AIBU to be devastated that I'm pregnant?

[SpottyStripes]

I just did a pregnancy test and it came back positive, honestly don't know what to do. DCs are 11, 8 and 6 and after numerous issues with DC3 (both to mine and her health) DH and I said we wouldnt have any more. I sound incredibly ungrateful but I honestly don't want this baby, I don't think I will be able to cope if the same happens with DC3 (she was premature, traumatic birth with a lot of blood loss and I had severe post-natal depression for some time afterwards) and we really can't afford another child right now. Haven't told DH yet as he's in work, but I think we'll have a long chat about it tonight. I'm currently just sat crying because I have no idea what to do. Am I an awful person to not want this child?

When I found out I was pregnant me and DH had a good panic. I wasn't ever planning on having any kids, so at the time it kind of came as a bit of a blow. DH has always wanted children so we kept it, because this would be his only chance at it. Honestly, I felt no attachment to my baby until she was born. Then I couldn't get enough of her.

I wouldn't think about it in terms of finances though. Kids can grow up happy on budgets. DH grew up broke with hardly anything as a child and he still has many fond childhood memories. But I would consider if you are emotionally able to be there and love another child, because that's what's really going to matter. There's not wrong answer to that either, just something to think about.

YANBU, I really feel for you.

My 3rd pregnancy was a complete accident too (perhaps even more so than yours as I'm single and don't even remember the evening or know who on earth the father is !!

I thought my life was over. My other children were 10 and 6 and I felt like I was just starting to get my life back rather than everything being about them. Just the thought of going back to square 1 with a baby again made me feel sick. Devastated is certainly the word.

My feelings didn't really change throughout the whole pregnancy. I was very miserable and negative.

But now that she's here I wouldn't have it any other way, I love her to pieces.

You might find the same. Once the baby arrives things could feel so different.

OP please can you request this thread to be moved to tests and choices? Thanks.

Thinking of you, OP. I think you and your Dh should take done time rather than rush into a decision. If you are newly pregnant you will have a good few weeks yo get your head round it and decide on what is best for you all.

You sound as though you have has a tough time. Be gentle on yourself. Take care and sending you very best wishes.

I felt like this with dd, but less calm. I cried, told dh I wouldn't keep her, really devastated.

She's now the light of my life. I'm not saying this to sway you, just saying your not alone. I feel a bit sick sometimes looking at dd and knowing if it wasn't for dh being so determined I wouldn't have kept her.

I had an unplanned third and felt absolute wretched, so I know how you feel :(.I went with the, it's early days,let's see how it goes and he is seven now.
Let the shock wear off x

Embedded I feel guilt too. I really don't think it's that unusual x