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Original poster

To be hacked off with "loud" work colleagues?

94 replies

Salmotrutta · 27/05/2014 19:43

Those Who Must Be Heard.

I'm not denying they may have interesting perspectives/tales/opinions and that they have every right to verbalise them.

Just not quite so loudly ...

'Kay?

OP posts:
Ioethe · 28/05/2014 10:04

I have a Random Mutterer. I'm staring at her now, fantasising about stabbing her with a pen.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 28/05/2014 10:10

ONE DAY I AM GOING TO TAKE THE PHONE OFF THE MAN IN OUR OFFICE WHO THINKS IT'S A MEGAPHONE AND RAM IT UP HIS FUCKING ARSE......

SIDEWAYS!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 28/05/2014 10:10

Aaaaaand breathe...............

shivermekimbers · 28/05/2014 10:17

I sit opposite somebody who calls her DP mid-morning, has a really loud conversation for at least 10 minutes, then ends it with a wet kissy noise. Oh it makes me want to retch! Thankfully I work part-time. So does she and we used to have the exact same work days but I changed mine so now I only have 1 day with her but I still want to vom in her face when I hear that kissy sound!

angelos02 · 28/05/2014 10:34

I have a colleague that absolutely cannot read my body language that is screaming out 'I am busy so shut the fuck up'. I can be furiously typing away, sorting out papers, even turn my fucking back to her but she still won't stop witterring on about nothing.

kiwimumof2boys · 28/05/2014 10:44

I had a grumpy old git of a colleague who thought anyone under 60 had no idea about anything in the world. At all. he also used to put his hand in his pants like Al Bundy. Oh and let off farts.
Same office, same time: Older lady (I thought was about 75 but was only in her 50's) chain smoked, coughed and yelled down the phone all the time. Would go for a cigarette break every damn hour (despite the rest of us only being allowed 2 breaks a day Hmm) then would come back and hack the place down with her coughing (and practically lose a lump of lung in the process). Then would ring her friend, letting the whole office know her debts, and how her 'wonderful' children were (they were really horrible to her and the reason she was in debt in the first place apparently). Then after every conversation she would slam down the phone and go 'stupid btch.' (referring to her friend). It was actually quite funny. One day she lost the plot screaming at someone, I'm assuming the 'stupid btch,' that I started to laugh and had to leave the room for 15 minutes til I could control myself. So did a colleague.
Very glad I'm not working there anymore !

Daisymasie · 28/05/2014 10:55

We have the one who is never off their bloody mobile, shouting their private business all over the place; the one who comes in every morning, sighs heavily to get people's attention and then starts moaning about the latest (non) crisis in their life; and the one who takes over every single conversation to tell us all a similar story, but even more interesting, about her niece/nephew/uncle/cousin/auntie six times removed.

SueDoku · 28/05/2014 12:09

It was fine until we all started to get older (v low turnover of staff where I worked). Once we started with age-related diabetes, various operations, blood-thinning medication etc etc that was all that some members of the office ever talked about -- blood sugar levels, haemoglobin levels, X-rays, scans, chemotherapy, radiotherapy......and then their partners started to be ill as well.... Hmm

It went on and on while I (with health problems of my own - just ones that I didn't choose to share with all my co-workers) barricaded myself behind my desk and screamed inwardly - the relief when I retired was incredible....Blush

albertcamus · 28/05/2014 12:30

EBearhug Agreed, that way would lie disaster ... no man would interpret your lustful thoughts as anything other thank a massive compliment, and would be destroyed to think that it was just your survival strategy ! In our Department, we have mastered the art of playing: 'Kiss, Marry, Slap' in three different languages to get us through training and INSET days. We were actually complimented not long ago on our positive attitude and smiling faces while being bored to death lectured about the 2015 curricula changes ...

BeetRooster · 28/05/2014 12:48

I share an office with Dry Cough Extrovert (roughly 1 cough every 2 minutes, has to verbalise her every thought to the entire office) and Whispery Gossipers (whisper gossip to each other all day)... not sure which is worse!

shivermekimbers · 28/05/2014 13:09

Oh I hate whispery gossipers. There's a pair of them in my office. If what you're talking about is so secret, don't say it in the office FFS!

Whitewaters · 28/05/2014 13:15

Just wanted to say thank you all so much!! I work in an open plan office with about 100 people in it. On my bank of desks there are 8 of us. And nobody in the office ever speaks! (And it's not like our work is super hard and needs complete concentration)

If I try to make conversation I get 1 or 2 word replied and no one asks questions back. If a visitor comes round and says 'hello' everyone stares at them like try have 2 heads.

