Am I being unreasonably sensitive about this parent reading assistant

[Itsjustmeagain]

I am willing to be told I'm being sensitive and paranoid!

My son is 7 and has struggled with his reading so a helper reads with him at school. Just before half term I was in the park with my children chatting to another mum and the helper came up to us, introduced herself and started chatting about how wonderful my son was BUT how she can see why I never have time to read with him since I have so many children (we have 5) and I'm apparently always at work. It's hard to put a tone into this post but the tone was really critical and she detailed a lot of his problems in front of the other mum.

To clarify I do read with him.

Then just before they broke up he was running ahead on the way home and I saw her stop to talk to him and apparently asking him which house he lived at etc.

I know this sounds petty and silly written down and I'm not really the type to be upset by this sort of thing easily but there's something I just feel really uncomfortable about!. On the one hand I am really grateful she gives her time to the school on the other I just feel like she is overstepping a mark!

AIBU to be upset by this?

I think you're being defensive and a bit paranoid. What's she going to do, stalk you?

But, I would talk to the school about what their confidentiality training involves when using parent helpers.

OK, it does sound petty.

BUT she is in a position of trust and has most definitely broken the confidentiality agreement she, and everyone else in a school, must abide by.

Do have a word with a teacher, find out who the safeguarding officer is and tell them. They MUST repeat/strengthen their training and procedures.

They won't think it stupid, they will take it seriously. She will be re-trained or asked not to read any more, if she doesn't get it!

Inappropriate. Tell the school. Would seriously have pissed me off.

YANBU. It's not petty at all. She is a volunteer and has no right to be reporting back any 'concerns' not does she have the right to chat about him to you in that way. She sounds rather unpleasant.

99% of volunteers at schools are lovely people, but there's a small percentage of nosey parkers who use it to feel important. This same percentage can sometimes get a bit confused about their overall role in the classroom too and feel its their place to give other parents feedback. It really is not. I too would have a word with the class teacher.

TBH, teachers are usually pretty good judges of character and I bet your DS class teacher is dying for someone to complain so she can kick this interfering, self-important PITA into touch...

She was way out of line, mention it at school.

I'd be bloody cross, nosey mare!

YANBU. We had a comment written in the reading record by another mum that I felt was highly inappropriate and flagged it to the teacher. She also didn't think it was appropriate and Had Words with the person.

Out of line, I agree. The only acceptable comment would have been "I get to read with your lovely boy at school, I enjoy him very much."

YANBU. She should not be making personal comments outside of school about his home life or academic progress and especially not to other parents. She isn't a teacher and therefore won't have access to the same records about the children she reads with: you could be working every hour under the sun due to a bereavement for all she knows. I'd complain to his form tutor. She lacks judgement.

You are not being petty AT ALL. She is overstepping a mark and is most probably unaware of this.

You do need to see the teacher. Maybe put something in writing and cc the HT. This is because HT will follow it up. Teacher less likely to do anything other than apologise.

This needs action.

Definitely unprofessional - a 'Hello XXX, are you having a nice time, bye-bye' type conversation, when approached by the child in the park would suffice. It is not right to approach the child. Certainly not right to talk about anything to do with school (other than 'he said hello, because I sometimes read with him at school').

Tell the HT - she needs training for herself and the children's sake.

Definitely overstepped a mark by making negative assumptions based on your personal circumstances. As a lone parent I've occasionally had cause to complain about similar, incorrect assumptions down the years. It's impertinent and inappropriate.

We had a volunteer like this. She lived in the community and was training to be an Early Years Practitioner so she volunteered as a TA in the school to get experience and bump up her CV.

She continually stuck her beak in where it was not wanted, at the end of the session the Head Teacher gently suggested she didn't come back in the new term (several parents had complained about her)

Recently she and another parent at the school have got into a Facebook slanging match. I think we dodged a bullet as she was almost taken on as a paid employee.

Thanks for all the replies, I am going to talk with the teacher about it when they go back. I wont complain as such just mention it if that makes sense. Its not so much the fact that its a breach of privacy that upset me I think it was just that I feel like I was doing ok with the 5 children and working full time and its just upset me a bit.

I am now part time (not because of this just a coincidence) and so she will be seeing much more of me in the playground!

I think you're being a bit over the top. Asking your DS where he lives if standing on your own street is surely just casual
conversation? Or is there something I'm missing.

We no longer have parent volunteers at the school for this very reason.

I volunteered for a school project with a group of 10 year olds and was told anything you heard stayed in school. And it did. [zipped mouth emoticon]