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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want a television in my hospital ward?

94 replies

carlajean · 29/05/2014 17:31

just thought I'd throw this one in and see what others think..
I was in hospital to have my appendix out a week ago. I was really pleased with the care, but there was a tv in the four-bed ward. One of the other patients liked having it on all the time, as background, but I hate having tv on unless I'm watching it. So, Jeremy Kyle was on when I was waiting to go into surgery, and feeling too poorly to object.
When I came out, I said to the other woman that perhaps we could have the tv off for a couple of hours, alternating with having it on for the same period of time. I wasn't feeling brilliant about doing it, and she was quite stroppy.
I know that I could have asked a nurse to turn it off, but wanted to be on good terms with the other patients in the ward.
I feel that patients shouldn't be under pressure to have to negotiate this with each other (one of the other patients was an older woman who said afterwards to me that she didn't want the TV on but didn't feel she could object) AIBU?

OP posts:

Mignonette · 29/05/2014 17:58

The OP has been accused of treating the hospital like a hotel.

I would say that people who expect to watch TV and think it is perfectly reasonable for this patient to disturb others with it are the ones who treat a hospital as a hotel.

IME TVs and other noisy ward events cause far more problems than they solve.

yourlittlesecret · 29/05/2014 17:59

I felt the same years ago when I was in hospital . It's the volume and the banal stuff they have on.
I hate tv as background even at home and for that reason I have some lovely noise cancelling headphones which keep everyone happy.

corduroybear · 29/05/2014 17:59

YANBU AT ALL!!

Watching TV is not necessary. It's generally mindless junk, particularly during the day.

The OP's desire not to watch TV is equally valid as someone else's desire to watch it.

Next time OP, ask the nurses to turn it off. Who cares what everyone else thinks of you?

ToysRLuv · 29/05/2014 17:59

Y Y, Mignonette.

unrealhousewife · 29/05/2014 18:02

YANBU.

Especially if it disturbs sleep.

I stayed on a children's ward recently with dd and nobody could sleep because a couple of children "can't get to sleep without it" and their bright spark IT people had bought in TVs without headphone sockets.

I was treated like an upstart for asking for silence.

Andrewofgg · 29/05/2014 18:03

YANBU. If headphones can't be arranged, peace and quiet must prevail. It's a bloody hospital. Sorry, but the same for the patient who found that earphones hurt her ears. JTB.

cantbelievethisishppening · 29/05/2014 18:08

YANBU. I feel your frustration, had to listen to hours and hours of loud, crap TV when my daughter was in hospital for two weeks. It drove me nuts. That said, I guess it is inevitable there will be problems.

gertiegusset · 29/05/2014 18:12

So some children can't get to sleep without the telly and other children can't sleep because it's on.
Whaddya do?
Turn it off.

OwlCapone · 29/05/2014 18:13

The OP's desire not to watch TV is equally valid as someone else's desire to watch it.

So you negotiate between yourselves. No one has the right to insist.

Andrewofgg · 29/05/2014 18:14

a couple of children "can't get to sleep without it"

And how did they get to be like that?

Janethegirl · 29/05/2014 18:15

YANBU take a small screwdriver with you next time and when no one is looking, remove the fuse. It'll take them ages to work it out and in the meantime you get peace :)

BackforGood · 29/05/2014 18:19

YAdefinitely N BU
As someone else said, if the hospital hasn't got the facility for individual bedside TVs, with ear phones, then they should not be in the hospital - very intrusive when presumably you weren't feeling that well.

Aspiringhuman · 29/05/2014 18:21

owl the OP did try and negotiate. She proposed 2 hrs on 2 hrs off but the other lady insisted it stayed on.

At our local hospital it's individual TVs that can only be heard via head phones. They cost £10 for 4 hrs of TV and the timer counts down from activation whether it's on or not.

rembrandtsrockchick · 29/05/2014 18:28

I have not had a TV for 30 years. The thought of being trapped in a hospital ward with non stop TV is just bloody awful.

