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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think condoms alone are a sufficient form of contraception?

91 replies

ShineSmile · 28/05/2014 13:21

I do need a fool proof form of contraception as I can't have more children now.

I was thinking of getting a copper coil fitted alongside using condoms, but it has been difficult getting a convenient appointment at the local family health planning clinic (need someone to look after baby whilst I go). They also said they have no gas and air for pain relief, and I'm slightly dreading it.

So AIBU to think just condoms are sufficient as a form of contraception? I don't want to take any hormone contraception.

OP posts:
MummytoMog · 29/05/2014 00:31

I would also like to know - like I said, I assume Baby Oops is a result of a small hole or tiny tear in the condom that wasn't obvious, but we both know how to use a condom correctly although apparently not when they should be thrown away and not used

PrincessBabyCat · 29/05/2014 00:36

To put this in perspective. The pull out method is a percentage point more effective than condoms.

You might want something else.

guitarosauras · 29/05/2014 00:38

If you 100% don't want another child then yabu.

Why gas and air for a coil?

EBearhug · 29/05/2014 00:43

My mother also used to tell me total abstinence was the only method with 100% success rate. (Never imagined it would turn out to be my main contraceptive though.)

Pipbin · 29/05/2014 00:44

Get him to have the snip. It has the best rate according to that link earlier.

SoonToBeSix · 29/05/2014 01:03

I asked my gp just lady week she assured me if used correctly they are just as effective as the pill.

ThingsThatShine · 29/05/2014 01:11

Really annoys me when people claim pregnancies while using condoms must all be down to user error. It's not true. I got pregnant while using condoms, none split, they were put on correctly and early enough, I didn't do anything "wrong"! And there was nothing to indicate failure so nothing to suggest taking MAP. I can only guess it was a case of sperm in pre cum transferred manually or something like that, one of those unlikely sounding stories they tell you in PSHE at school! However these things do happen. If pregnancy would be disastrous I would use 2 methods.

PlaceBeyond · 29/05/2014 01:29

Get him to have the snip. It has the best rate according to that link earlier.

Actually the link puts male sterilization at 0.15% (of women getting pg after a year) and Implanon at 0.05%. So statistically Implanon has the best rate. But if pg would be disastrous I would go for both!

LadyOfSomewhereElse · 29/05/2014 01:33

Having your tube tied is as good as 100% effective isn't it? I had it done and was so happy. It was really quick, painless and worked immediately.

I have teen/adult kids and have always told them that they should use two types of contraceptive - condoms and the pill. Relying on one isn't a good plan if you want to guarantee that no one gets pregnant. It also enforces the idea that everyone should be taking responsibility for their own contraception.

PlaceBeyond · 29/05/2014 01:57

Female sterilization has a failure rate of 0.5%, which is low. Some people would happily accept that as good as 100%. Others would prefer to go for Implanon or the snip which is even closer to 100%.

monkeymamma · 29/05/2014 08:00

Dh and I together ten years and have used only condoms. Only times I've got pg we'd ditched the condoms and were actively ttc. 1st pregnancy on first cycle without and 2nd preg four m

monkeymamma · 29/05/2014 08:04

Oops! Four months on. So for us it's been completely effective and I don't like mucking about with my body re pills coils etc. not sure what we'll do when we're done with babies though.
I don't think no-one being able to look after your baby is a good reason not to go to family planning clinic though and get proper ie professional and not-just-off-mumsnet advice! Can't you see your GP, or talk to midwife or health visitor? How old is your baby?

monkeymamma · 29/05/2014 08:07

ThingsThat, just to split hairs, if sperm was transferred manually during foreplay that would technically be not using condoms properly. I definitely remember at school being told no contact at all until condom in place.

meddie · 29/05/2014 08:11

Still breastfeeding, not had any periods, bust condom, Morning after pill taken the next day.
Currently have a 24 year old DD who is proof that no contraception is 100% effective

weatherall · 29/05/2014 08:13

I knew someone who got pg with twins while on the coil.

ChickyEgg · 29/05/2014 08:15

No contraceptive is 100% effective! I couldn't have my endometrial ablation operation without either a) counselling for sterilisation and then being sterilised or b) DH having a vasectomy.

ChickyEgg · 29/05/2014 08:17

Forgot to add, we went for option B because the success rate is higher than being sterilised (although my DH was brilliant and said he would do that, just so that I could feel well again!)

Backinthering · 29/05/2014 08:23

We've used condoms only for six years. Not so much as a pregnancy scare.

QueenofLouisiana · 29/05/2014 08:27

I've had 2 coils put in without pain relief- I took paracetamol or ibuprofen half an hour before. It's not exactly fun but I was given a glass of water afterwards and was able to stay lying down for 10 minutes. I'm not exactly good at pain- I had everything available in order to give birth!

fuzzpig · 29/05/2014 08:34

We have used condoms for the entire 12 years of our relationship and have not got pregnant while using them, only had a split once (before ejaculation, didn't bother getting MAP as would've been happy with an accident).

Only ditched them when we've stopped to TTC (which was first cycle both times so not a fertility issue).

So for us they've been great, but I'm thinking of switching soon as it would be nice to have the increased intimacy. Maybe diaphragm? That said, I'm only considering that because another baby wouldn't be a disaster IYSWIM.

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 29/05/2014 08:46

Condoms alone are only good enough IMO if a) a baby wouldn't be such a disaster or b) you are alert to missed periods and completely willing (and able, eg not in Northern Ireland) to have an early abortion. Even the 98% annual failure rate for perfect use is not much cop if you're planning on relying on it for a decade.

Unfortunately using the MAP as a plan B isn't the complete answer because it can fail itself and it's not always visible that a condom has failed (see two posters upthread).

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 29/05/2014 08:50

That should be 98% success rate not failure rate obvs.

meditrina · 29/05/2014 09:01

The vasectomy fail rate is "high" in the first year because around half of all vasectomies which fail do so in the early months (usually attributed to abandoning other contraception before the all clear - compliance with post operative testing is surprisingly low too).

TheFuzz · 29/05/2014 09:30

We managed for a number of years with condoms. I wish we still did. Really do your research before any form of surgery, male or female, as there are a lot of complications for both which the GP is unlikely to warn you about.

My vasectomy went very badly, 10% result in long term pain. Sterilisation is more risky, and again, there are lots of complications.

I would honnestly look at non surgical methods !

lotsohummus · 29/05/2014 09:38

I don't trust just one method of contraception. I have a copper coil and honestly it was OK getting it inserted (and I haven't had children yet). We also use condoms. I used to just rely on the coil and never got pregnant but I feel happier having something like a 1 in 10,000 chance of getting pregnant as I would not be prepared to have an abortion and I don't want children for a few years ideally.