AIBU to be annoyed at what a friend said?

[bandlovingmum]

A few weeks ago one of my close friends made a passing comment while we were out for the day together and with a few other friends and it stuck in my mind and I've been thinking about it for a while now.
While having a quiet chat together (I can't remember exactly what lead up to this comment ) and she came out with 'well at least you have an easy life'

I don't want it to seem like I'm wallowing in self pity- Overall my life has been pretty alright- but I'm sure most people don't have or would describe themselves as having an 'easy' life.

I've known this friend since secondary school, so she has been there for many ups and downs in my life- and the same for myself with her.

So, would you be annoyed by this comment?

Yes and no.

I hate it when people put my achievements down to "luck" - as someone wiser than me said, the harder I work, the luckier I get - funny that isn't it? But I also think if someone's not entirely happy with their own life, it is sometimes easier for them to put it down to good/bad luck than to say "well I didn't work hard enough" or "I made poor choices". Obviously there are times when something good or bad happening really is down to chance, but generally studying at night for a qualification then getting a better job as a result of that isn't luck, it's graft.

I remember years ago, my friend who was a SAHM from the age of 20 made a bitchy comment about it "being ok for me to spend 50 on a dress, but some people just can't do that". It really hurt because I knew she had hardly any cash, but I was working really hard for not much money to build a career - long commute, long hours etc. It wasn't easy for me to find that 50. Plus, the dress was actually fora really special event. And 50 isn't even that much! What would it have hurt her to say "you deserve to treat yourself because of how hard you work - I'm only sorry I can't do the same?". But I recognised that things weren't easy for her and sometimes it's hard to be balanced and supportive when you feel like you never catch a break.

So what I am trying to say is YANBU for feeling a bit put down, but be kind to her as she may be feeling rotten about herself.

On the other hand she might just be a total bitch but you will have context to make that call.

We can only look at other peoples' lives from our own often indulgent perspective. It was probably a thoughtless comment, meaning at that particular moment she felt as though she was struggling and had no easy solution whereas in comparison, in her eyes at that particular time, you were sailing through things.

Let it go, I doubt that a friend of any long-standing would want to cause offence, or if they did it would be done in a much more direct way.

I appear to give out the vibe that I sail through everything

A work colleague said to me,

"We don't all have a man to pay for everything like you do!"

Ha

Sometimes people say stupid things.

YANBU to be upset.
But please don't dwell on it.

^

I feel I should verify that this is not & has never been true.

amicissimma, that's really lovely!