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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Annoying older lady neighbour

18 replies

LadyTruly · 27/05/2014 14:49

We moved into our house a few months back and we live next door to an lady in her sixties. We thought she was helpful at first but it has turned out she is a bit of an 'jeremey kyle gran '. She has lived here for many years, and knows everyones business. She will constantly have teenagers/kids outside her house chatting with her, we share the same path up to our houses, so that gets blocked up everytime we want to go out. Even if we leave our house we have an audience watching us etc. It's almost as if she has buy people things so that they will talk to her especially given the local kids sweets all the time. She is by no means a sweet little old lady, any trouble that happens here it all seems to centre from her, she will get jealous if other neighbours talk to eachother, and make little digs and lies to turn neighbours against eachother, she is very nosey and seems to have nothing better to do. She seems to want to rule the roost ! Any advice would be much appreciated, we try to keep our distance etc, but by the look she gives she doesnt like that ! thanks so much .

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/05/2014 14:55

a bit of an 'jeremey kyle gran ', interesting turn of phrase.

Just ignore any looks she throws your way.

Is she harassing you, how does she cause trouble?

BuzzardBird · 27/05/2014 14:57

Is she 'White Dee' ? Grin Sounds very Eastenders.

pictish · 27/05/2014 14:57

She can speak to whoever she likes, and how she goes about that is nothing to do with you.
You don't need to worry about her.

Fakebook · 27/05/2014 15:00

How about ignoring her and not telling her your life story?

Squidstirfry · 27/05/2014 15:38

You sound like the snooty judgmental neighbor tbh...

UriGeller · 27/05/2014 15:52

YANBU . Sounds awful but that's the deal with neighbours. You can't choose them. Narrow your house choices to detached or a more rural location next tme

EmmanuelWoganberry · 27/05/2014 15:57

We have one of these in our street, lives on her doorstep always chatting to neighbours. First sign of conflict andshe is out there in her slippers getting stuck in. We do call her White Dee!

You have two options: move somewhere naicer or just ignore. We went with the second option, worst that she will likely do is give you catsbum faces.

BlueJean · 27/05/2014 16:03

God I would hate having an audience every time I left the front door.

It does sound like a 'white Dee' type of situation and when I was watching the programme that is what I said I would hate about living there. Not the neighbours per se - rather the fact that you couldnt just go about your business without it being observed.

But this is where you are for now and you have to live your life with the neighbours you have got.

You could choose to be breezy about it all. Say hiya to the group. Ask her for a small favour (cup of sugar type thing ) then be very grateful when you return the favour promptly. Give her very small fragments of information -like the buses were so crowded you had to stand all the way from town , isnt it a scandal and at these prices! Decide how much you are willing to tell her about your life and stick to it.

If she is just lonely and nosey and you approach her with a touch of humanity she wont be hostile toward you if you arent hostile toward her.

thebodylovesspring · 27/05/2014 16:05

Look if she's got the local teenagers in her pocket I would swallow your angst, smile and nod.

Why would you cats bum face someone who could potentially cause you problems?

From your post she's not done anything wrong has she?

Smile and nod.

mrsbucketxx · 27/05/2014 16:11

just ignore her, she has no bearing on your life.

be polite and that's it

LynetteScavo · 27/05/2014 16:17

Yep, sounds very eastenders.

I bet you'll look back and remember her fondly one day. Grin

For now there's not much you can do apart from being friendly without engaging in conversation.

Vintagejazz · 27/05/2014 16:25

Gangs of teenagers hanging around outside my house all the time would drive me mad, and no one wants an audience every time the walk outside their front door, so YANBU.

LadyTruly · 27/05/2014 16:30

thanks for the positive feedback, im not at all stuck up, just a busy normal mum ! It just upsets me when im trying to put my little ones to bed and you can hear swearing teens out the front with her, as an older woman you would expect better ? Plus my other neighbours say to me i couldn't live at your house, i really feel for you. So thanks for some helpful comments, i just wanted to seek some friendly tips. :)

OP posts:
exmrs · 27/05/2014 16:57

Yanbu I feel your pain I have a nosey old man next door who drives me mad.
Every time I go in the garden he goes in his. He must just wait by his back door .

He comments on everything and when I was getting quotes for my back garden he came out interrupting saying that bush has been there 35 years I hope you not cutting it down, the bush is in my garden !
Anyway bush went and he actually sulked and said I see the bush has gone .

He is nosey and wants to know everyone's business and I'm finding it hard to be polite. I'd actually prefer to live next door to chavs than someone who has too much time on his hands

Daisymasie · 27/05/2014 17:00

YANBU At all. I have gangs of teenagers sitting on a wall near the back of my house at eye level with my sitting room window, and it drives me absolutely demented. I am actually trying to get the Management Company to do something about it.

Very few people want teenagers hanging around their house all of the time.

ThatBloodyWoman · 27/05/2014 17:06

I don't think there's a whole lot you can do.

Given that, I would personally keep on the right side of them and stay pleasant.If you are lucky enough not to have to use the overlooked room as a main living room (ie use it as a dining room) I would do that, and put up voiles/nets/bamboo blinds.

I am hoping you have double glazing.

If you are good to them, I should think they'll be good to you.

ThatBloodyWoman · 27/05/2014 17:09

Also, could you slowly and subtly mark your space and boundaries -plants in tubs to impede view and muffle sound, a lowish fence with a trellis and climbers added in time, a fast growing hedge -that sort of thing.

ThatBloodyWoman · 27/05/2014 17:12

Also could the dc(s) be moved to a back bedroom?

If not,maybe if you keep on good terms with her you may also find she takes charge and controls some of the noise/swearing if you suss out on what level to approach her about your dc(s) bedtime and the problems you're having.

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