to be pissed wth dh

[MysweetAudrina]

Its Ds5 birthday today. As agreed with dh I left his presents at the end of his bed to open this morning which he has done. Yesterday was his party agreed by me and dh but last week dh was asked to work at the election count. We had a slight argument at the time as he had known about this but hadn't mentioned when I booked the party. He started work at 8 yesterday morning and is still not home. It is 8am now and I am due in college at 10am this morning. I have an exam next week this is my last day in. Even if he arrives home now I can't leave the kids with him and what kind of day will ds have. We usually have a family tea party in the evening to celebrate birthdays but the younger kids aged 6 and 5 aren't going to be looked after properly. ( he just rang he is on his way home can't see what the fuss is) in roi by the way.

Has he been working?

If he can't see a problem then leave him to it.

Yes def working. Doesn't drink or go out at all.

You must go to college. Don't be a martyr. DH wasn't out partying, he was working at a non moveable event.
DCs can have a DVD/ pizza day and/ or you can come in with take away.

I don't see how/why you think the children won't be looked after properly?

Cause he will sleep and they will left on their own until he wakes up.

It's a lose-lose situation, but I don't think it's DH's fault, tbh. He was working, you have work to do. Can someone take the children out for a couple of hours so he can grab some sleep while you're out?

Not at this short notice. We have older kids but they are working/away atm so not around. He could have come home but chose to stay he said he forgo j had college but he knew full well. He is like a big kid when he gets no sleep at least a week of irrational behaviour and everything being everyone else's fault. Also I am due period so I know that is not helping my view point.

So you are pissed off because he is working.

Let him deal with it.

I think you should just go to college. Your ds will be fine. He can play or watch TV in your bedroomOr snuggle down in bed with his daddy.

He works Mon - Fri. I work full time too. We don't need extra money. He said he would be home around 10pm but in Ireland the count through the night. I am pissed off cause he isn't capable of looking after the kids. I can hear him already downstairs shouting at them to be quiet.

So they have a day watching TV?
As I said don't be a martyr.

OK thanks will have a shower and go in. I am on course to do well in this exam got 75.5 in mock last week. Its ACCA and tough paper so I need to be there today.

Good luck with it. I'm going to go ACCA once I've finished my AAT.

Def go in, don't be a martyr and let him deal with the fall out and it'll make him think twice about what the consequences of his decisions are for next time. Win win

YANBU to be annoyed

He was doing optional additional work and didn't consider how that would impact on you and the children when he agreed to it. He also knew about it in advance of you both making party plans but didn't let you know when discussing plans for the day.

If it is a one off then probably best to let it go - focus on your course and let him deal with home.

If it is a pattern, still go focus on your work now but think about how to instigate a calm discussion about what needs to happen next time - and what the consequences of him continuing not to consider these things will be long term. Because he can't just agree to things and then opt out of family life because he's tired or leave you to sort it all out.

Glad you're going in, good luck with your exam

Thanks for the replies. I went and was able to leave early because I had my questions finished quickly. He had contacted ds20 and he was here when I got home. Dh had gone out with did to pick up a cake. I did a quick shop and sent him to bed for a few hours before we have tea party.

Joysmum I did acct tech nearly 20 years ago. I did a few other bits and pieces and got exemptions from 5 ACCA papers. Am sitting F6 taxation next week I love it and hope to do well. Good luck with. AAT.

Glad I went in and kids survived were quite happy :-)

I'm so pleased. Hope you had a lovely day and good luck!