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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should still be entitled to paternity leave if you change jobs while your partner is expecting?

28 replies

Fedupofplaystation · 22/05/2014 09:28

I am currently 15 weeks pregnant.

DH has started to really dislike his job, to the point where he wants to look to change employers. He comes home really miserable each day.

If he were to get a new job now, my understanding is that he would not be entitled to time off for paternity leave.

I accept it may be unfair to expect a new employer to pay anything towards paternity leave but, as it's an important time for bonding with the new baby and supporting it's mother (I will be having a C-section), I'd have thought unpaid leave should still be possible.

It just seems like fathers contribution after the birth is not valued.

Couldn't there be some sort of system, like maternity allowance, where if the father is continuously employed, albeit by different employers, they're still entitled to 2 weeks of leave?

OP posts:
hotair · 22/05/2014 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chivesmum · 22/05/2014 09:57

Totly agree - hubs changed his job while I was pg three years ago mainly for more security and more money all to help him support his child. Was then penalised by not being entitled to paternity leave although his new employers let him have a week off unpaid. I still think him going back so soon (Ds was born on the Monday - didn't get home from hospital till late Tuesday so we only really had three days extra together) was partly responsible for the difficulties I had bf.

Hope ur hubs can work something out

evertonmint · 22/05/2014 10:14

My DH moved jobs when I was about 20 weeks pregnant and also got the employer to honour his paternity leave, in the same way new employers will often honour holidays already booked.

He should ask. They might not give him any enhanced benefits they offer but they may well let him take it unpaid.

Chachah · 22/05/2014 10:21

totally agree with you.

my dh changed jobs when I was pregnant, and his new employer wouldn't give him paternity leave (as was their legal right). They did agree to let him work from home some of the time, though.

WilsonFrickett · 22/05/2014 10:22

You need 26 weeks service iirc, so the maths doesn't add up in your case Sad - I agree with pp's either get him to honour it in the same way you'd ask a new employer to honour previously booked holidays. Or indeed, tell them you have a holiday booked? If you're having a Csection you'll know the date...

Amateurish · 22/05/2014 12:23

Yes this happened to me. It's wrong and discriminatory. A woman in this position would still be entitled to maternity allowance.

Thurlow · 22/05/2014 12:29

Is he entitled to unpaid leave? I think with a lot of employers for maternity leave you only get very basic statutory maternity leave if you are new there. Gov.uk suggests the rules for paternity leave are similar to maternity leave:

To be eligible you must have worked for your employer continuously for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth (known as the ‘qualifying week’).

I'm not sure what basic maternity allowance a woman who hasn't reached eligibility criteria for maternity leave gets - in theory he should hopefully get similar?

Caitlin17 · 22/05/2014 13:03

If you change jobs whilst pregnant you will not qualify for SMP.

To be honest I think starting a new job and then almost immediately expecting paid paternity leave is a bit of a brass neck.

deminedprincess · 22/05/2014 13:17

note that paternity leave isn't generally given at full pay, it's the stat amount of about £150 pw?

Original poster
Fedupofplaystation · 22/05/2014 13:48

I don't think he should be paid, although a woman who moves jobs would still be entitled to maternity allowance (which is pretty much the same as SMP), I just think he should be entitled to the two weeks off, unpaid.

The new employer would be completely within their rights to not allow any time off after the baby is born.

We are currently in a position where he's found an advertised job that would be perfect for him and he is miserable where he is, but I am terrified about not having him at home after the birth. I'm having a c-section and already have a toddler.

It may be worth applying for the job and, if offered, discuss the likelihood of the new employer honouring paternity leave prior to accepting.

OP posts:
Thurlow · 22/05/2014 14:02

In that case, I would say he should go for the interview but just tell them that he has a baby due and would really like two weeks leave.

Amateurish · 22/05/2014 15:44

But why shouldn't he be paid a paternity allowance on the same basis that a woman gets paid maternity allowance?

In my case, I had already accepted a new job and handed in my notice when I found out my partner was pregnant. So it wasn't as if I could have negotiated anything at interview.

