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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if your child is sick you take annual leave

82 replies

uptheauntie · 27/05/2014 20:13

I (or my partner) have always taken annual leave if DD is sick and cannot go to nursery.

AIBU to think that if your child is sick and cannot go to preschool/nursery you should take annual leave to look after them, rather than claim you are working from home? Especially if there is no issue with you having run out of annual leave etc.

I just couldn't do my work properly whilst looking after/dealing with a sickly child.

OP posts:
missmargot · 27/05/2014 20:32

DS was ill today so I worked from home. I am a contractor so don't have an annual leave entitlement, however I am paid an hourly rate so will only invoice the hours I actually worked. The alternative was to leave the company in the lurch by not working on a key project and to forgo a day's income. As it was I managed around seven hours of work including working this evening after DS went to bed.

Hassled · 27/05/2014 20:37

I've worked from home when it's an older child who really just wants to lie on the sofa watching DVDs with minimal input from me - but with a toddler, that's really pushing it.

wobblyweebles · 27/05/2014 20:41

I find it perfectly possible to work from home with a sick child. What an odd OP.

balloondoggy · 27/05/2014 20:43

My second child was sickly and in the 9 months I worked after maternity leave, I had to take 19 holiday days to cover his illness. He was sick quite a lot which meant at least 48 hours and also a 5 day session for chicken pox.

My boss said that I could no longer take annual leave as it was supposed to be taken with at least 2 weeks notice, whereas I was phoning in the morning to say I couldn't come in (clearly I didn't know when my son was going to be ill).

Instead, I was to take 'time off for dependants' which was unpaid. The unpaid part wasn't the problem. However, my boss said that 'time off for dependants' was only for a 'reasonable' amount of time and used to arrange alternative care, which they deemed to be a maximum 24 hours.

In fact, the example they gave me was if the nursery called me at 2pm, I could leave but would be expected to be back by 9am the next day, or I would be in disciplinary.

I left!

wobblyweebles · 27/05/2014 20:43

But thinking about it, how lovely it would be to have a husband who a) is around during the week and b) actually had some annual leave to take.

erin99 · 27/05/2014 20:48

I agree when they are nursery age. But Y1 onwards or so, depending on the child, I think it's doable.

wafflyversatile · 27/05/2014 20:51

You claim dependency leave at my work. I don't know what limits are put on it. If it becomes a problem then I guess your manager would have a chat with you about it.

funkybuddah · 27/05/2014 20:51

If my kids are sick I just dont go in, it comes similar to sick leave in my place but doesnt go on your sick record. We get paid too unless the hours were overtime hours.

I work in retail so working from home is not an option.

The truth is though I dont take the piss and have actually only ever missed overtime days or a ocuple of hours of my normal shift. My work know our childcare arrangements so know Im not taking the mick (for example on saturdays DP is around so I go to work, on my other shift I work lates so only have to miss 3hrs max until dp is there)

wafflyversatile · 27/05/2014 20:52

you may or may not be able to work from home. It's silly to insist you can't because it depends on how old they are, and what sort of illness they have. Looking after a sickly child may be no more disruptive than being in an office.

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 27/05/2014 20:53

I was once asked to work from home rather than taking AL (we had some deadlines to meet and I could easily do my full hours fitted around sick DCs).

redexpat · 27/05/2014 20:54

In Denmark you get one or two days paid leave (depending on what your trade union has agreed) for child's first sick day. The idea is to use that to sort out childcare for the remaining time that the child is sick.

But I suppose it depends on what kind of job you have and how old and how ill your child is. It's possible as others have said to get stuff done.

captainproton · 27/05/2014 20:58

My job is in logistics and very much here and now, on call 24/7. If I'm off on leave someone has to do my work, and if I am at home or in the office I still have to do the same amount of work. If I didn't my customers would complain.

I've had this discussion with my line manager, I have no issue to take unpaid leave but if I do I won't be taking calls, my phone will be off and they can find someone else to do it.

I regularly work bank holidays, weekends etc, and even on my hols I've logged on to help out. These are my customers and I pride myself in my work. Every evening a check what's happening and do a little bit of work. I don't get paid extra for it. But the minute I am made to take unpaid leave, I will be working my contract hours and not a minute more.

I'm sure my colleagues are fed up of me having to go get the kids from nursery, but I try to help them out in other ways. I am one of the most experienced members of the team and I do a lot of problem-solving for those with less experience. I figure it's the least I can do.

So far it's not been an issue, but I'm sure it's only because none of my customers have complained yet. If they did I'm sure I'd be in for a chat. It's one of the reasons I try to give the best service to my customers as possible.

BertieBotts · 27/05/2014 20:58

Working from home is fine.

