To feel a bit sad to find out about my sister's engagement via Facebook

[Sudocremegg]

A whole three days after the event?

Obviously I'm delighted for her and am dying to get all the details of how etc, but she (and my parents) have seemingly chosen not to tell me, or my older sister, about the news, rather leaving us to find out online. I appreciate it's not about me at all, but I thought we might at least have found out before the masses.

When DH and I got engaged we kept the news quiet on social media until we had told all the important people that we were getting married and my parents/DH's parents had done the same.

AIBU to feel a bit hurt that we can't share her joy on this on a slightly more personal level than a comment on a FB photo.

I think you have every right to feel a bit upset you were told with the masses a few days later! If she had have announced it on there immediately, then it would be different. But she told your parents (or have you assumed that) and waited 3 days. Are you close with your sister usually?

We're not hugely close (though no less than when I got engaged when we took the family out to lunch to announce it to them), but I am quite close to my parents so find it odd that it wasn't mentioned there either. My parents have known since it happened as my father was taken out and asked his permission.

Odd. I'll obviously get over it, but it does make me a little sad.

Sister is younger I bet

Tis the moderne way. In a few years hence the safe arrival of Baby will be announced via FB too, mark my words (this happened in RL)

Think I'd be a bit miffed but I'd end up hiding her eventually anyway if she's the type to bang on and on about wedding plans/pregnancy stages on Facebook. Each to their own I suppose.

Yes sister is younger. Curse these early 30-somethings with their modern ways

Hah yes curse them the young rotters

If she had have announced it on there immediately, then it would be different.

No it wouldn't. I did that when I got engaged, put it up literally 2 hours after the fact. I got a ton of backlash for not calling everyone first.

But I did the same thing with baby. When she was born, she was up on facebook to announce her birth. I didn't get any upset then (but I suspect DM called and texted everyone during the 2-3 hours I was settling in with the new baby).

In any case, it really is her event to announce in the way that she sees fit.

When I told a handful of close family, I specifically asked them not to post it on Facebook so that I could made sure less close relatives didn't find out from second hand.

Given that you are immediate family and were not told must be pretty hard to swallow! It is thoughtless of your sister.

I'd be a bit hurt too. When my sister got married last year neither me nor my brother knew anything about it until the invitation arrived in the post, I was quite shocked she hadn't told us before just posting the invitations out to everyone...

Yanbu, it really is sad that people choose to use social media as a first resort now. I would never think to include my family in sharing big news as part of everyone else. Anyway it seems like you are not very close.

dbro announced birth of dn on facebook before he told my parents . planned c-section. we'd all been worrying ourselves silly when didn't hear from them. DF and I both have accounts which are completely inactive.