About toddler class?

[YellowYoYoYam]

I took DD (18mo) and DS (3mo) to our first toddler music group yesterday. As background, I took DD to this lady's baby class when she was DS's age and we both loved it. I'm on maternity leave again so thought I would take them both to the toddler/family session.

To cut to the chase, I was quite surprised that many of the parents didn't try to get their toddlers to engage with the activities. I know as well as any mother of a toddler that you can't make them do what they don't want to do, but the activities were fun, lots of moving around, shaking instruments and scarves and dancing. When parents were expected to lead their children (they had to find a particular colour) all the children took part really well. Mostly though, the parents were sat in a circle, with plenty of space in the middle for the kids to run around and play with the instruments, but some children just chased each other round the outside of the circle, paying no attention to the activity. On one occasion, the class leader took out the parachute and specifically said "This week we all need to sit around the edge for this activity," and four or five children dove underneath and lay under it and their parents didn't make one move to coax them out. AIBU to think that the parents should be paying attention to the class leader and trying to get their children to follow her instructions and engage with the activities?

I'm quite prepared to be told I am BU and I need to lower my expectations of what behaviour to expect at toddler classes. Yesterday DD sat quite happily with me, but I imagine in a few weeks time she'll feel brave enough to join in with the livelier kids. My gut is to try to engage her with the actual activity, but I don't want to make a show if this isn't how people roll at toddler classes!

I think it depends on the age of the toddlers. I would be trying to get a 2.5 year old to follow some instructions and join in appropriately but I would be letting an 18 month old do their own thing, at that age they're a bit little to be following instructions and it's just about the multi-sensory and social experience really.

That's a good point. The oldest child looked to be around 4. The older children were engaging better, most doing the running around were probably around 2.

YABU to attend any class or activity aimed at carers and toddlers .
The very hint of any such thing sends me into a sweat .

I would say you are being slightly unreasonable. I have an 18 month old and we do Gymboree and I mostly let him do his own thing. If he wants to join in, great, I am not going to hold him down and force him to sit still and he is too little to follow a lot of instruction.

Would you rather the parents constantly interrupt the class every 30 seconds getting their 18 month olds to sit down and pay attention? If your DD was happy to sit quietly, that's fine but not every child has the same personality. At that age my DS was always on the move. The first few classes I went to I was always on his case, stressing out and trying to get him to listen. Then one of the teachers reminded me that all kids learn in different ways and just because he was always on the move it didn't mean he wasn't learning. So I relaxed a bit more.

So I would say, focus on your own DD and the benefit she is getting from the class instead of worrying about other parents. At 18 months they're not that social so the other kids messing around won't have an impact on her.