is this abuse?

[madbutnormal]

n/c as embarrassed. currently living with dm-my dh died when i was pregnant with dc2-cant move out until i find a house to buy and cant rent as have a dog. i need advice and dont know where to go. dm hits the kids and i am too afraid to speak out as would be out on street-just saw her hit dog with spade. she screams and shouts over things like dc 1 leaving the light on but goes on for hours-shes not my husband so i cant go to wa. sibblings live overseas. everyone thinks she is such a nice person-who will belive me? list is too long and she is over my shoulder so cant explain all but scared of her-had to sell house fast when dh died and took a long time to sort it out as he left no will. why am i so weak/i am on ads and have v bad thoughts about all this. i just dont know if this is ok as in her house and her rules but cant cope anymore. she is just so mean to the dog who i love so much and makes her sleep outside in any weather and beats and shouts at her-cant stand the shouting and nasty things she shouts anymore. i just cant tell anyone in rl-i need a link or something but have to get little one from nursery now-thanks in advance

Definitely abuse. What a disgraceful way for someone to treat her family, and as for hitting your children, (and then the dog with a spade) - absolutely GRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Please, as others have suggested, contact Women's Aid. They will be able to help

If I'm close to you, I'll help in some way, willingly, happily, while you get yourself sorted. I have a few 'rescue animals' and we are all (in the family) CRB checked. (Live in the SE if any use)

Be brave, be strong - don't think you are being weak for one tiny minute. What you have described is simply appalling.
Good luck x x x

It sounds as though she is very very stressed out by having you all there with her.To take in a family is a big undertaking and maybe the dog is just the final straw.
When you say she hits the children what do you mean.Theres a big difference between a a tap across a clothed bottom and a hard slap in the face?

You need to get out, this is abuse. I rented with dogs, and it is possible.

Put your children first and rehome the dog so you can find somewhere to rent asap. It is abuse, get out of there.

Yes it is abuse. And yes you can call WA for support you can also talk to the police the RSPCA your doctor and social services

I've rented with dogs and cats. Call every estate agent around and ask if they have any properties that allow pets, offer to pay a larger damage deposit/have the carpets professionally cleaned when you vacate the premises. You will find something, it is possible and your situation sounds so awful there that honestly anywhere would be better. Even if the house isn't in a perfect location or isn't amazing at least you will all be safe.

There are pet refuges who will take your dog in the short-medium term to help you escape domestic abuse. Check out the links here. You will probably need to go through WA (or SS or police) to verify to the pet refuge service that you are escaping a domestic abuse situation, but it opens up a greater range of short-term accommodation to you.

Nothing much to add except to say that yes, this is abuse, and yes, you will be believed. Click on the WA link upthread and get help now.

It sounds an awful situation, and I do feel for you.

It is possible to rent with a dog, but may just take a little longer to find the right place (look generally at houses rather than flats, as there are fewer restrictions when the landlord is a freeholder rather than a leaseholder).

I am a landlady. We have two houses and two flats which we rent out. We don't mind pets in the houses though will put a clause into the tenancy agreement regarding them (being responsible for all damage they cause, and getting professional cleaning done at the end of the tenancy).

Don't just speak to High Street estate agents, register with online ones too, such as Upad. Keep an eye out in your local paper too, and on Gumtree (I think).

Record it and phone the police when she is abusive. Just because you can't go to women's aid doesn't mean you can't get help, and someone eill certainly help a woman in your situation with small children find somewhere to live. Have you gone to citizens advice re housing?

I'm in the SW and can travel to you if you need any help.

I dont care ho

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call wa x

Abuse.
Worry about your children and yourself and then the dog.
You can do this. Take the advice others have posted, get all your documents. Contact women's aid. They will help.
Your children won't thank you for suffering an abusive childhood because of a dog.
Please get help and get out today for your children's sake.