That I'm upset about something DP said or as it's truth should I accept it?

[FatUglyMum]

I have a young baby of 5 months old and since becoming pregnant to now I'm 2 stone heavier than what I was then. I've never been my ideal weight and have struggled my whole life with weight and self esteem issues but last year I was a little bit happy with my weight and appearance although it still wasn't ideal. My partner told me about 3 years ago that he wanted me to lose weight as he basically didn't feel attracted to me, so although it hurt, I knew I was overweight and I tried to lose some and I did. This afternoon, the issue came up of weight and he basically said again that he wants me to lose the weight, he doesn't feel I care about myself and that's selfish as it affects him. Maybe he is right but it still hurts and even more so that I've had a baby and since the turn of the year I've lost half a stone, I am trying in my own way but I think he expects me to be hardcore about it when actually I take time to lose weight. I hate and always have hated my body so I wonder if this is making me feel so hurt by his comments or should I just man up (as they say) and accept truth I'm fat, unattractive and undesirable

I usually think people's houdo take their partners views into account with things like this. Weight does affect the person you are committed to because of health and attractiveness, and it generally think it's unfair when people gain a huge amount of weight and then get annoyed with their partner when they are told they are no longer as attractive.

But you have a five month old baby, and you are losing weight! So because of that, I think your DP is being a ignorant insensitive twat.

YAB very very U to use that user name and to listen to stupid ignorant selfish partner, who should be appreciating you and supporting you at this time, caring for a tiny baby.

Don't accidentally let his name and address slip out, people will be queueing up outside your door to slap him.

Does your husband have Body Dysmorphic Disorder or some other form of eating dysfunction ?

Why his morbid interest in your weight, to the extent it is killing your relationship ?

he needs psychiatric help

You on the other hand, are neither fat nor ugly and sound perfectly normal to me

OP, your husband sounds unreasonable and insensitive. And as others have said, please change your user name.

WTF? You've just had a baby, and he thinks you should be dieting, and for you not too is selfish?

What a cock.

Does he have any redeeming features? Something tells me he doesn't do his share of childrearing and housework, or he'd have a better idea of how hard life with a little baby is.

Loving partners do not say things like this.

So, you have posted about this twat before, right ?

And receive the same kind of replies

and still you post under this username

are you listening at all, or is it only his voice you hear ?

Tell him why his comments are hurtful to you and point out that it is much better in the long run for you lose weight at a steady, reasonable pace. He needs to realize that intensive all-out blizt diets/extreme workout regimes ultimately fail for most people because they are simply not sustainable. Your life will become all about the diet/exercise regime and at a certain point real life will have to be attended to. Slower and steady is maintainable.

What teamedward said! It may be important to feel attracted to your partner, but you clearly feel sensitive already about your body and he can't take his head out of his arse long enough to see how hurtful his words are. As others have said, he might be turned off by a slightly bigger you, but how on earth does he expect you to be attracted to someone who seems to expect you to be an emotionless sex toy? I hope you know yanbu.

For goodness sake change your user name. Lovelynewmumwithtwatofahusband sounds more accurate to me.