"That Annie girl" - Grrrrrrrr!

[PacificDogwood]

Said repeatedly in an important meeting at work today wrt to a senior lawyer who was seen to not work quite quickly enough.

"That Annie girl has still not submitted the papers"
That Annie girl seems to be a bit slow off the mark"
"The whole project is being held back by that Annie girl"
All said by the same (male) individual who needed to shift responsibility away from himself for the protracted cock-up we were discussing.

I find this disrespectful, belittling, misogynistic and rude. AIBU?

She was not present so could not defend herself.
She is a senior lawyer within a national institution so presumably not a 'girl' any more.
None of us present know her personally, we are all frustrated by lack of progress of the project in question, but she has a last name we are all familiar with. Or even the 'mature' version of her name: Anne (it's not Anne or Annie of course)

Did I speak up?
Nope.
Did I seethe quietly?
Yep.

How would have handled this?

Spoken up. Do it. It's liberating. Sometimes gets you the sack though...

"her name is Anne XXX, and she is a woman not a girl."

said quietly but clearly once, would make the point, and hopefully not get you the sack!

I would have said 'Do you mean Ms/Mrs/Miss (and whatever her surname is) That said, hindsight is a lovely thing isn't it

Ha! I am unsackable

I should've done.
Crap.

He is such a wide boy and we are so dependent on him

Yep.

Not my bravest hour.
There will be more meetings with him.

I'd probably have been sarky and said well, I hear that Bobbie boy (insert name of a relevant bloke) needed to do X, Y, Z / I can give that Markie boy a call and see about... shall I copy that Petey boy into that conversation...

until they got the message.

You are unsackable! You have no excuse!

You have no excuse!
No, I don't.
Other than being too damn slow to think of something to say that would not have derailed the meeting

Hecate, that would not have worked as he is known as 'Mikey'

Well that's just damned inconsiderate of him.

If it's coupled with "...boy" then you'll make your point.

That's me to a tee Pacific - have enough retorts after the crucial event. Don't worry though - it sounds like you'll have your chance in time to come. Just make it soon.

Man sounds like a resentful dickhead.

You are a GP aren't you Pacific? Unless I've got you mixed up with a similar username, which may be possible (I've had wine tonight!)

I am in a GP partnership of 8 and the older male GPs are a nightmare for this, but I've started speaking up and things are slowly improving. A lot of it is not meant to be offensive or derogatory (although it comes across that way)and is just a byproduct or their upbringing. A lot of medicine is one big Old Boys Club (orthopaedics especially) and it takes time for attitudes to change.

I feel your frustration though. It's hard to always be the one to speak up and make what can sometimes seem like a minor or petty point. I go too much the other way and don't know when to shut up!

YANBU its pretty calculated to minimise, to undermine her
the name is deliberately changed to the most infantilized form
and girl added for effect - and 'that' eg hes not even sure of her name, shes so unimportant. Classic verbal microaggression

Be ready for him next time - lean across table, eye contact and say
'Sweetie, her name is xxxx xxxx'
gets the point across and highlights the absurdity

(have done similar in the past. Luckily my name doesnt shorten)

Serious, yes, I am, but it was not a colleague (they are thankfully a huge bit more enlightened).
I don't think I could work day in, day out with somebody like that.

Didactylos, 'verbal microaggression' - thanks for that, I did not even know that there was an actual word for what he was doing. It somehow validates my feeling against it that somebody bothered to find a name for it IYKWIM.