AIBU to not want to throw potatoes away because they are actually alive and living?

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My poor abandoned potatoes . They have grown shouts and leaves and are obviously alive.

Should I plant them somewhere? I don't have a garden but have a balcony so I could maybe plant them in a flowerbox or similar?

I cant't throw them away it would be like throwing away a kitten

Am I missing something here - if you think that cooking and eating potatoes and onions is murder, why do you have them in the first place?

Anyway, in answer to you question - plant them in a pot. Potatoes grow anywhere. I currently have a magnificent crop growing in the sweepings from the wood shed. Glares in direction of DH who was supposed to move said sweepings into woods.

Release them into the wild. Watch as they take their first tentative step into the English countryside. Behold that beautiful moment where they make that decision to be where they belong, giving you one last thankful glance over their shoulder before they set of with a wild heard of potatoes. Play when that moment comes.

You will also need to think of an alternative means of disposal (or rather dispersal) of faeces.

The sorts of plants that want dispersal via ingestion then defaecation deserve just as much a chance as potatoes, onions and other members of the allium family.

Do you have a nearby wood to poo in?

Sprouting potatoes freak me out. I get that horrible initial sense of danger and disgust you do when you see a maggot, spider or things with little holes in (or maybe it's just me).

I tried growing potatoes in a bin once, I nurtured and watered them, earthed them up lovingly, I got 4 marble sized new potatoes. 4, they cost £8 in compost so the most expensive potatoes ever.