To think if you find people are constantlying funny with you, it might be you?

[angelos02]

Woman at work moans to me every day that someone has been 'off' with her. I have worked at the company for over 10 years & never had issue with any of them. How do I tell her that it is her that needs to moderate her temperament?

Tbh, I would not tell her that it's her. When people are like this, they believe it's everyone but them, nothing you can do and say will change how they think. Best you not get too close to her, just now it will be you she's talking about.

Well you can't. Not without her saying that you are off with her.

I would perhaps just keep saying "that's odd they're always fine with me".

Dont say anything, youll just ba another one of them.
Also, this isnt an aibu.

My friends sister has had loads of jobs which she always leaves because she's being bullied, now this must be awful to be bullied at work but this must be over ten jobs she's left so I think it must be her.

One of my favourite saying is ;

If you meet an arse in the morning , you've met an arse.
If you meet arses all day long ,YOU are the arse.

I tend to quote it to people at work (only the ones I know will take it the right way) when they moan all day long about people they have dealt with.

I work with someone like that. She's become toxic tbh.

She is now claiming she is the victim of bullying and twisting everyone's words and actions to back up these claims when it is in fact her trying to intimidate and bully other staff.

It started as people being 'off' with her, now she's started dragging up conversations from years ago that she's twisted and, in her head, convinced they meant something else.

No-one can reason with her. I've defended someone who has been accused as being 'off' with her just because she didn't say good morning. I explained she was going through a painful break up and she had a lot on her mind. The 'victim' then accused me of saying it was her fault and she was the problem. I said nothing of the sort.

If I were you OP, I'd stay well clear.

I shared a thing on facebook earlier that said "The way people treat you is a statement about who they are as a human being, it is not a statement about you"
I thought it was so true, as someone who is constantly getting let down by people I was beginning to think I must be a really horrible person that nobody likes!

YANBU. I know so so many 'Everyone is mean to meeee' people. My sister is one of them and she was hell to grow up with. Everyone was always staring at her, talking about her, being funny with her etc.

You couldn't sneeze without being accused of doing it to spite her.

Don't try 'regulate' her. It'll always be you. Never her.

Sorry, moderate not regulate!

If people demonstrate such a lack of insight, i.e. they don't themselves wonder if/why they are the common denominator, then they're really not going to take it well hearing it from someone else.

You'll just be added to the list of people that are bullying/victimising/being off with them.

Just keep making non-committal hmmm noises at her whenever she starts, then either make an excuse to walk away or change the subject.

I have a rule that if more than 2 people annoy me by 10 o'clock it's almost certainly me that's the arse.

Do you work in a school kitchen by any chance?!

But on a serious note yanbu and yes some people need to adjust their own temperament

I had a friend at uni who was constantly moving flats, wherever she went there was some angst with the flat,antes -I only heard her side of the story and after a few times I would make the sympathetic noises but reckoned it was probably her not them - she moved about 3-4 times per academic year. She was a lovely friend (so glad I never lived with her!) but a bit highly strung and seemed to have strange episodes - almost delusions or hallucinations where she thought something was happening (eg on a ferry she started panicking saying the captain had her passport and she was v upset ) so it is possible it was a mh issue.