Squidstirfry · 22/05/2014 15:51

I agree that paternity and maternity pay should be legally the same. I think they are the Scandinavian countries, it just makes more sense.

Original poster
Fedupofplaystation · 22/05/2014 20:47

I do think that fathers should get paternity allowance, just as women get maternity allowance and think it's quite discriminatory that this is not yet the case.

However, I'm even more shocked that they're not even entitled to the time. These are men who've worked and paid taxes throughout the pregnancy, but just happen to have changed employer.

I imagine this is a problem for quite a few men as many people start re-evaluating what they want from their career when they're about to become a parent.

OP posts:
NearTheWindymill · 22/05/2014 20:55

It is wrong and discriminatory but do you know when I had my DC (they are 19 and nearly 16) there was NO paternity leave and Maternity Leave was 6 months and you had to have two years' of continuous service with an employer to qualify for it.

Sometimes I think the sense of entitlement is absolutely absurd. On the one hand this generation complains about the price of property and cost of living and lambasts those of my generation. Yet there isn't a thought for what we didn't have that those nowadays do have. That's what makes me really cross. Perhaps reflect a little.

Original poster
Fedupofplaystation · 22/05/2014 21:06

This generation complains about the price of property and cost of living and lambasts those of my generation. Yet there isn't a thought for what we didn't have that those nowadays do have.

This is such a sweeping generalisation. I, and no-one I know lambasts those of your generation (not that I know which generation that is, or do you know which generation I am from).

Should we not question something that is discriminatory, just because it was even worse previously?

OP posts:
DippyEggNSolders · 22/05/2014 21:10

agree with windy perhaps reflect on the good that you have; many of the laws in place are recent (last 10 years) and come from the European Parliament / Union, campaigned for by parenting groups etc. perhaps you could get involved for further rights OP?

During an interview, dp says he has pre-booked holiday, can it be honoured. Simples.

Paternity paid leave is normally a statutory amount (unless enhanced) at c£130 a week. Most of our staff take holiday if they're not eligible (im in HR) We'd be a harsh employer if we refused the time off when they've just become a dad.

DippyEggNSolders · 22/05/2014 21:13

X posts

Should we not question something that is discriminatory, just because it was even worse previously

Absolutely. So what's your plan to make changes and stand up for what you believe in?

EEasterChick · 22/05/2014 21:22

Wow give OP a break. She would like her H to have two weeks bonding time with his child (pathetically measly compared with other European countries) and isn't even saying it should be paid. Hardly a sense of entitlement. And she doesn't have to have a plan to make our society more family friendly (not much of an ask there Dippy - she asked if she was BU to think it should be possible for a new father to have a few days off at the birth of his child. IMO YADNBU.

Chunderella · 22/05/2014 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NearTheWindymill · 22/05/2014 21:35

My parents' generation got hit by Maxwell and pension contributions have only just been made mandatory without a specific opt out.

EEasterChick · 22/05/2014 22:16

So - that means OP's DH should not get to spend time with his newborn? Or is it competitive hardshippery?

DippyEggNSolders · 22/05/2014 22:19

i just think he should be entitled to the two weeks off, unpaid

^ the op asked this and I gave my answer, which is that most^ employers would give the time off. I don't really feel the op has an argument until her DP is in a situation which means he is refused the time off for the birth of his child. He needs to apply, go through the process and if offered the job, discuss it - then she can moan about it if he's refused (which in my experience is very very unlikely).

I'm not giving the OP a hard time, I just feel, in general terms, women have it a lot harder in the work place when it comes to discrimination, pay, leave etc and there's more scope for us to improve mat leave (for females) before pat leave (for males).

Good luck to your dh, hope he finds something he likes

Only1scoop · 22/05/2014 22:22

My dp changed Companies a month before due date. They allowed him the two weeks paternity leave but only paid him for one,

VisualiseAHorse · 22/05/2014 22:38

My OH changed jobs about 3 months before baby was due - it was discussed with his line manager when he was asked if he wanted the job, and they very kindly said he could have two weeks off after the birth.

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