To bring up proms?

[Bambambini]

Just realise my eldest is just a few years away from Prom fever. My friend has a daughter and we were discussing it, she is worried about being able to keep up with all that is usually expected as finances are tight and she doesn't want her daughter to feel left out.

Have no experience of this but will in two years - so what is normal cost wise so I can be prepared. My friend seems to think quite a few girls spend way over 500 pounds all in.

AIBU to think this is way OTT and out pressure on other parents and children?

Some girls spend over £500 some probably spend £50. You can't tell the difference on the day.

I have a son, can imagine it's a different ball game for the girls. Glad we won't be expected to pay out 500 quid. Just wondered what people actually do spend.

Second hand dress, new pair of New Look shoes (15), and a hairdresser. That's about all you need to spend. My DDs (new) long dress was 80 from Debenhams, if that helps.
You might not even need the hairdresser depending on the length of DDs hair, and her abiltiy to do it herself, or get a friend to do it.

Meant to add - my DD borrowed jewelry and a handbag. No point in splashing out on something you'll only wear once.

£500 is a lot of money for what is essentially a school dance.

A lot of parents go OTT with proms and go all out with:

-professional tan
-Mani/pedi

• hair cut/ dry and styled

-professional make up

• dress

-tiara -heels -corsage -limousine

When in reality you could get away with just the dress, corsage and shoes.

I'm sure many girls (or their parents) do spend over £500 on their prom. My DDs didn't.
One hired a dress, the other got one from TKMaxx. Shoes were sandals which could be worn again.
They did their own hair and make up.
They shared the cost of the obligatory limo. Think it was about £15-20 each. They arranged one pick up only which made it cheaper. I say obligatory, but at DDs school they have a prize for the most unusual mode of transport. Some students arrive on Dad's tractor, by tandem, some boys bounced into the car park on space hoppers.
It is called a prom to make it sound fancy but it's really just the school dance.

My parents gave us £400 to buy the dress,shoes, bag etc.
It depends on your daughter, what style of dress she fancies how much it will cost.
For example, debenhams do some nice dresses but if your daughter is short or tall etc you may need to get one made or go to a specialist shop.

Mine have fallen in the £100-150 bracket. I have one in July which is for sixth form so additional costs involved but the total budget including drinks and hotel, prom ticket, after party ticket, outfit, hair etc is capped at £300 but I don't think it'll be that much in the end dress came in below budget, hotel is below budget. This is my 5th prom in 5 years.

thank god this is my last prom for a good few years

My dd's dress cost £90 from ebay (incl delivery). I spent about £43 on shoes and a bag and £5 on a necklace she liked. She did her own hair and make up. Her dad took her to school where coaches were provided to take them to the venue.

A friend's dd got her dress from TK Max for £40. I don't know what else she spent.

Fifty quid on a second hand pink wedding dress from eBay. Fantastic dress. Did own hair, borrowed my shoes. Spray tan £16, nails she paid for herself. Limo hire split between eight children £20 each.

Thank God for that! That all seems so much more reasonable and doable!

Some do that but many get dresses off ebay etc.

My daughter had lift so no limo (left it too late to book anyway)
Did own hair and make up style, no spray tan or nails done
Shoes 27.00
Dress 80.00
jewellery 20.00
clutch 10.00
highlights 60.00

ticket itself was 30.00 and photos 10.00 each, both grandparents contributed towards costs, their choice.

Dreading when my twins hit that age!!

Our school had a 'leaving dinner'. My mother made dresses for us younger ones, my older sister made her own. Shoes were bought cheaply, or borrowed. Now, I don't sew but I'd definitely encourage my DD to do it in the same spirit. That way the event is about having fun, not obsessing over what you're wearing and not ruining it.

Look for dresses in the summer/autumn before when the prom dresses have gone in the sale and before Christmas party season! DD1 had a sale dress from Debenhams Debut range (this was 6 years ago so not sure if still a reasonable price range, but it was an £80 dress down to £50). Shoes were nice party shoes that she wore again for nights out (silver sandals). Handbag was Primark, bought a pretty silver hairband (not full on tiara but smart) from Claire's for about a tenner. She wasn't fussed on transport as she quite sensibly realised that once you've got out of the car then it doesn't matter! She went in a friend's parents' car - they decided to go with the one that looked smartest so his Merc beat our Espace!

My son had his leavers day prom last year. He and 9 mates shared a top of the line Hummer limo for £65 each, and we found him a really well fitting suit, shirt and tie from Moss Bros which cost about £120 to buy. If anyone has a teenage son I'd really recommend Moss bros, I admit I thought they were a bit fuddy duddy and only did wedding hire, but their fitters really knew their stuff and knew what sizes to try on a still growing teen and they are surprisingly 'on trend' and used to dealing with prom wear. We tried all the usual places, Next, Burtons etc and could not find a suit that fitted half as well.

dtds are yr 10 so this is all for next summer...

The other set of twins in their class have invited them to share their dad's ongoing project car, it's a nineteen thirties era open top tourer! Currently in pieces in their garage, but he swears blind it'll be done in time

Just spend what you can afford op. Some people spend 500 pounds for a dress that looks like it costs 50 and vice versa.

We're a good few years off it as DD is only 9 but her friend's sister had hers last year and there's so much hype around the whole thing she's aware of the significance.

My friend's DD's dress cost more than my wedding dress. Within a week of her prom she was saying she thought she'd gone OTT (the 16yo, not mum!) and now they have been trying for months to sell it and had no luck.

If my DD was doing it now, I'd be budgeting about £250 all in. I think you could buy/hire a great dress and have plenty of extras without going OTT for that.

When the time comes I will set her a budget & tell her that if there's any left she can keep it for the summer hols. Hopefully that will encourage her to be a bit more sensible about the whole thing.

I actually spent about twice as much on my son's suit as I did on my daughter's dress and twice on the shoes as well. He also needed a shirt and tie. On the plus side, although it was a "going out" suit, he has worn it a couple of times since.

Dds dress was 70 pou ds online her shoes were sparkly doodahs from primark tenner she borrowed a bag from my sister and school put a coach on dd2s is next year she is stupidly excited about it prom cost as much or as little as you are oreoared to pay

Yy to debenhams after prom wedding season and before christmas dd got hers in the sale

DD got a gorgeous Ghost dress from tkmax £60 , shoes in the sale £15, I will do her make up and her hair is being done in a hairdressers for £20.. Ticket £25.

The cost has been spread a fair bit as we got the dress in Feb

Sorry im on my tablet trying to get used to the bloody thing dd paid for her own hair and make up from birthday money tbh when you see all the kids together nobody can tell what was spent well I couldn't they all looked great

Surely you just spend what you can afford rather than there being a 'normal' amount

It doesn't have to cost a fortune. I gave DD £50 budget for the dress and she was very happy with that. Our local TK Maxx was a goldmine of choice, apparently but she also toyed with the idea of getting something made to measure from China for around £35. (we've done this before with excellent results.)