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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be unhappy with what DD is eating

9 replies

CheeryBakewell · 24/05/2014 10:57

Just over a month ago I started working late (6pm) 3x a week. My DD(11)now spends these afternoons being looked after by her best friend's mum. I found out yesterday that they go to McDonalds almost every time, as well as having other junk food snacks.

DD's best friend and her sister are swimmers. Both parents made it to the commonwealth games but didn't reach the Olympics, so lives being lived through kids and what not. They swim every morning from 6.15-8am and afternoons from 4-6. Understandably, they need their food! DD is very happy to watch the swimming training and will usually get on with some homework or something but they always go to McDonalds straight after. I understand that perhaps the mum feels she can't leave DD out if she is getting food for her two, but DD told me that she once said how she knew dinner would be waiting for her at home to which the mum replied "oh well some chips won't hurt!" I did casually bring it up with her, and said how I don't really want her having two dinners (I didn't actually mention McDonald's incase she thought I was judging her or whatever) so just said she has dinner waiting for her at home. To which she replied "ok fair enough. But DD plays hockey 4x a week so I'm sure it won't hurt her."

This annoyed me because she's assuming I don't want her eating McDonald's because of weight gain... As we all know weight gain is merely a by product or a bad diet! I don't want her eating McDonald's 3x a week because it's horrible for her, in all ways. I understand that with the amount of exercise her DDs do they need to eat a lot but IMO I don't see why it can't be a lot of healthy stuff. DD eats well but you present an 11 year old with the option of chicken nugget and chips knowing they'd "only" be getting some fish pie later, you know which they'll chose.

And to make it worse they're always given chocolate and sweets when picked up from school. And not little things either! I'm talking slickers bars, kit kat chunkies, Mars bars. I give DD after school snacks but again, apple or mars bar?

I know I probably sound very judgemental over what she feeds her kids. And I also understand that it may be tricky giving your children all these yummy things and saying to my DD "sorry your mum said no." Of course she shouldn't have to change what she is feeding her children just so mine doesn't feel left out but I don't know how to approach this. Should I just sit down with DD and discuss it? What do I say? And I know some of you may say I should look into another after school option but she really does seem to enjoy watching them swim. Plus she gets a fair amount of homework done as she's not distracted by other friends being around etc.

Any insight here would be really helpful :) thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 24/05/2014 11:02

Tbh it's a short term thing
Your dd will get bored of watching the swimming & will want to hang with other friends or go home by herself & let herself in
But when she's in town on her own unless you limit her money she'll be buying herself all kinds of junk crap

CheeryBakewell · 24/05/2014 11:04

Wow sorry did not mean to post this 5 times! Connection kept failing. Hopefully other posts will be deleted.

OP posts:
CheeryBakewell · 24/05/2014 11:06

Letting herself in isn't really an option. We live pretty far from the school with no direct bus route. She was going to change schools when we moved to somewhere closer but she was so happy there. But the public transport issue is a pain

OP posts:
Trollsworth · 24/05/2014 11:07

Her kids need the calories, and your kid doesn't. The only other option is to find some childcare. You have NO right to dictate what someone else feeds their children.

CheeryBakewell · 24/05/2014 11:09

Trollsworth that's exactly what I said... :/

OP posts:
HeyJules · 24/05/2014 11:14

Trollsworth that is exactly what OP said.. Not sure there was any need for that comment.

It does seem strange that a mum who cares so much about her children's fitness cares so little about their health. If getting home by herself isn't an option then maybe cut down to one day a week, and find a club or something for the other 2?

prisonerofallisurvey · 24/05/2014 11:19

Would it be an idea for your dd to get a taxi home from school on the days you are working. I think an 11 year old would be fine at home until you get home from work.

trashcanjunkie · 24/05/2014 11:29

Stick to your guns, give dd a packet tea to take and have a good talk with her about why it's important. It doesn't need to become an issue with the other family, they obviously don't get what's wrong, and you don't need to educate them.

trashcanjunkie · 24/05/2014 11:29

packed not packet!

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