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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you shouldn't breastfeed in a swimming pool

539 replies

HappierThanEverBefore · 28/05/2014 20:13

Went swimming today & as I was walking to the steps there was a lady sitting on them breastfeeding.

I carried on as if nothing was wrong but the mentioned it to the life guard as I walked out. The lady looked disgusted that she was told to stop or carry on else where

AIBU to think it's wrong to breastfeed in the swimming pool

OP posts:
Icimoi · 29/05/2014 15:55

shanghidawn, I've thought long and hard about what might be an appropriate place to take a baby which is also an inappropriate place to breastfeed them, but I have to confess that I can't think of anywhere. Yes, there are one or two circumstances when it would be impractical, e.g. on a massively crowded tube train where you can't find room, but that's hardly the same thing - it doesn't make a train inappropriate in general.

You say you can think of examples, so please could you share them?

Igggi · 29/05/2014 16:00

Superfly, you're talking about an entirely different type of steps - the more traditional type - lots of pools have a sort of shallow area with wide steps going into them. So none of your points about squeezing past someone on tiny steps really apply. That type would be incredibly uncomfortable to sit on to feed anyway!

ExBrightonBell · 29/05/2014 16:03

SuperFlyHigh, the OP says that the steps were about 2 metres wide, so we're not talking about the usual kind of metal rung steps to get in and out of the pool.

I massively doubt that anyone, let alone a breastfeeding mum, would sit on those kinds of metal steps. I would never think to sit on steps like that and feed as it would be very dangerous. I wouldn't think twice about sitting on wide shallow steps to feed if I needed to. It wouldn't be dangerous and it wouldn't get in anyone else's way.

BeCool · 29/05/2014 16:05

Superfly, surely the 'steps' you are describing are otherwise called a ladder/pool ladder?

ILoveCoreyHaim · 29/05/2014 16:08

I FF all mine, I couldn't care less if someone fed their kid in the pool. What I would be worried about is DD2 who for some reason gawpes at people. I could see her gradually working her way over to see what's going on and standing over the mother and baby. Not sure what the mother would make of this or if it would make them uncomfortable. She stares at people all the time

MollyBdenum · 29/05/2014 16:21

I would probably smile at her and get back to feeding my baby. Children gawp at babies feeding. My breastfed children went through a phase of finding bottle feeding fascinating and I didn't stop them from looking at babies having bottles because that would be silly. I would step in if they were distracting the baby, getting in someone's way, or behaving in a way that might cause embarrassment to the bottle feeding mother.

5madthings · 29/05/2014 16:43

icimoi I bfed ds1 on a crowded tube train, he pulled off and as I have a very forceful let down I sprayed the man Sat opposite, went all over his newspaper! It was a cringey moment but everyone just looked away and no one said anything!

I would have no problem with a child looking and would prob smile and say hello and explain I was feeding a baby. I do try and teach my children it is rude to stare though! But little children are naturally curious and don't mean to be rude.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 29/05/2014 16:59

She's not little, she's 10 and that's the problem. She does have some mild learnig difficulties she gets help with and struggles socially so I don't know if this is why she stares at people, has to be prompted to get off the bus even with the doors open, stuff like that. She would definitely stare at the mother and baby in this situation though.

5madthings · 29/05/2014 17:12

If a ten year old was staring I would still do the same and would prob assume there nay be some kind of special needs. Tbh I would always rather give the benefit of the doubt and assume they were just curious etc, all children can forget manners etc at Times, they are just learning! So it wouldn't bother me!

I am assuming if I for example spoke to your daughter and explained what I was doing you would come over and check all was ok? My kids for example often end up talking to other families at the beach or the park, it's what kids do! But I always go check they aren't being a nuisance and take them away if they are making a nuisance of themselves.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 29/05/2014 17:34

Once I noticed she was staring I would ask her to come to me and ask what she's looking at (if I couldn't see) and explain what's happening and ask her not to stare as it's rude. It's might take me about 3 times of calling for her before she snaps out of staring though. She wouldn't say or do anything, just stand and stare and might engage or just smile and listen if you talked to her to tell her what your doing which I wouldn't have a problem with

5madthings · 29/05/2014 17:37

Well that's fine then, I wouldn't mind and most people wouldn't I would hope, she is a child!

