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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my dentist is a ....

58 replies

onestepbeyond · 27/05/2014 15:14

sanctamonious patronising arse! My daughter eats a healthy diet and has good teeth (with no plaque / decay) that we clean twice a day everyday. So why does my dentist feel the need to talk to me like I'm feeding her sugar cubes washed down with coke?

Yes I let her have an occasional treat and (apparently the biggest sin of all) fruit but does that really mean I need to leave everytime feeling like a terrible mother and about 2ft tall.

Rant over!

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 15:21

Is there some problem with her teeth?

Original poster

onestepbeyond · 27/05/2014 15:27

None at all!! Dentist said they are in excellent condition before starting the lecture!

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 15:32

Bit odd. Obviously wants them to stay that way. or having a bad day. Did you say anything?

Original poster

onestepbeyond · 27/05/2014 15:38

She's always like this - think it's just her manner! Just makes me feel shit. Can't do anything about it though as nhs dentists are like golddust around here!

OP posts:

KoalaFace · 27/05/2014 15:41

My dentist does this (he talks about fruit like its the devil's own produce and tries to convince me to give DS cheese sandwiches instead). I think they must see some teeth that are in a terrible state and get a bit over zealous with the advice.

Just remember, the proof is in the teeth. You know her teeth are great, he knows it, you can just let him say his piece and then forget all about it!

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 15:42

Well you would feel worse if you were getting the lecture because your DDs teeth were awful I suppose. I guess the dentist sees a lot of horrible teeth in children.

Good job it's only every 6 months and you can brace yourself. Did you have a check up yourself?

CorusKate · 27/05/2014 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett · 27/05/2014 15:44

They all do this, seriously. I think there's a module in it at dentist school. Mine went through the evils of fizzy drinks (don't have them), to fruit juice (nope), to squash (uh-uh), finally ending up reading me a lecture on milk FFS! And there's nothing wrong with DS teeth either, he just assumed he drank all sorts.

(that sounds like a stealth, actually DS has food ishoos so hates all drinks except milk and water, it's none of my doing!)

Original poster

onestepbeyond · 27/05/2014 16:14

Yes you are all right - they do probably see some terrible teeth and its probably necessary to assume the worst! It's just annoying as at 33 I have no fillings etc and wish I could get some recognition for that from her! I'd listed dd's snacks (humous, cheese, bruschetta, cucumber sticks, carrot sticks, olives and fruit) and I think it must have been the mention of fruit that set her off - how she expects me to get 7 a day into dd with no fruit I don't know!!
Wilsonfrickett yes it must be in dentistery 101 !!

OP posts:

Mrsmorton · 27/05/2014 17:35

I don't remember doing that module, I think it's more of a thing we develop as we go along. It's hard sometimes not to seem patronising but she should play to her audience.

Tbf, it's really fucking annoying to see children with decay and parents who just shrug and say "well, he can get into the cupboards now, I can't stop him eating sweets".

I'm sure your family's teeth are great, but I think we always assume the worst because lots and lots of people don't care.

Original poster

onestepbeyond · 27/05/2014 18:24

No offence intemded mrsmorton, I imagine it must be quite exasperating at times!

OP posts:

Mrsmorton · 27/05/2014 18:27

None taken! Very exasperating.

WilsonFrickett · 27/05/2014 18:28

It's equally frustrating as a parent who could do with some extra support mrsmorton. I've been waiting four years for a referral to the SN dentist... and my dentist knows this, yet the lectures about fizzy drinks and sweets continue to a food-phobic child who doesn't eat fizzy drinks and sweets. And it's there on his notes too.

Hassled · 27/05/2014 18:29

Find a new dentist. I love my dentist. She looks like she's 12, but she knows I'm terrified and she never ever comments or judges.

ThatBloodyWoman · 27/05/2014 18:29

My dentist did this.
I changed dentists.
My new one doesn't.

I actually used to get odd looks because my dd used to ask for water at parties because she didn't like pop or squash, yet my dentist would not accept that she didn't drink sugary drinks.

My new dentist has told me that her problems are from when she was developing in the womb.

I still feel responsible, but at least I feel it's something I was unable to avoid.

Mrsmorton · 27/05/2014 18:40

Wilson, are you still waiting? That's outrageous. Where do you live?

intheenddotcom · 27/05/2014 18:59

They tend to do this. Mine accused me of being bulimic several times despite me repeatedly explaining that I have delayed growth - hence being tiny. I admit that I don't have the greatest teeth but it's nothing to do with throwing up.

WilsonFrickett · 27/05/2014 19:16

Edinburgh mrsmorton.

Mrsmorton · 27/05/2014 19:17

Sometimes it's hard to find the cause of something even though we know there must be something that is causing a specific pattern of a dental problem.

For example I had a young make patient once, very handsome, mid 20s. His teeth were wearing away so rapidly that by the time he reached 30, he would need dentures.

My first thought was bulimia, nope. Never made himself sick. Then I thought maybe he's a borderline alcoholic. Nope never drinks, spends all his time in the gym. Then I thought it must be his diet. Nope, fastidious about his intake of sugar and acids.

Then, after weeks of discussing this issue, he finally said "oh, sometimes I regurgitate my food into my mouth and chew it again before swallowing it"

There's your problem. Sometimes we have to ask questions in a lot of different ways to get to the answer. And some dentists are better at not sounding patronising than others. We defo don't get lessons on it though!

Mrsmorton · 27/05/2014 19:18

I'm that it's taken so long! Have you asked why it's so bad? I don't know much about the system in Scotland but you've a dental hospital so there must be a decent provision in the city.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/05/2014 19:21

Wilson that's awful.

Have you called the Children's Dental Service?

We go to the conan doyle SN dentist..they are really good.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 27/05/2014 19:22

It's hard doing a job where everybody hates us! Most of us are doing our best. If we don't give the advice then we have the NHS on our backs complaining that we aren't giving the advice.

WilsonFrickett · 27/05/2014 19:24

TBH I've let it slide a little because our new dentist (despite the lectures and snarky post above) is actually very patient with DS and DS has been letting him have a look at his teeth. And has only bitten him the once! So I haven't felt the need to be actively chasing it. But we are at the pead on Monday so I will mention it then. This thread has actually been a good reminder!

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 19:25

I am taking myself and the two DSs on Thursday. just changed to a new dentist as my other lovely dentists reduced his hours and disappeared.

She said in November that if DS2's last two milk teeth hadn't dropped out they may need some help. Yikes! One has dropped out but not the other.....

Iloveonionchutney · 27/05/2014 19:35

I'm looking into a new dentist, but not many taking on here, I'm fed up of the same lecture everytime about no acidic food and drinks. It's in the notes I'm allergic to citrus fruits, I also have Crohn's disease and gallstones. I can't look at vinegar or any other acids without feeling the pain I'd have to endure if I did ingest them. And as is the nature of the disease I am sick a lot, have acid reflux and take steroids. I explain all this everytime I see him and he still insists I need to stop drinking orange juice!
My teeth are in an awful state, much like others with this illness, but he just doesn't seem to listen, it's very frustrating.

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