Mignonette · 29/05/2014 18:31

Actually one right does trump another. Hospitals are places for sick people and if a TV disturbs the sleep or recuperation (or dying) of a single patient then that most definitely trumps the right of anybody to watch it.

Nobody ever needed TV to recover (if they did we'd all have died without it before TV's were introduced into healthcare facilities) and if you are bored enough to need TV to pass the time then you have the capacity to wear headphones.

unrealhousewife · 29/05/2014 18:33

One of them was a lumbering teenage asthmatic, a regular apparently. The other was a teeny frail little girl who couldn't cope without her programme.

Dd had the education room and team to herself for the week though!

BackforGood · 29/05/2014 18:46

Totally agree with Mignonette

TunipTheUnconquerable · 29/05/2014 18:53

YANBU. Agree totally with Mignonette.
Sounds hellish and the other patients were selfish to not be prepared to compromise.

TattyDevine · 29/05/2014 18:55

Oh I can't feel terribly strongly about this one I'm afraid.

When I was in the hospital everyone had their own small one that you could put in front of you and the volume wasn't terribly loud even on maximum and it was just another background sound of the ward.

This was a maternity ward though, so there were other sounds like babies crying, visitors, midwives who talk at the same level regardless of whether it is day or night, snoring, breast pumps, etc.

It was kind of the least of your worries really.

My husband had an op privately recently but decided to have it at the NHS hospital rather than wait a few extra weeks for a theatre slot to become available at our private one. He got the full NHS experience in the ward which included a nutter on one side of him (there's one on every ward and if you can't find them, its you!) and a bloke on the other side who had a knee operation and needed a poo so they wheeled out a commode and my husband could hear and smell everything on the other side of the curtain etc

Twas character building

Hope you are on the mend OP

whois · 29/05/2014 18:58

They cost £10 for 4 hrs of TV and the timer counts down from activation whether it's on or not

£10 for FOUR HOURS?!?

That is redic!

hazeyjane · 29/05/2014 19:01

I'm afraid ds is one of those children who can't sleep unless the tv is on when he is in hospital, he would go to sleep if I pushed him round the ward in his buggy (which I did for several hours one night), but it is not guaranteed and not possible if he is having oxygen.

The tv is always on very low though, I hope it doesn't bother anyone.

LaurieFairyCake · 29/05/2014 19:01

Yanbu

I hate the tv as background noise and I'd particularly hate it if I was ill

You offered a perfect compromise where you could have taken it in turns to have what you want

I hate the fact people think it's ok to inflict their noise on others whether it's their iPods or gadgets or tv's. I was on a commute train recently where half a dozen of us had a row with some twat listening to South Park at 8 am loudly with no headphones. He eventually turned it off when we said we would all take it off him and chuck it out the window.

gertiegusset · 29/05/2014 19:02

It's not character building if you are old and frail and frightened and need quiet and can't go home because you are ill.

Why couldn't the knee OP man be wheeled to the loo?
It must have been pretty embarrassing for him too.

He could sit on the commode and be wheeled to the loo before using it, I used to do that for my Mother.

EasyWhiteChocolate · 29/05/2014 19:02

Oh I apologise OP - I have reread the OP and thread and realised that you're not talking about the personal ones in front of the bed. In the case, I take back my YABU!

shouldnthavesaid · 29/05/2014 19:02

It shouldn't need to be on all the time, and most longer stay wards should have access to a tv/day room though finding a space to even stand in them is usually a nightmare in my local.

Most of the wards in local are now done with individual tv/headphone thing which helps, but some are still with day rooms only. "Day" surgery wards are a good example of the latter - when I had a spinal I couldn't move, was wide awake but couldn't do anything short of stare at the ceiling from 12 noon til 6pm, at 6 they put me on a larger bed and let me use my phone/read a magazine. When you're so sore that you can't sleep, TV can be a welcome distraction.

Helps bonding as well, I had a lovely afternoon with ward mates once watching Hugh Grant films on TV..

I would have asked the nurses if at least the sound could be lowered. At the very least it should be off during meals and when doctors are doing rounds.

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