In rl I find most people are generally nice and tolerant and understanding, if they aren't then that is there loss and I would give them short thrift.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 29/05/2014 17:40

Children staring doesn't bother me tbh.

Messygirl · 29/05/2014 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 29/05/2014 17:42

I have had situations where she is staring at people and they have looked a bit uncomfortable, like on the bus she stares at people even if I have a quiet word with her and ask her not to. Not a problem when she was little but more so as she's getting older. The other 2 don't do this so I guess it's just down to some of the difficulties she has. Was just curious really Smile

Caitlin17 · 29/05/2014 18:06

I bfed ds1 on a crowded tube train, he pulled off and as I have a very forceful let down I sprayed the man Sat opposite, went all over his newspaper! It was a cringey moment but everyone just looked away and no one said anything!

5Madthings* would you have offered to pick up his dry cleaning bill if it had gone over his suit?

Actually I do think that was an inappropriate place. As it was the tube you could have got off and used a seat at the platform and got back on the next one which came along.Did you even apologise?

I expect my views are clouded as I hated breastfeeding. It was possibly the unhappiest period of my life. The intolerant, patronising and condescending attitude of my health visitor and the ultra-dogmatic stance of the so called
"feeding supporter" from the NCT (parrotting breast is best ad nauseam) ruined the early months with my son. I've since discovered on here the oxytocin was probably making me miserable but that wasn't ever mentioned. And as he wasn't putting on weight clearly was not getting enough milk. I also hated doing it anywhere except in private and never did. Spraying a complete stranger with breast milk is really a bit off.

Caitlin17 · 29/05/2014 18:09

And 5Madthings would any one objecting to being sprayed by you get "short shrift"?

5madthings · 29/05/2014 18:15

It went on his paper, we couldn't get off as we were stuck outside a station for some random reason, it was feed him or have him scream his head off.

I didn't intentionally squirt milk, it was an accident I had a cloth to catch any spray but ds1 unmatched without warning. Accidents happen, people accidentally spill stuff etc. I can't even remember what the man was wearing, it went on his newspaper not his clothes anyway and bmilk can wash out, a few drops of bmilk wouldn't make clothing unwearable.

And yes I did apologise, he just continued to read his paper.

Why should I get off a train to feed my baby, we will have had a connecting train to get etc I am not going to get off a tube or bus or train to feed a baby.

And bmilk is much pleasanter than all the other stuff you may come into contact with on public transport!

TheScience · 29/05/2014 18:17

I don't think a train's inappropriate at all. No chance would I get off to feed a baby.

5madthings · 29/05/2014 18:17

I would have apologised, as it was after ds1 I got quite good at having a cloth or breast pad to hand and catching any spray, ten years of bfeeding over five kids meant I got quite adept!

It's bmilk, not poison.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 29/05/2014 18:17

Would your give a stranger a dry cleaning bill if they accidentally sneezed on your suit?

TheScience · 29/05/2014 18:19

If I splashed a bit of a drink on a stranger I would apologise but wouldn't offer to pay for dry cleaning tbh.

5madthings · 29/05/2014 18:23

hop I would much rather someone sprayed a bit of bmilk on me than sneezed on me tbh!

Bmilk is antibacterial, antimicrobial and doesn't pose a health hazard.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 29/05/2014 18:24

I once sprayed it across the table while a waiter was taking our order. Fun times.

whois · 29/05/2014 18:34

If I splashed a bit of a drink on a stranger I would apologise but wouldn't offer to pay for dry cleaning tbh.

Agreed. A few drops of coffee on a suit can be easily dabbed out with a damp sponge.

Unless it was a massive sticky spill of lucozade or similar on a silk shirt or something I wouldn't offer to pay.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 29/05/2014 18:35

offer to pay his dry cleaning bill good grief.