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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask you to help safeguard the privacy of my DS?

50 replies

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs · 21/05/2014 16:02

So I'm about six weeks away from giving birth to our first DS (hurrah!). One of the things that DH and I really want to avoid is boring our friends to tears with photos of our offspring so we've decided not to put his photos online on FB / twitter etc. OK, I'll be honest, it's only partly because we don't want to bore our friends. It's mainly because I don't feel comfortable filling the internet with photos of him before he's old enough to dictate what gets cached by google. It doesn't seem fair - I'm really quite surprised by some of what my friends post. Naked photos, videos of tantruming children etc. Each to their own and all that but we think it's only fair that he get to choose what is stored online about him.

However, I would really like to have some way of sharing photos with people who might actually be interested (close family etc). I don't really fancy the idea of MIL being a friend on facebook (we get on well, it's just not ideal). Instagram irritates me with all of the faded shots and it's not private enough. What I'm really looking for, is something like instagram but not. Something I can put photos from my phone onto that only the people I invite can access. I was originally thinking a private group on Flickr but I understand that there are various privacy concerns there too.

Does anyone have any ideas or recommendations of platforms that they like?

OP posts:

rempy · 21/05/2014 16:44

I cant remember the name, but we use a "postcard" app. Take a picture on your phone, pay a pound, it's printed as a postcard and posted with your message, by some little elf somewhere.

It's genius. After years of sending foreign postcards with english stamps, weeks after the holiday, we have it all cracked.

Would be perfect for occasional updates to friends and family.

ViviPru · 21/05/2014 16:58

Instagram is very easy to make private and invite-only for friends & family. NO-ONE will see your feed unless you allow them to. And you most definitely do NOT need to use naff filters or frames (I don't and most of the 350 people I follow don't either) It's so quick and easy. I'm a semi-pro photographer and have experience of all of the platforms listed above and instagram is by far the simplest interface, there are no annoying ads and it's seamless from taking the picture to uploading to share.

I use dropbox for work and a few family members share photos on there but in all honesty it never crosses my mind to go and have a look at their images as it's not something you would just absentmindedly browse when you have a spare minute as you might do with Facebook or Instagram.

I would inwardly groan if a family member wanted me to sign up to another sharing platform. At least if you use Instagram, several folk are likely to be on there already so easy for them and it's one of the fastest-growing sharing platforms so your friends and family will be on there imminently anyway. Unlike other photo hosting sites, the comments section below each image is a very prominent feature so you'll find you'll get into conversations with friends and family about your images which is a lovely way to stay in touch. Its the ideal way for people to keep connected, effortlessly and securely IMO.

trevortrevorslattery · 21/05/2014 16:59

YY to dropbox - it's brilliant.

geekaMaxima · 21/05/2014 17:00

It's iOS only, but the built in Photostream facility is what we use. Only invited people can see what you upload and they can like / comment on each photo or video. You also get an alert for each new photo or comment.

As it happens, all our family have either an iPhone or iPad so it works out great for us. Not so good for Android users though!

SlimJiminy · 21/05/2014 17:01

www.snapfish.com/

www.dropshots.com/

Or Google 'private photo sharing' if you want to look into options.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 21/05/2014 17:10

You can compile a few pics into one "frame" and print as a photo or postcard or calendar
If you share the pics electronically in any form, using any host eg FB or Instagram then you are allowing friends and family to download, print and share them. You have immediately lost control of the image and there is always one idiot who will repost it without even thinking that they might need to ask for consent.

SlimJiminy · 21/05/2014 17:12

I wouldn't use Instagram if you want to keep your child of social media. Their Ts&Cs state that "You agree that a business or other entity may pay us to display your username, likeness, photos (along with any associated metadata), and/or actions you take, in connection with paid or sponsored content or promotions, without any compensation to you..."

This means that photographs uploaded to Instagram could end up in an advertisement on the service or on Facebook. In addition, someone who doesn’t use Instagram could end up in an advertisement if they have their photograph snapped and shared on the service by a friend. More

Probably nothing to worry about, but worth bearing in mind?

SlimJiminy · 21/05/2014 17:15

I should add that I realise there's always a security risk with anything online, I just think file-sharing is a better option for op to consider than social media.

Me624 · 21/05/2014 17:22

Another vote for drop box. We have our iPhones set up so that every photo we take is automatically uploaded. I'm sure these a similar app for non iPhones.

Original poster

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs · 21/05/2014 20:09

Wow again! Thank you all this brilliant, serious food for thought. I'm going to spend a good chunk of tomorrow looking at them all!

