WIBU to ask my neighbour to try and keep her dogs a bit more quiet?

[Caff2]

Our neighbour (who I like and we socialise with them occasionally, generally get on fairly well with) has lots of dogs. Well four now, as they recently got a puppy. The dogs have always gone mental barked a lot when anyone goes past (country lane so lots of bikes, walkers etc), and we've just put up with it.

Since the puppy came it is a hundred times worse. The barking started this morning at 6 am when she let them out into the garden, waking my toddler up, which is annoying as he is going through a crap sleep phase and is often up in the night.

I'm starting to really resent the noise which happens all the time, but she is quite a "doggy" person, and critical of anyone who's not crazy about dogs, and got quite huffy with a passer by who remarked on the barking.

WIBU to approach her and ask her if she could try to stop the noise before say 8 in the morning? She goes to work about half past eight.

Ywnbu

If she goes to work at 8am then I dont see what she could do because they need feeding and walking / let out in the garden for a while before she goes.

Sorry 8:30

If the puppy is new, perhaps things will improve after a little while, when it is used to its new home?

I get why it's annoying, but I'd wait it out if I were you - the puppy will improve with time. At present, it's probably annoying her even more than you - puppy ownership is generally miserable for adults - so she's likely to be a bit sensitive about the matter, no matter how nice you are about it.

You have a toddler who you say is "going through a crap sleep phase" at present, and in due course he'll most likely go through a decade long "noisy play phase", followed by a "loud music playing, largely nocturnal phase", followed by a "parking in annoying places" phase, before eventually leaving home.

I'm sure you cut her some slack on the basis that you like her and you expect that she's doing her best to limit the inconvenience which her life choices cause you, and it's probable that she's doing the same in return. In the long term, the mutual understanding will benefit you more than her, so I wouldn't risk spoiling that for the sake of an issue that will almost definitely only get better in its own time.

Hope it will improve, but the puppy has been there three months now. I don't want to offend her and she can be quite touchy (takes offence at things people have said quite easily etc) but the barking is getting me down a bit - four dogs can be quite loud, I've discovered!

Well, it's unlikely that four happy dogs will ever be very quiet together, but based on the timing it's likely that they'll be a bit less loud when the puppy is older. The pup is probably about 7 months now - they tend to quieten down a bit by 10 months, and they calm down hugely between 1 and 2 years of age. Some breeds are just barky though - do you know what she has?

Oh sorry, missed your post MsTwankey - yes, we do generally do a give and take sort of relationship (we both have much older children too) - maybe the dog barking issue is winding me up more though as I am a bit sleep deprived and a (reluctant) SAHM for the first time so a bit sensitive about the noise.

I'm sure if you asked she'd sit the dogs down and have a stern word with them about keeping the noise down.

I don't know what the first three are (dog ignoramus) but sort of big, medium big and little Jack Rusell type of dog. The new one is a cocker spaniel. Or a springer spaniel. A bouncy spaniel anyway!

when I worked as an EHO we got more complaints about barking dogs than any other noise. it can be a stat nuisance but I would always advise trying to sort things out informally first. not sure MsTwanky how you equate dog ownership with having a child but hey I am not a great dog lover so perhaps that's why I would do something sooner rather than later. are the dogs left alone a lot? are they are bit bored is this why they are barking? would have a chat with her informally now personally.

YANBU. 6am is far too early for dogs to be making noise and to be honest I pop my dogs back in at any other time of the day when they are simply just barking for the fun of it (and I have had 4 dogs at the same time, two of them very yappy). Maybe have a gentle word with her about the timing and your toddler's sleep and see how it goes - duspites with neighbours are awful things.

mummymeister - Small children and teens can be annoying to live next to (regardless of how considerate their parents are), usually in far more ways than domesticated animals over the course of their development. Yes, their standing in law is different, but why on earth would anybody risk the (almost inevitable) bad feeling, inconvenience, emotional distress, etc of escalating to an official dispute if a bit of "give-and-take" between otherwise good neighbours can avoid all of that?

Caff2 - Sleep deprivation and "cabin fever" definitely won't help, but puppies are generally annoying even at the best of times. My DB got one after I left home, and it drove me nuts on my monthly weekend visits for months, but he did get much better at about 10 months old and is very quiet now.

Personally, I'd definitely give it a little time and then re-evaluate things if the situation hasn't improved by the time the pup's a year old, since your neighbour is touchy. Could you move your toddler to a different room, if it's routinely waking him up? You might find that a white noise machine or a little water feature would help to tune the barking out a bit in the meantime. I can hear a lot of animal noise from my home (hundreds of cows and chickens next door), but I don't even notice it if my water feature is running. I know you shouldn't feel that you have to do any of this, but if you want to keep good neighbourly relations then it's probably worth it in the short-term!

