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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go against dp and buy myself a new car?

43 replies

Jadebugg · 27/05/2014 15:11

Dp is currently stressing about money. We've had a bit of a shit time with it but now we're ok. No debts, both earning etc. we can theoretically get by on just dp's wage but mine allows us to book holidays/activities and save.

Now my car is 14 years old and on the last mot cost us almost £400 to fix. I'm dreading the next mot because I'm starting to think it is just past it now. I could sell it for about £700 and buy a 7 year old car for £2500. Minus the £700 would leave me £1800 to pay on it. I can save up the £800 in two months leaving just £1000 to pay. I think it makes sense. The tax would be cheaper and it would be less likely to cost us a fortune on mot in 12 months time. Dp says no but I actually really disagree with him so why am I obeying?? Aibu to sell my car and buy another without his blessing? I think it's false economy keeping a 14 year old car on the go.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 27/05/2014 15:13

What are his reasons for not wanting you to replace your car? Could it be that he's nervous and things are tight, so just wants to get a bit of money behind you both? Maybe save the £800 for your rainy day fund, and then find another car in a couple of months?

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 27/05/2014 15:14

Don't go behind his back on such a big purchase.

Save up the money and then try discussing it again.

I have to ask tho if you can save that much in that short a space of time why would he be against it and why are you having money worries?

Drquin · 27/05/2014 15:20

You are probably right about the false economy of it all.

But, I'd say it comes down to how you manage your money - if separate, then go ahead and do what you want. If it's joint finances, then you need to be discussing it a bit more.

Proportionately, £1800 is not a lot if you can spare £800 per month - so why not compromise, and save the £800 monthly for a few months until you've got enough cash to buy something outright. Then you get the new car, DH doesn't have the stress of loan; and if something unplanned happens in the next few months at least you got a couple of grand squirrelled away?

icecreamfloat · 27/05/2014 15:21

I agree with you, mostly, but a 7 year old car is going to have expensive things to fix too. We sold DH's 9 year old car last year as we'd had to replace the gearbox and clutch within weeks of each other then it needed work on the exhaust and suspension. But, generally speaking you would expect a 7 year old to have less things to fix than a 14 year old car so YANBU.

In fact, we had pretty much the same dilemma with my car. I had already got rid as it was "beyond economical repair". We decided I could get a cheapo runaround to replace it. The only thing is reliable cheapo runarounds are hard to come by and when doing the sums it was apparent that I needed to think newer. then I got a payrise and decided to spend the payrise on a brand new car, justifying it by no MOTs, less tax, less petrol, cheaper insurance

icecreamfloat · 27/05/2014 15:23

Ha strikethrough fail!

I also meant to say, I wouldn't go behind his back. That is not the same as saying "actually, you're wrong about this so I am going to do what I think is right on the basis that it will be better long term and won't be to the detriment of blah blah"

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 27/05/2014 15:37

We've heard your list of justifications for wanting another car. What's your justification for going against your partner's wishes?

bigdog888 · 27/05/2014 16:24

icecream they're pretty much the worst reasons to try and justify buying a new car!

isabellavine · 27/05/2014 16:26

I think you should talk to him some more, and be open to other options I agree with other posters that saving up for a bit longer and buying something a bit newer may turn out to be more of an economy in the long run.

HolidayCriminal · 27/05/2014 16:28

We worked out a deal: I got new car that he disagreed with, he got kitchen renovations he wanted (that i thought was pointless). Any sort of option like that for you?

MostWicked · 27/05/2014 17:52

why am I obeying?

I find that a strange choice of words. Maybe it just needs more discussion. I really think you should be in agreement on decisions like this.
How would you feel if he ignored your opinion and spent a lot of money on something for himself?

ICanSeeTheSun · 27/05/2014 17:56

If you are going to get a preowned car I would get a newer one, that is 3 years old.

Get a mechanic to come with you, to make sure the cat is ok.

Save if you can.

erin99 · 27/05/2014 18:15

You won't get much for a 14 year old car with its MOT due either. Can you see how it does in the MOT first? Are you thinking it'll need something expensive because it's old or is there something specific that is worrying you - timing belt, clutch etc?

The trouble with buying a new-to-you car in this price bracket is that the seller has sold it for a reason and you're unlikely to have much of a warranty. You might find it needs £1000 of work doing. Unless there is something specifically the matter with your own car, it's a better bet than an unknown IMO. But at some point soon you are going to need a new car. Your DP needs to realise this and you both need to build it into the financial planning, along with some contingency for teething troubles. Would swapping cars with each other be an option if you are more concerned about your car's reliability than he is?

