To think about letting dds babysit ds to go out for the evening?

[VeryStressedMum]

This has probably been done to death but would like some advice. Me and dh would like to go out for a meal together, we have 2 dds aged 14 and 13 and ds 7 and thought dds could look after him for a few hours from about 8.30 til 11.

They are sensible girls and I leave ds with them when I pop to the shop but that's not longer than 20 mins and the shop is less than 5 mins away. We'd go to a restaurant on a Friday evening, just up the road so not far, our next door neighbours are very good and they'd be on hand if needed, and grandparents are 5 minutes away.

But we'd be having a drink, not getting plastered just wine with a meal but it means we'd be getting a cab not driving so even though we could be home in 5 mins we'd have to wait for a cab, however long that would take to arrive.

I know I'd be responsible for anything that happened because of their ages, I looked on the nspcc website and it says children younger than 16 shouldn't look after other children, but then there's 'Annie's story' of a 14 year old who looks after a 6 and 8 year old which doesn't seem to be a problem .

Do people leave their older children to babysit when they go out for the evening or just during the day? And is this a good idea??
Thanks

Ds is only 10onths so can't answer from that perspective but from about 13 I'd babysit my dsis and friends who were 7 with no problems.

Of course.
Leave phones and make sure they know who to call in an emergency, rules about cooking and answering the door, perhaps let a reliable friendly neighbour know and have a lovely evening.

And I wasn't particularly sensible! Not with this but in general I was pretty immature!

nspcc is a suggestion/general advice NOT law

Of course.

It all spends on how yours get on together. I could leave my 15 yr old with either the 13 yr old of the 8 yr old but not both as the younger two have a tendency to bicker. For the same reason, I couldn't leave the 13 yr old with the 8 yr old. Unless the 8 yr old is asleep in bed in which case I can leave the lot of them!

Oh yes, at that age I definitely would. The responsibility will do them as much good as the night out will do you.

My almost 13yo dd is counting down the days until she is 14 as we have said that we will pay her for babysitting her younger siblings then (if she wants to).

I did ask her the other week if she wanted to look after her 5yo brother for 2 hours but she didn't feel she was ready yet.

I think as long as your dds are happy to do it, are confident that they will know what to do if there us a problem AND you offer to pay, then you should be ok.

I would. DD has been babysitting the neighbours DC (10 and 6 when she started) since she was 13.

I probably wouldn't until my eldest is 15 (she is 13 now) but I don't think there is anything wrong with babysitting at 14. Only you can decide as only you know your children. The fact that you have good neighbours and grandparents nearby also makes a difference.

Thanks, I think it would be ok I know my dds are they are sensible. I wouldn't let them cook or eat (!) but they'd know not to anyway and they know never to open the door, anyone that needs to come in has a key.
It just feels different because it's in the evening rather than the day, although there's more chance of people knocking at the door during the day.
I know (think) they would take it seriously and just sit together on the sofa. They know how to put ds to bed but also ds can get himself into bed.

I'd always thought that 15 would be a good age but how would they be suddenly responsible at 15 and 14 if I don't start giving them a bit of responsibility before that??

It's just if something were to happen!! Though even if they were 15 and 14 rather than 14 and 13 would they be able to cope any better just because they are a certain age of they haven't had to have any responsibility?

I think that's absolutely fine. If the restaurant is "just up the road" though, couldn't you walk home in the event of any problems, rather than try to arrange a taxi?

I would, but the first time I did it, I'd be tempted to do it from 7-9.30 or 7.30 - 10 to be perfectly honest.

It isn't always a question of age. If they are sensible and get on then it would be fine. If you have a neighbour that could be on call in an emergency that would help.

Figure of speech I think! I think of it as up the road but it's not it's in the town which would take 5 mins (or less) to drive to and back from and at that time of evening there's no traffic here. But to walk would be about 15 minutes which is why I'm worried that it would take too long to get back, if a cab wasn't available we'd have to wait.
But my next door neighbour who is joined onto our semi detach is a friend and I could tell her look be on hand which she'd do in a heartbeat but she might just wonder why I'm not getting a 'proper' babysitter for ds...

We couldn't go out earlier than 8, so we could do it 8 - 10.30...I'm beginning to think we should just stay in!!!!

My dd & ds are very close.

She would 'babysit' him if I had to go to the shop or something & they get on fine.

Dh & I recently had to be away for 30 mins together & ds wouldn't come, so he stayed at home with dd. No biggie.

She's almost 13 & he's almost 10 & she's incredibly ass licky & boring sensible & mature!