It drives DH crazy because I go home having spoken to no-one all day. So I chatter on and on at him.

This time last year I was in a smaller office with more normal people and I loved it, we would chat and it felt like a normal dynamic.

Recently the office atmosphere got me so down I spoke to my boss (who's based elsewhere) who spoke to the others on my bank of desks, just to see how they've felt about the atmosphere, and apparently they didn't think there was anything unusual in the situation!

It's really been getting me down recently, but coming on here and reading all these views has made me realise it could be worse. And reminded me not to look back with my rose tinted specs on!!

albertcamus · 28/05/2014 13:15

Our whispery gossiper is the IT manager ... The covert whispering is scary because you know that she knows everything there us to know !

hudyerwheesht · 28/05/2014 13:17

I recognise SO many of these.

I have the loud STOMPSTOMPSTOMP down the office, the SLURP,MUNCH,SLURP of people eating cereal at their desk, the ones who shout down the phone, and, most annoyingly of all, the one who is perfectly capable of whispering in hushed tones when gossiping/bitching but when it comes to work-related talk must SHOUT IN A LOUD NASAL VOICE ACROSS SEVERAL BANKS OF DESKS, to ensure everyone knows how very, very busy and important she is...

Working in an office is bad for my mental health.

albertcamus · 28/05/2014 13:33

I feel more rage after 15 minutes in our staff room than any class I teach ... The antics of Year 9 set 3 are a welcome antidote to the misery-inducing brain death which can make a 15 minute break feel like three hours !

Ioethe · 28/05/2014 13:40

A friend of mine shares an office with a Persistent Wet Sniffer. I would honestly have to look for another job.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 28/05/2014 13:49

The young lady that sits next me? Who cannot speak normally? So the end of every sentence? Her voice goes up? Like she is asking a question?

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I don't care. I don't care about weight watcher points. I don't care about your cat. I don't care if x and y are wearing the same shoes. I don't care.

This doesn't bother her though. She just talks to her fucking self all day.
"Oh, no answer? I wonder where he is? Ill just write a little note? On my post it? It will remind me to call back later? Shall I have a cup of tea now? Oh I might wait until lunchtime though?"

SHUT UP

quietbatperson · 28/05/2014 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

albertcamus · 28/05/2014 14:26

(Working out how I MUST use this thread - expletives deleted - from September when teaching Business Communication BTEC to my new Year 10 charmers ... I can feel a big role-play coming on ! )
Wet sniffers in the classroom are soon stifled by peer pressure, to a chorus of 'Ask Miss for a TISSUE !' ... Clearly the serial sniffing re-emerges in adult life :(

shivermekimbers · 28/05/2014 14:30

Quiet I used to work in an office where they decided to move to a hotdesk system so everything had to be put away at the end of the day to ensure your desk was ready for somebody else the next. Except nobody ever did move. Most of us worked in the central office every day and so all that happened was a load of unhappy people who felt like they could be fired and replaced any day and nobody would ever know they had ever been there. Unsurprisingly a lot of people left really quickly, including me. It was awful.

PumpkinPie2013 · 28/05/2014 14:55

I'm a teacher but have a colleague who cannot resist coming into the staffroom/preproom/office and whinging loudly about everything

She doesn't notice the weary looks on everyone's faces saying 'SHUT UP'

Drives me batty!!!!!!

Honestly, I can get to work all happy and cheerful, bump into said person and within about 5 minutes feel so bloody depressed.

We also have several folk who eat all of the biscuits meaning most of us never get one!

Luckily, my pupils are ace Smile

PumpkinPie2013 · 28/05/2014 14:56

I'm a teacher but have a colleague who cannot resist coming into the staffroom/preproom/office and whinging loudly about everything

She doesn't notice the weary looks on everyone's faces saying 'SHUT UP'

Drives me batty!!!!!!

Honestly, I can get to work all happy and cheerful, bump into said person and within about 5 minutes feel so bloody depressed.

We also have several folk who eat all of the biscuits meaning most of us never get one!

Luckily, my pupils are ace Smile

Pumpkinpositive · 28/05/2014 14:58

People who smile all the time too. That really does my nut in.

It's all so... unnecessary.

Angry
CarpeJugulum · 28/05/2014 15:05

I smile a lot. But it's more a "I'm smiling because if I don't, I may say something that I regret to you"...

TantrumsAndBalloons · 28/05/2014 15:05

We used to do that.

It caused chaos. A certain number of people decided that hot desking actually meant find a desk you like, put photos and personal stuff all over it and then if anyone sits there tell them they have to move because it's your desk

Which kind of defeated the whole purpose of it

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