To not know what to do (wedding invite..maybe..)

[Filimou]

A friend of mine (kind of related by marriage its a bit complicated and cant say too much without outing myself), sent me a message on facebook a few months ago asking me to attend her wedding told me the date and gave me a venue. This venue can be used for the ceremony as well as the reception.
Anyway, not long ago she sent out the invites, my mother received one I havent, she is apparently sending out evening invites later. She is getting married in a church in the morning and then having a reception at the venue she told me about at night.
So, whilst I am flattered that she has asked me Im not really sure about having to take a day off work travelling a 2.5 hour journey to go to the evening do, but I know she expects me to go (long story but again cant say too much), so what can I do?

You could pretend that you can't get the time off work.

Wouldn't you like to join your Mum and make a night of it?

I go to the open

Sorry, I go "to the opening of an envelope", so I wouldn't turn the invite down.

Well, do you want to go? If you do, then go. If you dont want to go then dont.

You dont need to take the day off. Try and get a 4pm finish, leave and drive straight there. Book a room and get ready in it and stay over. Leave after breakfast if you need to get back to work.

if she was that desperate to have you there, you'd be a day guest.
make an excuse and skip it if you're not keen!
I'd rather have guests that want to be there than a guests who attend because they feel they have to, but I also don't agree with evening only invites

If it was me I would go because I love all weddings, so would go to the church, reception or evening do or a combination of the 3- whatever I was invited to but it is up to you. Simple decision really, if you want to go- go. If you don't want to then don't!

She asked you to attend her wedding (via Facebook). But she has failed to invite you to her wedding, as the anticipated invite is only going to be to her reception.

No, I wouldn't travel two and a half hours for an evening reception. And presumably two and a half hours back? Or have to pay for a hotel room? Nope.

No, I wouldn't go - it is an invitation not a summons (to use a famous Mumsnet expression).

Just send your regrets - why people expect their guests to put themselves out and do a five hour round trip for a glorified party I have no idea.

thinkivebeen Id need to take at least half the day to get ds ready and packed (hes 3) as well as us. The evening is black tie.

Did she specifically mention in the message on facebook that your DS was invited?

Do you actually want to go all that way, to a black tie do, and take your 3 year old son (why does it take half a day to pack and get a child ready ? Just don't go. There is no Law that says you have to accept an invitation.

Its just an invitation. I really don't get why people get their knickers in a twist over weddings.

Go if you want, don't if you don't. If you really think that you not going impacts on her day at all then you have an inflated sense of yourself.

its annoying isn't it.

I was very close to a cousin growing up, and have now been invited to her wedding, lovely.

Except, it is the evening do only, on a Wednesday, 2 hours from where I live. And to top it all there was an appalling poem, littered with half rhyme, asking for cash.

Will your Mum mind if you don't go?
I would probably be making my excuses if Mother fine to go it alone.
Too much hassle for an evening do...

Tell her that a 5 hour round trip for an evening party is too far to travel, especially with DS.

If she was that bothered about you being there she'd invite you to the whole thing, so it's clearly not that important to her.

I'd perhaps go to the church (which is open to any member of the public) then find something nice to do/take ds for something to eat) before attending the evening.