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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable

32 replies

cluckyoldhen · 21/05/2014 01:31

My child was made to change her sweater in school today. The school decided her short sleeved jumper wasn't suitable for the school photo. School uniform is preferred but not compulsory in this state school. They made her wear an old long sleeved one from lost property. I am cross. Comments please.

OP posts:
Topaz25 · 21/05/2014 01:40

I would ask them why it was unsuitable and to clarify their uniform guidelines. It's either compulsory or it isn't, if it isn't and what she was wearing was appropriate for school they shouldn't force her to change IMO.

Salazar · 21/05/2014 01:41

If it made all the kids look the same for the photo, and she is fine in it normally, I wouldn't be fussed. Just an aesthetic thing.

ChilledCat · 21/05/2014 01:43

I remember this from when I was at school. In year 11 I wore a shirt with v neck jumper and looked extremely smart compared to everyone else wearing polo shirts but was told time and again I wasn't aloud to. I spent a lot of that year in isolation because of it. Everyone thought it was ridiculous and eventually they backed down but then I was an annoying little shit who wasn't afraid of an argument with the teachers.
I think this is ridiculous, who is going to see her school photos anyway??? Only you if you buy them!! I would complain, though not much they can do now. Poor thing, was she very embarrassed?

Salazar · 21/05/2014 01:47

I'm assuming this is a class photo. If it's a solo picture it's daft, and I take back what I said.

Original poster
cluckyoldhen · 21/05/2014 01:50

Thanks. It helps to have another view. The head teacher was pretty offhand about it but my wee one didn't like it. Her sisters didn't change which made her feel worse. Some other children were made to change too but there're were still lots of kids with different things but all in school colours. So seemed a bit pointless .

OP posts:
Salazar · 21/05/2014 01:54

Was it a group photo where your dd stood out from the rest, or was it a solo shot?

Original poster
cluckyoldhen · 21/05/2014 01:56

It was a whole school photo and it's a big school. No white shirts and ties which might have made sense. Just red tops white polo shirts and black/grey skirts. Some had on checked dresses too. They all look smart. I really like the idea of similar but not the same. Room for individuality.

OP posts:
Salazar · 21/05/2014 01:58

Then I've no idea why they did it. I assumed it was 30 kids and she was the only different one. Seems bonkers now.

HolidayCriminal · 21/05/2014 03:11

meh, you weren't planning to buy this overpriced photo, were you?

Original poster
cluckyoldhen · 21/05/2014 07:34

If it was kids behaving like that we would say it was bullying. I think I might complain to the board. Thanks for the support, I was beginning to think it was just me being a cluckyoldhen

OP posts:
mindthegap79 · 21/05/2014 08:36

Oh fgs, I really don't see the issue. I imagine that the dresses some were wearing come within the uniform policy and the short sleeved jumper doesn't. She'll have been in it for all of 20 minutes. YABU

Pagwatch · 21/05/2014 08:40

It seems a bit unnecessary but bullying? Really?

Joysmum · 21/05/2014 09:24

Talk about a non-issue!

Floggingmolly · 21/05/2014 09:27

Why are you cross? What does it matter?? Confused

Bunbaker · 21/05/2014 09:33

"I think I might complain to the board."

Choose your battles. IMO this one just isn't worth it, and you will come across as one of "those parents". I am a school governor and I can imagine the kind of comments your "problem" would invite.

In the grand scheme of things this really isn't important.

DeWee · 21/05/2014 09:34

I don't see a problem. I remember that used to happen at my school.

When dh had his full school photo done they were in the middle of changing uniform, so had two totally different uniforms. So they arranged it symmetrically, and he remembers some of them being asked to swap jumpers so they stayed within their form but the photo looked symmetric.

Bullying Hmm

HayDayQueen · 21/05/2014 09:35

If it was a large group, the younger children will normally be at the front, and they are often a bit more particular about the front row, could that have been it?

magpiegin · 21/05/2014 19:31

Is this really worth getting cross over? Seems like a none issue to me.

tumbletumble · 21/05/2014 19:33

Sorry OP but I think you are over reacting.

somewheresomehow · 21/05/2014 20:37

get over it, it was a group photo end of

Montegomongoose · 21/05/2014 21:29

"Bullying" and "complain to the board?" Because you are cross your child changed jumpers?

Please come back and tell us their proposed course of action

Blimey.

What will you do if something actually happens?

BrokenToeOuch · 21/05/2014 21:37

YABU. And petty.
Last year DD had a class photo. Uniform guidelines says one colour, although as an alternative we were able to also use grey sweatshirts/cardis.
Her Ds was the only one in the class to wear grey on that particular day so someone (teacher/photographer/head, I don't know who) asked him to swap his grey one for a school logo and colour one from lost property to match the rest of his classmates. His Mum went mental and marched in to talk to the head, demanded the photo was retaken (WTF?). Head refused and told the woman she was being VU. And she was. As would you be to 'take it to the board'.

WorraLiberty · 21/05/2014 21:41

Blimey, I can't see the issue.

They wanted a tidy photo that's all.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 21/05/2014 21:53

Gosh can't see the issue either. If that is the most important thing to worry about you must get over it!

Original poster
cluckyoldhen · 14/07/2014 09:02

Well thanks all. The photo is out and as predicted I haven't bought it. You might all want to know that all the teachers wore different outfits and the head teacher a ridiculous bright pink jacket. So even more annoyed about the "uniformity". My little one was not in the front row, neither were her sisters. But they are 3 of very few black kids in the school and fostered. So perhaps not the board this time but all schools and all staff are obliged by law to protect children. This may seem petty to some of you but for this child it was humiliating. You don't have a right to change the clothes children are wearing regardless. Even if there is a school uniform strict policy , you would have to contact the parent to discuss the issue or to ask to have her comply with uniform rules. But she was in uniform, apparently just not what the teacher wanted.

OP posts: