that play violent games are pretty chill. I'm sure at 14 he can understand that actually shooting someone is bad.

However, the my 14 year old would not be caught dead with the cesspool that is xbox live, especially the COD fans. The place is full of kids hopped up on mountain dew who have just learned to swear for the first time (which means every other word is fuck). There's racist jokes, the N-word gets dropped constantly, and don't even get me started on the sexism and rape jokes. I would not trust my 14 year old to not join in his friends and online strangers in an insult match to look cool while I was out of the house.

So, if he did play MA games, I wouldn't let him do it on xbox live, which would defeat the purpose of most of those games. The community is terrible and your son should not be around kids that think verbal abuse and bullying is funny and ok. That will affect him more than the violence will.

mercibucket · 30/05/2014 21:49

love the idea of 'hopped up on mountain dew' Grin
my experience of cod online is different. kids just play with friends or play online with mute.
xbox is good at banning abusive texters
it has been good to help them learn how to play 'live' rather than just let them loose at x/y/z age - they do need guidance

soaccidentprone · 30/05/2014 22:00

We let ds2 (age 12) have 2 hours a day screen time. He is allowed to play games up to age 12.

Ds1 is now 18, but we employed the same rules to him, until he was 17.

But we are really mean parents too Grin

And we are also mean about food. We don't let ds2 have cola (and the same with ds1 until he was about 15) or unlimited sweets, chocolate, biscuits etc. also it is very rare that ds2 isn't in bed by 9.

On the other hand, we let ds1 and his gf go to London for the day, on the coach when they were 15 (nearly 16).

CaffeinatedKitten · 30/05/2014 22:03

We only have four xbox games. Apparently I am mean because I will not fund their need to expand their library. However at 11 and 6 I feel that minecraft, skylanders and some random lego game is more than enough. They keep muttering about saving up for other games, but then get rather reluctant to part with any cash for new games. Thrifty children I have. Must be genetic:o