I think it's stupid that you're expected to take holiday when your child is sick. In other countries they have it as a different kind of leave, paid for by health insurance. I was amazed when I found out I could do this, now I think the system in the UK is crazy.

Zara8 · 27/05/2014 20:59

It depends on the child, their age and your job. I was off all last week (I work 3 days) as DS was sick. He is only 19 months so no way could I work while he was awake. However, across the 3 days I got 8 hours of work done during his naps and once he was in bed in the evening. I agreed this with my boss so I didn't have to take 3 days AL, just 2. I am pretty honest with her that I couldn't get anything done while he was awake!! I think that's fair.

My job just needs access to my email and various web based stuff, so I can do it from home (or anywhere).

I think parents should be able to use their sick leave instead of AL when their kids are sick, tbh!!

CalamitouslyWrong · 27/05/2014 21:00

Honestly, I can get much more work done with an ill child at home (watching films and sleeping, which is what they tend to do when they're ill) than I can in my office at work with people coming and going continuously and chatting all day. I can get more work done at home with a 4 year old on half term than while I'm at work too. In fact, my colleagues tend to stay at home if they actually want to get anything done and especially if they need to concentrate.

Just because you can't get your work done properly while your children are ill doesn't mean that no one else can. Talk about inability to look past the end of your own nose...

catgirl1976 · 27/05/2014 21:01

If I could work from home then I would do that. Whether I could do that would depend on my company, the type of work I did and what sort of attention my sick child needed.

If I could take emergency annual leave, that would be my second choice as it is paid.

If not, I would take Time Off For Dependents Leave, but this would be my last choice as it is unpaid.

YABU to assume people should take their annual leave if the choice of working from home is available to them, or if they prefer to take TOFD.

RubyrooUK · 27/05/2014 21:03

I work from home when my kids are sick.

I work full time and do whatever evening/weekend events are necessary and there is no overtime. I did 9-7pm in the office today with no breaks for lunch etc.

So I expect my employer to be flexible when the kids are ill. I normally start work before they wake up and don't finish until 11pm if I have difficulty getting things done when they're awake. I can deal with anything urgent rather than leaving it for others.

It seems to work for both me and my employer.

maddening · 27/05/2014 21:06

It sounds like a specific situation you are detailing - most people either take annual or unpaid parental leave.

I would not work from home with a healthy or poorly child in my sole care personally but it may depend on the type of work and age of the child - eg a 10 year old with chicken pox would be happy on the sofa with dvd and food and can look after themselves they just can't be left home alone and can't go in to schoold/childcare in hols. However for me with a 3 year old def not possible.

wafflyversatile · 27/05/2014 21:08

Dependents leave is paid at my co.

It obviously varies.

whois · 27/05/2014 21:12

Surely it depends on your role, and on how old and how sick the child is?

Poorly 7 year old with a bad cold needing to stay home and be sleeping on bed or quietly watching TV - of course you can work from home.

18 month old throwing up and having the squirs - not so much.

Meh84 · 27/05/2014 21:18

I worked from home last Wednesday when my daughter was poorly.

Works well for us. She ended up fast asleep in our bed whilst I was with her sorting emails and preparing for a presentation. I'm lucky I have a fab boss too!

FishWithABicycle · 27/05/2014 21:18

I expect my employer to trust me to make this judgement call, and I am worthy of that trust. If DC is lie-on-the-sofa-watching-films-and-sleeping poorly I'm perfectly able to get a full day's work done given that I have 7am-10pm (15hrs) to get 7.5hrs of work done I only need to be working half the time. If I can't get the work done I will take the leave. YABU OP and sound petty and judgemental.

Cheby · 27/05/2014 21:19

It depends. If DD is waiting out the 48 hr rule but happy to play and sleeping ok then ill work from home, on the understanding that I'm available on the phone, will do what I can during the day and make up the rest after DH gets home or she goes to bed. DH and I have both done this.
But if she's really unwell and clingy/wanting to be up all the time ill be honest with my boss and say I don't think I can get anything done and will need carer's leave or annual leave.

My boss trusts me to be honest and I do the same for my team. It works well and I have no reason to believe anyone is taking the piss with it in our office.

Original poster
uptheauntie · 27/05/2014 21:21

1 year old with chicken pox, very itchy and irritable. There is the option to take unpaid dependents leave. You have only been in the job for 2 months. You don't ask, just tell your boss you are working from home. Perhaps I should have put more in my op!

OP posts:
MaccaPaccaMac · 27/05/2014 21:23

I have occasionally worked from home in order to be at he looking after sick kid. I would normally spend the day caring for them in between checking meal and doing bits and bats of work and then when dh comes home, work all evening to make hours up. Normally get more done than at the office!

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