Thanks for advice MsTwankey. I can't really move him but I could try a white noise thing or water feature (except I don't really know what a water feature is except for a garden, but I'm willing to try anything!)

The dogs are really very annoying and worse now than they've ever been, but I really don't want to fall out with neighbours (we've only got three, we're VERY rural!).

I don't know about dogs really, or what they need, but I sort of thought they could come out and do their business at eight half an hour before she starts work, rather than 6!

I will admit to saying oh for fuck's sake "Oh dear!" when they woke my small one up this morning

Oh I feel for you sooo much. We had just the one dog who was perfect, then we got a puppy who loved to bark at anything......it wasn't a problem in our house at the time but we then moved to a built up area and my neighbour hated it.....she went on and on at me to the point where I was at breaking point as I could hear her barking, I didn't need reminding everyday as I was doing everything I possibly could to stop it......but the lady across the road asked me if she could help with the barking, maybe if she introduced herself to the dog then she wouldn't bark at her....I found that a much nicer way of approaching me as we worked together with a few other neighbours but nothing worked and in the end I re homed her but I only did it because of next door if I'm honest. She was quiet in the mornings and through the night though, it was just during the day when there was noise outside.
You could always ask her if you could help, one of my neighbours put some stones in a bottle and whenever the puppy barked she shuck it and said quiet.....I also tried it, work together and it might work.......I know it's a pain but it beats falling out with her!
Good luck and big hugs x

Caff2 - You're welcome . I sympathise - I grew up with very touchy neighbours and it led to a horrible atmosphere, with the result that 20 years down the line they're still complaining to my parents about ridiculously trivial things. My first set of neighbours when I moved out of home were dreadful (very noisy) and things got much worse after we spoke to them about it. My new neighbours are absolutely lovely, and I thank heaven for it every day - it makes such a difference to have people next door who are pleasant, understanding, and helpful (and obviously we do everything we can to reciprocate)!

The water feature I have is a bit like this. It won't drown the dogs out, but it makes them easier to tune out as it's no longer a case of silence punctuated by sudden noises.

You can get little white noise machines too, or get a recording and put it on a loop. You might find that it would help your DS to sleep through other noises, too. I used to play white noise tracks at night when I lived in a flat with clompy, shouty, nocturnal neighbours upstairs, and it definitely did the trick!

Has she always let the dogs out at 6am? I'm just wondering because puppies have very little bladder control, so it may be that she's letting them out earlier because he can only hold on until then. DB's only started being able to go through the night (from 11pm until 6.30am) at about 10 or 11 months, and he'd be very distressed if we didn't let him out as soon as he woke up. If that's the case, she may naturally start letting the dogs out later as the pup gets older.

How long is she at work? Leaving four dogs shut in all day will result in lots of barking.

It's not fair on them and it's bloody awful to live next door to.

YANBU. Your neighbour sounds totally inconsiderate. It's not your problem that she leaves for work at 8.30 etc. If she's not in a position to look after the dogs properly and make sure they're not being a nuisance to neighbours then she shouldn't have them.

Also, its all very well for her to be 'touchy' and sensitive, but that only works if you're equally sensitive towards other people. Taking offence easily while being totally inconsiderate towards others is a very handy way to go through life.

The six am thing is new, so I expect it is because of the puppy then. I am generally quite a calm person - I don't like dogs myself very much as I'm a bit scared of them but have had to get used to them living in the middle of nowhere where every man and his uncle has about three!

The other thing is that since the puppy came they've had an out house done up and the dogs can go in and out of there all day rather than before she used to come home at lunch time and let them out and then let them out in the evening when she got home, so it's all day now rather than just intermittently.

I guess on the plus side, they'll scare any intruders off!

Ooh sorry, I missed your post about breeds. If her new one is a springer and he's not getting the opportunity to exercise lots then he may well stay noisy, I'm afraid - they're high-energy working dogs and generally need a lot of stimulation . There's a springer at my workplace and I'm absolutely in love with him, but I know I won't be able to keep up with the needs of one of those while I'm still on this side of retirement!

Oops, cross-posts! It sounds like they've got enough space to exercise and enough stimulation between them, so you may be in luck regarding him quietening down with age. The springer I know is part of a group of about 5 dogs who wander freely about the site, and he's very quiet and beautifully behaved (but always on the go). You may be in luck .

Some dogs are happy to be left with the run of the garden all day long. Others aren't. And the whole dynamic in a group of dogs will change when one leaves or joins.

She may not be aware of just how often her dogs are going off on a demented barking fit while she's out.

The early start at the moment is almost certainly because the puppy really can't hold on any longer, and should improve as he gets older.

Oh GOD Ms Twankey, I'm going off you!! . It IS a Springer, I asked her about twenty minutes ago!