to be absolutely furious with my best friend over this?

[SoGladToHaveFoundThis]

My 'best' friend finished her undergraduate degree two years ago and still hasn't written her dissertation. She was due to hand it in today and I texted her to ask her if she did. I was sure she didn't. Of course I was right. She got an extension because she went to the doctor today and told them she had depression. She doesn't but she knows that I suffer from it and felt very suicidal two weeks ago. In my native country where she lives it is in my experience very easy to get medical attests when asked for.

I am so furious with her. This is one of the reasons why so many people including doctors don't take depression seriously. I am so angry about this. I struggle with depression since I am 12. They come and go without reason and I feel often suicidal. She knows this and then she takes it as a completely joke just because she prefers to party most nights, get drunk and not get home until the early morning.

On the other hand she often says to me that she thinks that I will never finish my degree. Of course it takes me longer than her. I have two DC and I can only study part-time. I would also say that my degree (Economics) isn't as easy as her hospitality management degree.

It just makes me so angry. AIBU to let her know how I feel?

It's not a competition OP, get on with your life and study

I think you need to step back and not take it so personally.

It's not about competition. It's about her claiming to have an illness she doesn't have just because she can't be bothered to write her dissertation.

I get you. She's casually using depression as an excuse whereas for you it is a very real and painful factor to your life.

You don't sound like friends really - supportive, in tune, etc.

Don't bother confronting just start to invest less in the friendship.

If I'd finished my degree two years ago and stll not finished a dissertation I think I would be a bit depressed about where I was going tbh. I don't think you know as much about this situation as you think you do.

How do you know? Do you have some kind of inner connection to her mental state?

The dissertation will not be very good anyway. People who do that sort of thing generally don't then spend all their extra time crafting a blindingly good piece of work. They still do a half assed job at the (rescheduled) last minute.

Be glad you're not so flaky, say nothing, and let her be the architect of her own downfall.

as a sufferer of depression i whole heartedly understand your anger OP!

People like your 'friend' are the reason that depression and other MH illnesses are treated with such scepticism. She ought to be ashamed of herself IF she has used it as an excuse. But there is every possibility that she is suffering with depression. How can you be so certain that she isn't?

I see where you're coming from. It was crass of her to tell you about the dr, but it doesn't sound as if she volunteered the information.
The other stuff, about you not finishing, sounds plain unkind. Drop the biatch!

wheresthelight
I know her for a very long time. Whenever I have my down days more like down weeks she has been very unsupportive. She always said she doesn't believe in depression and I should think about things that make me feel better.

do you think everyone who suffers depression are open about how they feel, not all have suicidal thoughts and even if they have not all express them most probably do not

partying and drinking most nights and not keeping to commitments, who knows maybe fear of failure suggests something else is going on

and maybe ask yourself why you keep this friendship with her

she could have been in denial. I refused to believe for years that i was suffering from depression. i was never mean enough to say the things your friend has said but i couldn't bring myself to believe i had it iyswim.

however, assuming she wasn't in denial then she is being a bitch although i really don't see what you can do about it other than reduce the contact you have with her

How do you know she doesn't have depression?

You can't possibly say whether or not she has depression.

Does she know that you look down on her degree subject?

You say she is your best friend, but she doesn't sound like much of a friend. And neither do you, tbh.

We talk about everything. I know her since I am a teenager. It is just strange that she texts me yesterday that she hasn't finished her dissertation, goes out for dinner with friends (Friend checked her in on FB) and then today, the day she was due to hand it in, she goes to the doctor to get an extension for one week.

Jinsei She does and does so herself. She knows that with her degree she won't earn any money.

Oh, and how can she have finished her undergraduate degree two years ago if she is still doing her dissertation?

OP if you both really feel like this, do you have an adult friendship, or do you just feel you ought to given you have been friends since your teens?

She does and does so herself. She knows that with her degree she won't earn any money.

No degrees offer a guarantee of earning any money these days. Regardless of how much money she may oray not earn later, isn't very nice to denigrate your "friend's" choice of subject.