HappyMummyOfOne · 27/05/2014 18:21

A seven year car will still need lots of work on it. What about looking for something newer and save for longer. Financially makes more sense and you can purchase cars very cheaply from new if you are not picky re engine size and features. MN recently had an advert for the new Chevrolet for £5995 brand new. Low tax, full warranty and no MOT for three years.

mercibucket · 27/05/2014 18:26

Who will pay 700 for a 14 year old car? Sounds a bit unrealistic tbh
Buy a newer car than you suggest or stick with the old might be safer bets

ComposHat · 27/05/2014 18:29

It depends what you spent the £400 on. If it was tyres, exhaust, brake pads etc. then these are just consumables on cars and there is every chance that a 7 year old car would need them replaced on its first MOT as well.

A seven year old car may not be significantly less hassle and you could be buying into a whole new world of trouble. Unless you've got money to burn and are ble to buy a significantly newer car, which it seems you haven't at the moment I would consider the car you have now as a case of the 'better the devil you know.'

VinoTime · 27/05/2014 18:32

What's he driving?

I agree with some posters in that a big purchase does need mutual agreement. However, it's not like you're demanding a brand new £20,000 car. Frankly, I'd play the 'I don't feel safe driving it' card and just go for it.

ComposHat · 27/05/2014 18:33

Good point merci £700 is a bit unrealistic unless it is v.low mileage, in good condition and has a full year's MOT.

If the car's MOT is about to run out then it will be practically worthless.

cantbelievethisishppening · 27/05/2014 18:37

I guess it depends on the joint financial commitments you both have. You said you had no debts. You said yourself your money is the more disposable income. Is he worried about losing holidays, not being able to save as much? Does he usually have the final call on higher than normal spending?

cantbelievethisishppening · 27/05/2014 18:39

What does he drive?

HygieneFreak · 27/05/2014 19:00

I was looking into trading my car in for a family car as i had a 6 week old baby and my current car was 3 doors with a tiny boot.

Dh and I had discussed getting a new car etc. However dh is very much into gadgets! He will buy something that he wont use just so he can say he has it.

Dh wanted the new car to have leather seats, built in sat nav (even though we never go anywhere that needs a sat nav) and various other expensive unused gadgets.

Anyway i was going to the local boots store and drove past a Ford garage. I thought i would just have a look and see what they had.

One hour later i came home with documentation for a 17,000 car that i had just bought!

I paid for it out the savings.

Dh was abit miffed that we hadnt chosen the car together, but my thinking was that dh would want all this extra rubbish causing us to spend more money. Plus dh was hardly going to use the car as he has a van etc.

Shonajay · 27/05/2014 19:06

I didn't go against dh's wishes but bought a six year old nissan Qashqai as it was newer. The engine blew (luckily garage took,responsibility), the MOT and service was £700 last year, and this years is £1054. Wish I'd kept the old one!

Charlieboo30 · 27/05/2014 19:10

Hmm, I'm torn on this one. I recently traded in my 12 year old Clio as it was starting to cost serious money. Got £1000 for it against a brand new Toyota. It had 107,000 miles on the clock, 10 months MOT and 4 months tax. They did say if I hadn't been getting a new car or it had less MOT they'd only have given me £400. In fact, when we were thinking about going down to one car I took it to a local dealer who offered me £300. I now have a brand new aygo and I love it. So reliable and fuel efficient.

Having said that, I'd never go against my lovely DP as he's usually right! He's got an 07 reg car and it's never cost us less than £250 at its MOT.

Charlieboo30 · 27/05/2014 19:12

Shona - DP had a qashqai as a company car and never again. It was in the garage every two minutes! It's put me off Nissans for life (even though I really wanted a micra when I passed my test!)

eurochick · 27/05/2014 19:22

What are his reasons?
Do you have separate finances? Do you live together?
If you can save up £800 in two months, can you not save for 4-5 months and have enough to buy the car outright so you don't need to take on the debt?

Anomaly · 27/05/2014 19:53

At £2500 you're unlikely to be getting a car that will definitely sail through its mot. My car is worth twice that and I've spent maybe £500 this year on mot, servicing, parts etc.

Cars cost money to run. I always expect to pay around £500 a year on mot, servicing, parts etc and think myself lucky if I don't spend it all.

If my dh went out and bought a car without my agreement our marriage would be on the line.