to worry about ds safety

[rockpaperscissorsstone]

So, I came home the other day and found dh had nodded off when looking after our 2 year old ds. We both work long hours and don't have any childcare support so we're both perpetually tired. Ds was quite happy playing next to him so no harm done, and he's not the most patient of toddlers so it couldn't have been for long. Aibu to be worried that ds' safety when he's being looked after by dh? I don't know if I am by or if so tired that I'm overreacting to everything! :(

Two years old is much too young to be left unsupervised. It doesn't matter how tired your dh is, he has to be responsible enough to not fall asleep if he is in charge. What did he say about it?

It depends whether he was actually sleeping or just closing his eyes. I have become a pro at been able to close my eyes and still remain quite aware of what's going on.

I used to nod off all the time when mine were little. I would have the TV on in the warm living room, children playing on floor, comfy sofa. Whoops -there goes 20/30 minutes.

It's tiring caring for children and working. People slip up. I am sure your DS was perfectly safe pottering around. I know i always woke a bit startled to find everything was just as it had been when i nodded off.

You can't spend your life worrying about little things like this or you will become a wreck.

He's asleep next to him so he'll surely wake if your ds moves? Are all dangerous things put away? I'm not sure what the big deal is, do you not sleep during the night so leave your child 'unsupervised', or does one of you stay awake all night incase your child wakes up and needs one of you?

He did say that he had just closed his eyes and was listening to ds playing next to him. He wouldn't normally leave him unsupervised - he is a very caring hands on dad. We do encourage ds to play independently while we do housework etc. I was more worried it happened again and ds had an accident or something. I think I am starting to worry too much, but I didn't want to down play the risk. Is this normal?

He's still in a got Sybil, so at least he's contained! I'm quite anal risk averse so no dangerous things lying around!

*cot

I used to sit ds next to me, put Cbeebies on the TV and have a nap. If he moved, I'd wake. 20 minutes can make a huge difference and it doesn't mean your child is in danger. You'd close the doors, put any medication away, put knives away, turn off the fire/use a guard anyway so what's the worst that could happen?

Realistically, what accident could he have?

Would your husband wake up & get to him quickly?

I get your concern, but it's not deliberate neglect, is it?

I would say you are being overly anxious too. As long as your house is child proofed and your DS is playing nearby and Dh had just closed his eyes it's fine.

When pg with DD2 and now pg with DD3 and still working long hours shutting DD1 and now both DDs in the living room with me with tv on low so I can hear and toys out then snoozing for a bit is the only way I cope!

This was why was wondering if I was getting carried away or if it was a genuine concern! I'm not really sure what I was worried would happen... We've got stair gates etc I think I'm too easily sucked in by media horror stories about blind cords and child snatching :)

I did this all the time in pregnancy. DS was nearly 3 during my first trimester but I was very ill and napping on the sofa was the only way I could cope. They wake you up if they need you, you don't fall deeply asleep and if the house is safe I don't think it's a problem.

I think being so annoyed about it is unfair, as long as the room is child proof then I don't see the problem. Fair enough if DS was wandering the house or if things were within his reach but this shouldn't be the case whether you are awake or not anyway.

It's okay to worry if it's not something you are used to. With DD1 I never slept if DH was on night feeds as I was paranoid about him sleeping and the first time I nappedin the day I felt awful.

Then I discovered MN, calmed a little was far more relaxed with DD2 and DD3 will basically have to drsg herself up

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm probably being a bit pfb. They were upstairs but ds would have only had access to our room and his, and neither of them have knives lying around or swinging live electrical cables :) I'm not used to this whole child rearing malarky. I hope it's easier next time if we get that far!

I used to regularly have a little snooze on the sofa whilst my DC's were playing or watching TV. They aren't the quietest of kids so I was always aware of what was going on. Those 10-15 mins would make a massive difference to me being able to power through the last part of the day!

What age were your DC dragon?

He's still in a got Sybil, so at least he's contained! I'm quite anal risk averse so no dangerous things lying around!

Don't count on it - mine managed to climb out of his cot about three weeks after his second birthday, having shown absolutely no signs of being able to until that point. I quite often intentionally have a nap when my son has got me up at 5am. I would happily leave him in the living room whilst I was cooking in the kitchen, so am probably more likely to know if he hurt himself etc whilst snoozing in the same room as him.

I dozed off all the time! My home was pretty safe - ds wouldn't have been able to get out, the tall bookshelves were fixed to the wall, I had cupboard locks where cleaning stuff was stored...

Seriously, it's not a big deal.

Mine are 6 and just turned 3. Once I discovered power napping with DC1 I never looked back.

I would sleep when pregnant and still like to drop off now if I can. It tends to be around half 2 when I need to start thinking about getting DC1 from school though!

I always lock the front door and make sure there's no knives in reach etc but they have both survived unscathed.

DS used to get up at around 5.30 most mornings so being a bone idle loving parent I would put his favourite Thomas DVD on, sit him on the sofa withe and go back to sleep
I wouldn't worry, long blinks are sometimes very hard to fight off.

Like ploppy, when DS wakes in the morning we put on cbeebies, plonk DS between us in bed and go back to sleep for a bit longer.

I remember putting ds into his play pen which was next to his high chair. I turned around and the next minute he was in his high chair Scared the life out of me as the floor had thick tiles and what if he had fallen?

Cebeebies nap works. Put them on the sofa next to you, put one arm around them for a cuddle and drift off. If they move, you wake up. As long as you're sensible about the other hazards in the house, just incase, then there's really no need to worry More accidents happen when a parent is knackered to be honest, so it's better to stick on the TV and catch 40 winks.

Thanks everyone... Its good to hear everyone else's stories! I don't really have anyone round me who have children to chat to about this kind of thing. Good ol' mumsnet! I am a bit of a worry wart and I've nagged at dh so much about this.

It's OK to worry. It gets easier