SlimJiminy that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I know of various cases where photos have been discovered to be being used elsewhere and I really want to avoid it. I'd also like to avoid his face being "mapped" by the FR software that's on various websites. I just think that when he's old enough, he can decide what to share but until then I think we have an inherent responsibility to protect his privacy. So file sharing rather than social media is definitely how we'd like to go. I'm just trying to find a file share platform I can update from my iPhone and DH can use from his BB!

Thank you all again, keep them coming! And apologies for teh least scrappy AIBU ever...

OP posts:

trevortrevorslattery · 22/05/2014 12:21

Ooh just googled and you can get Dropbox for BB. And def for iphone too as I have it.

We also have our home finance spreadsheets [GEEK] on there so I can update at work and home .. my husband fileshares with his dad for his business on it.

And we have various folders with different access rights / privacy settings for sharing different photosets with different groups of friends.

It's ace!

Joules68 · 22/05/2014 12:32

He will still be all overfacebook/Internet. Other people will post pics of him, it will get shared and passed on. You can't prevent that kind of thing

MrsChickPea · 22/05/2014 12:35

Hello. I suggest Flickr www.flickr.com. It's free. You can store loads and loads of photos. You can have albums. You can decide if your albums are public for all to see, or private. If private you invite your friends/family and they can view. Works very well here!

gotnotimeforthat · 22/05/2014 12:41

I use 'one drive' through my email address. You create a folder upload your photos then invite who you want to view them. No invite no viewing.

Tangerinefairy · 22/05/2014 12:46

I know just what you mean and I don't think yabu at all. I put the odd pic up of Dd but only about twice a year and only showing her looking proud or in a bridesmaid dress or something like that. I think it's horrible when people put pics or videos up of their kids having tantrums or whatever. I thought I was being overly sensitive about it so am glad someone else feels like that too. I just think it's an invasion of their privacy but also disloyal. I'd hate someone to put photos of me up not at my best for everyone to laugh at!

Original poster

HomeIsWhereTheGinIs · 22/05/2014 12:48

Thanks again all, again, keep them coming (I'm geekily looking at all options!)

Joules68 I'm not so worried about him being in the background of photos etc (I'm not that precious), I just don't want him tagged with his own name or ours. So if a friend puts up a group shot with him in it, I'll just ask them not to tag any of us so that he doesn't get mapped and isn't searchable.

OP posts:

PrincessBabyCat · 22/05/2014 12:55

If you're worried about him being searched, just remove the option to search for you on facebook in privacy settings. Google won't even bring you up once you tick that option.

I share DD but I will only show her in a good light, and no naked baby pictures. Things might change as she gets past the chunky baby stage as far as what I choose to share, but I do cringe at some of the stuff parents post about their kids. The put the best of themselves on facebook, why aren't they doing that for their children?

yomellamoHelly · 22/05/2014 12:58

Googleplus. Stores pictures in the cloud (which is useful as a back-up system) and you can specify who can see them (they get an email when you upload any and decide who, if anyone, to share them with).

Bumpinthenight · 22/05/2014 14:09

My cousin uses tinybeans a daily email is sent.

stoopstofolly · 22/05/2014 14:59

If you have an iphone/ipad you can set up a shared photo stream and then invite people to join it. We use it and it's a great way to send the cute random snaps/ videos that only grandparents/ siblings would be interested in! You can set it up to notify when a new photos been posted.

stealthsquiggle · 22/05/2014 15:04

Winterhasruinedmyface - could you link to the photo frames you have? We have been looking for something similar for PILs - would require zero intervention from them (I have tried setting them up on Flickr and showing them how to access my "family and friends" photos but that was too complicated apparently)

OP - what are your concerns about Flickr? As long as you set defaults on your phone to appropriate security levels I am not sure I see the issue (I never share photos on FB either)

Mutley77 · 22/05/2014 15:12

Google plus. We use Facebook but only for odd photos of the children. We put albums on google plus of our holidays etc and share them with immediate extended famiy only. We live far from a lot of close friends and family so this covers enough bases for us without needing to print things out etc!

Velocitractor · 22/05/2014 15:17

Have a look at tinymo. It's made for this and most importantly (as well as limiting who can see your stuff according to your settings) your photos remain your property and anything you delete is actually deleted.

FelixFelix · 22/05/2014 15:23

Lifecake is what you're looking for. It's free and it's brilliant. You can invite family and friends via email to view an album of photos and videos you upload. You view them like a timeline. I love scrolling through and seeing my dd grow up before my eyes Also you can get your pictures turned in to a photo book, which if will probably do for her first year as I'm rubbish at printing pictures.

quellerosiel · 22/05/2014 15:31

Shared folder on dropbox? My phone automatically syncs all my photos to dropbox and then you would just have to add whoever to the folder. Its really handy but it does mean all the random crap I take photos of (like the back of a packet for calorie counting purposes) get lovingly backed along with the good stuff. I have to do a clear lut once in a while but overall its very low maintenance!

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